Legacy: Fragments of John Tracy, Starman (Pt 2)

NIGHTMARE (original link) 

Scott was walking down the stairs to the living room when he could hear something smash on the floor and alot of shouting. Curious he stood still, listening carefully to what seemed to be a rather heated argument. For a moment he thought it might be Virgil and Gordon having a typical fight over the last of some cake slice or another till he realised the sudden drop in volume in one of the voices as it got nastier. That didn’t bode well and that voice was one you never wanted to hear get mad.

“He’s not my responsibility. He can fend for himself, the little brat doesn’t need us to shadow him all the time.”

That was definitely Gordon. The onset of becoming a teenager had brought the worst out in the second youngest sibling and Scott thanked his lucky stars only one of his brothers was finding the whole transition between child and teenager the biggest pain in the arse of his entire life. Virgil was on that horrible cusp too but he seemed to be coping better, usually just making sure Gordon didn’t do anything remotely stupid.. Which was technically impossible as far as Scott saw it. His other brother John seemed to have his own problems already and didn’t need Gordon’s pain in the arse attitude to make it a whole lot worse. He had been doing well as he used to be quite ill but it had been in remission until a week or so at least. Scott knew that regardless of how much Grandma passed it off as the flu, the more he knew his younger brother was getting sick all over again.. This was the first time he ever cared about it.

“You were asked to mind him while we did the chores Grandma asked us to do!” That was Virgil’s voice, just as loud and as broken as Gordon. “He’s only five still Gordon!”

“Let go of me Virgil! I will hit you so damn hard Gordon your brain will shoot out of your skull and out your arse!”

Ah… well now, Scott had the full picture. It was about Alan. That would give little John a reason to get as aggressive as that. Scott had learned the hard way that John could indeed fight for himself and fight really unfair. The right motivation and you had a potential weapon in your hands.

He stepped out of the stairwell and into the living room and he saw Gordon strutting around the room as if he owned the place, while Virgil was struggling really hard to stop John from trying to kill him. Gordon was lucky Virgil was quite strong as even Scott had a hard time keeping John’s temper on a leash when push came to shove.

“Look I don’t see what the deal is, he’s probably hiding in a closet somewhere… it’s not like he’d wander off and fall into the pool or anything.”

“You.. you can’t handle any sort of responsibility can you?”

Scott decided to step in. “Alright break it up! Let’s go and find him, I’m sure Alan will be alright. John, Virgil, you two search outside, me and Gordon will scour the house and then join you if we can’t find him. Fair?”

Virgil eventually let John go, the skinny little sibling rubbed his arms after Virgil had been holding onto them so tight. “Fair. Come on Virgil, let’s check out in the garden.” he glared down the end of his nose at Gordon. “If you let him get hurt in any way you’re so dead.” he growled before being ushered outside.

Gordon poked out his tongue and then caught the unimpressed expression on Scott's face and thought better of yelling at his other older sibling just to have the last word. Scott didn’t have to give him a verbal warning about how next time he’d just let Virgil leave John to punch the crap out of him.

“Your a useless pain in the butt you know that Gords. You know how John gets really protective over Alan. You need to get your arse into gear.”

He didn’t wait for an answer it simply wasn’t worth it. Gordon would have lied to his face anyway. There were times he wished Gordon was the one who got sick, only just so he could learn to enjoy some humble pie instead of the over privileged jerk he was being. He knew the reason was because Gordon wanted approval from John and while he did get it all the time, he still felt he was being out-shined by Alan. Still that wasn’t a reason to be moron and shirk responsibility when asked, especially when little Alan trusted everyone to be there to protect him.

***

“He’s not in Kyrano’s zen garden, and I couldn’t see him by the pool. Where do you think he could be John?” Virgil sounded puffed out. John had taken the other side of the island where dad’s garden shed was and the hiding spots he knew that Alan loved to play in when Gordon usually had been mean to him, so he had to run around to catch up to him.

“He’s not in any of his usual hiding spots either Virgil. I really do hope he’s not hurt and fallen somewhere.”

“The only place we haven't looked is the beach and we’re not allowed down there without Grandma, dad or Mr. Kyrano.”

“Then that’s where he’ll be.”

“You sure about that?”

“Yep, any place Gordon isn’t going to go because he’s got to be supervised is where Alan would be… at least I hope so. Let’s go have a look anyway it can’t hurt to check those rocks and things down there too, since he loves the rock pools that the water leaves behind.”

“But we shouldn't be climbing over those on our own John.”

“Let’s hope we don’t have to, ok Virgil?”

They got down to the main beach and walked up and down the length of it until they reached the rocks that were being reshaped by the ocean waves.

“I don’t see him anywhere Johnny. Maybe he’s in the house somewhere? We’ve looked all over the island now.”

“He has to be around here somewhere.”

“I doubt that Johnny.”

“Then why is his shoes here?”

Virgil picked up the small pair of sneakers. “But why would he climb all over the rocks for?”

“There’s a rocky outcrop I’ve seen dad take him up to before when he tried to teach him how to fish. Maybe he’s gone up there?”

“Seriously? You think he’d climb all that way?” Virgil looked at John as if he told him to skinny dip in the pool.

“Deadly. This is Allie we’re talking about, he climbs up on the roof just to watch the stars with me.”

“You know if dad ever found out about that-”

“He won’t if you keep your mouth shut. You know if he did you’d lose your favorite drawing spot.”

“We going after him then? Shouldn't we grab Kyrano? I was sure he was in the garden earlier.”

John was already pulling himself up onto the huge rocks. “You can if you like, but I’m not going to leave Allie up there on his own.”

Vigil helped push his older brother up before climbing himself. John was already calling for the youngest Tracy.

“ALAN!” John shouted. “ALAN WHERE ARE YOU!?”

“ALLIE!?” Virgil yelled, his voice far louder than his older brother’s.

Virgil grabbed John by the shirt sleeve. “Do you hear that?”

They both stood still and the noise Virgil heard came across very faint.

“ALAN!” they both shouted, clambering over the rocks and around the little pools until they both stopped around large deep hole in the rocks where the sound had come from.

Alan looked up at them from the bottom of the hole, wet from head to toe. “Virgil! John!” he called out, completely terrified.

“Hang on Alan, we’ll get you out ok!” Virgil shouted down the hole. He grabbed John by the shoulder. “Stay here while I go get Scott.” Then he was off, leaping down off the huge boulders, down the rocky ledges until he touched his feet back onto the sand and ran back towards the house.

“I’m scared! I’m really scared John!” Alan cried out as he started to shiver. He must have been down there for a while, John thought.

“It’s ok Alan, you’ll be alright I promise!”

“Gordon was so mean! He said that mum’s not here because of me. Is that really true Johnny? I’m I the reason she’s gone?” Alan looked about to cry.

“No it’s not true, Gordon’s a jerk. I’ve told you that hundreds of times. She loved you, she loved all of us.”

“How do you know that for sure?”

“Trust me Alan. I know alright?”

John noticed that the tide was splashing harder against the rocks and that the water was starting to come in. it would be a matter of hours before where he was standing was going to be underwater. Even now, it was filling the hole from the bottom and Alan was almost chest deep in it.

He had to do something otherwise his little brother was going to drown.

“Hold on Alan, I’m coming down to get you!” John called down, trying to think of the safest way down into the hole. If he could just spread himself out like a spider he could hop most of the way down. His arms were just strong enough to make it down to the bottom but there was no way he was going to be able to carry Alan or himself up. The water was up to his waist and freezing cold as the hole captured the draft from the wind. He lifted Alan up into his arms, so his brother was well above the waterline. His littlest brother was in tears and hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go.

“It’s alright Alan. I got you now. You're going to be safe.” John tried calming the little one down while keeping a close eye back towards the top of the hole.

“I don’t want to drown!”

“You won’t, I promise.”

Water was already starting to creep in at his own chest height a lot faster than he had first assumed it would. Virgil better hurry up otherwise the water was going to drown him instead.

“Alan, climb up onto my shoulders and see how far you can reach.”

“What if I can’t reach?”

“It won’t matter, it will keep your head above water till Virgil gets back.”

“What about you John?”

“What about me? I’ll be fine.” Alan’s bright blue eyes stared into his own. “Come on Alan, please?”

“Ok Johnny if you’re going to be ok too.”

“I will be, so get your butt up there!”

Alan clambered up onto his older brother’s shoulders and pulled himself up using the rocky surface around them to stand on John, he didn’t notice his brother stumble and hold onto the wall to balance his weight. John was the weakling in the family but that didn’t mean he didn’t try to be the strongest person around for Alan. It was sheer willpower alone that kept his legs from buckling beneath them.

“Ok, I can… Just… NUGH!” Alan tried to pull himself further up but couldn’t find a hand hold. He tried again, only to have a hand grab his arm and pull him upwards.

Virgil had come back, this time with Scott and Gordon in tow.

“Gotcha Allie!” he said, lifting him out of the hole and handing him over to Scott who had a towel to dry him with. Virgil looked back down the hole and saw that John was struggling now to keep his own head above water.

“Scott, he’s too far down for me to just pull up.” He turned to the eldest Tracy and then back again to look at John. “Why did you go and do such a stupid thing and go down there yourself!?”

“If I didn’t Alan would have drowned!”

“Yeah ok fine... but now you're going to drown!”

“Just give me a second to get a foothold and I can see if I can climb back out.”

“Are you sure you can do that John?” Scott called down. Now that Alan had been taken care of and was sitting with Gordon who was sulking for being yelled at for not wanting to help, he could lean in and assess the situation himself.

“I can try but everything is far slipperier than it was when I came down.” John grabbed at the rocky surface and hauled himself up a little bit of the way before he slipped and was back in the water, his head going under the surface.

“JOHN!” Scott yelled down the hole in panic and was relieved when his brother’s head broke the surface. There was no way John could climb up now, he need his arms to help him stay afloat. He had an idea.

“Virgil, Gordon, take off your tops!”

“What? No way it’s freezing out here!” Gordon protested.

“Just shut up and do what he says, Gordon if it wasn’t for you this wouldn’t be happening in the first place.” Virgil had just about enough of his younger sibling. He was already yanking his long sleeve t-shirt off and handing it to Scott, who had already removed his skivvy to tie the sleeves together.

“Fine.” Gordon caved in and removed his sweater and his long sleeved shirt and handed them over.

Once Scott was happy with his makeshift rope, he lowered it down the hole for John to grab.

John’s arms desperately reached up out of the water to get a hold of the shirt rope, his head was continuously been pulled under by the suction of the current that was now picking up and affecting the water in the hole. Any longer and he knew that his body would give up. Sure the mind is strong, but it’s useless if the body can’t keep it out of the water.

“Right he’s got it, Ok Virgil.. PULL!” Scott called back behind him to his younger sibling who was the muscle for this rescue. The two of them pulled as hard as they could and slowly they brought John up and out onto the top of the rocks. Virgil was fast and grabbed his older brother and dragged him up the rest of the way by the back of his shirt collar.

“John are you alright?” Virgil asked hurriedly, as Scott grabbed a towel. “Hey, Johnny…” he gave his brother a little shake.

Scott draped a towel around his shoulders and could tell that the strain from being down the hole had been far too much for John. His sickly little brother had managed to make himself alot worse than before he started. There was just no way he was going to be able to walk to the house.

“I’ll help you with John, Virgil. Gordon, you help Alan back to the house too please.”

Gordon grabbed Alan by the hand. “Let’s go squirt.”

Alan tugged himself free and ran over to Scott and hid behind him. “NO! Gordie is mean. I want to come with you and Virgie and John.”

“Alright Alan, but you have to let us carry John ok?”

“K. Is he going to be ok?”

“Course he is. He just needs a rest Allie.” Virgil sounded ever optimistic. Like Scott he had also noticed that his brother wasn’t doing so well. “I promise you he’ll be fine in an hour or so.”

Gordon watched his brother’s carry John off back to the house with Alan trailing behind and felt a pang of guilt. He never really wanted to hurt John but by being nasty to Alan he had done so without even realising it. Somehow he had to fix things.

***

Alan had sat quietly by John’s bedroom door, waiting for someone to say it was ok and he could finally go inside. Usually he wouldn’t have but Grandma and Kyrano where very specific about keeping everyone out for the time being. They had called for a doctor to fly in all the way from Sydney, Australia so Alan was starting to get really scared that John had been hurt trying to save him. His brothers didn’t give him any other impression than that either, Virgil occasionally checking that Alan was alright and Scott trying to see if he was allowed in the room yet too.

The only person who hadn’t was Gordon, and Alan wasn’t in the mood to talk to him. As much as Alan knew it was his fault, it was also Gordon's too.

Alan had ended up sitting outside of the bedroom the whole day, not daring to move. Eventually Gordon walked along the hallway and sat down on the floorboards beside him, a rather thoughtful expression on his features. He didn’t say much however and that was fine by Alan. It’s not as if he could tell Gordon where he could spend his time around the house after all.

“Still not allowed in huh?” Gordon said after a while.

Alan shook his head and drew his knees up to his chest.

“Look, I’m sorry Alan… I didn’t mean those things I said.”

“Then why did you say them?”

“I… I don’t know. They just came out. I guess I was jealous of the amount of time John spends with you. He looks like mum used to you know that right?”

Alan shook his head again. He didn’t know that at all.

“I miss her alot, Alan. I guess I want Johnny’s attention because of that.” Gordon looked down the hallway and then back at his little brother smiling. “You’re really lucky that Johnny cares about you so much, he’d never do anything so awesome for anyone else.” his face then looked sad. “He wouldn’t do that for me at any rate.”

A hand patted Gordon on the leg. “I bet he so would Gordie. He’d help everyone. He loves us all very very much.”

Gordon smirked. “You’re right Alan. I guess he would even if we annoyed him too much.”

The bedroom door opened and the doctor that had been called looked down at the boys and smiled softly. “Hello boys.” the elderly lady said. “My, how you have both grown! I haven't seen you since you were born in the royal women's hospital in Sydney Alan! And Gordon, I remember delivering you myself in Auckland, New Zealand.”

Alan couldn’t place the woman’s face but Gordon did. He had not seen her since the last time John was ill, before their mother went missing.

“Good afternoon Dr. Venicea.” Gordon smiled at her, getting a bigger one in return.

“How’s your swimming training?”

“Great fun! Johnny keeps time for me every day!”

This made the doctor laugh a little. “I’m glad to hear it! He needed something to do!” she turned her attention to Alan. “I hear John saved you from drowning today Alan?” she asked the smaller boy rather sweetly, trying not to be scary. She was used to dealing with children and was quite aware that little Alan had never seen a doctor before till now. He had only ever seen nurses and that was when he had to have needles,and those were few and far between.

“Yes...miss..” Alan said shyly.

“It’s nice to see how much he really gets along with you boys.” she said as if she had something she was thinking about on her mind.

“Is he going to be alright?”

‘He’ll be fine. Just needs to rest and no more daring rescues for a few days. You can promise me that alright boys?”

“Yes miss!” Alan and Gordon said in unison.

“Good. I think someone would like some visitors.” she opened the door wider to let both boys inside, before she walked down the hall to talk to the boy's grandmother.

John was lying under some really thick blankets, barely awake. He shifted them a little as Alan climbed up on the bed and crawled under them to give his brother a much needed hug that he’d been wanting to do all day.

Gordon was more hesitant, as the last time he had seen his brother look so bad was when Alan was a baby. He had hoped he would never see it again. He had promised John he would never be allowed to get that sick again ever. He felt as if he let him down.

“Are you jus… gonna stand...around all day… fish brain?” John’s voice murmured.

“You’re not mad at me, Johnny?”

“Too tired…. to be mad at anyone, Gordon.”

“Good.” Gordon climbed onto the bed as well and clambered under the covers to cuddle both Alan and John. “I’m really sorry Johnny. Won’t happen again.”

“Whatever.” John mumbled drifting off to sleep. Everything was right again in his little world and he no longer cared. As long as everyone was safe, nothing mattered.

 

PRESENT DAY 

John dragged himself out of bed, Alarms were going off on his electronic prosthetic though he didn't need that to tell him he was having a relapse. His body was on fire and he was feeling weaker than a kitten. He couldn't ride it out as there wasn't a chance that it would get better on it's own without killing him. He wasn't young enough to fight it anymore without doing some sort of damage to his eternal organs.

"John, I've already called the doctor's in the mainland and they'll have someone over here in three hours."

"Not soon enough EOS." John managed to bark out through clenched teeth as he stumbled his way to the bathroom, almost collapsing at the sink when he barreled through the door. He forced himself up to get into the medicine cabinet and after the initial shaky fight to get his medication into the end of the epi-pen he was fast in sticking it into his arm before he slipped to the floor, head missing the edge of the sink on the way down to the tiles.

"John? John stay with me, Help is coming."

"I told you EOS...no one is coming." He mumbled out as the fires of the fever and illness washed over him. He hoped like hell he got his medication in time.

FLASHBACK (original link)

John bounced down the hallway from his bedroom, jumped down the stairs and swung the door open to his father's office with the biggest, most excited grin on his face. He had a piece of of paper in his hand and he waved it around to get his father Jeff's attention.

“Hey dad! Check it out! I got the highest grade in the class! Not bad for doing everything via correspondence huh?!” he wanted to jump around excitedly but tried to hold it together in the presence of his old man.

Jeff seemed to be busy looking over paperwork on his desk and didn't even raise his head to acknowledge his second oldest son's presence. This didn't seem to dampen John's enthusiasm, the eighteen year old walked around the desk and continued to try and catch his father's attention.

“So based on the scores I applied for a few courses, specifically ones in mathematics, astrophysics and astronomy... and maybe an engineering degree.. I got them if you were wondering....”

“That's nice son.” Jeff said automatically, not taking his eyes off his work.”

“They start in a few months time, so I'll have to go and makes sure everything is finalized at the university....” John's voice started to falter.

As much as he wanted his dad to listen he realised he was more or less talking to himself. That was how it always was, Jeff just seemed to pretend John was never there... unless he had done something stupid to hurt himself, in which his father only gave him attention because he was livid with rage. Just once John wanted his father's approval for something... anything that didn't involve him maiming himself.

“I'll just ask Kyrano to fly me out to the states then shall I?”

“You do that.”

John frowned and then said something in order to get under his father's skin. “Dad, I'm gay and getting it off with my brothers.”

“Uh huh, that's nice.”

“Forget it.” John shrugged. Deflated he left the room and left the piece of paper on the desk. His attempt to annoy his father didn't seem to work either and John felt invisible. He shut the door behind him and banged his head against the wall. “Just once... can't you ever be proud of me?” he mumbled before retreating back through the living room, heading for his bedroom.

Virgil grabbed John before his brother made it to his room. “Hey, did you tell dad?”

John looked at his younger brother who was fifteen, his honest and warm brown eyes trying to read his own. John hated disappointing anyone, and the fact their father didn't seem to think much of anything he did was impossible to hide. Virgil knew it too as his expression changed to one of concern. John looked away and walked into the door, forgetting he hadn't opened it.

“So I guess it didn't go so well huh?” Virgil tried hard not to laugh as his older brother rubbed his nose.

John shook his head. “Since when does it ever? I don't know why I can never make him happy. He's always grumpy with me or pretends I'm not even there. I can't wait to go to University and prove that I can be something than just... not there.”

“I'm sure he doesn't think that.”

“I don't know Virgil.... maybe... maybe I should just give up and have Kyrano dump me somewhere on the mainland. It's not like dad will care.”

“Don't say that. Besides, we'd all miss you if you did something like that.”

“Would you really?”

Virgil hugged his sibling. “Of course we would.”

“I’m glad someone would.”

“You know with the grades that you got, you could do anything you want.”

“You think so? I really hope so.” John smiled sweetly. “I’d give my left arm to work for NASA or at the very least somewhere I can watch the stars all night.”

“You dream pretty big little brother.” Scott stepped into the hallway. The nineteen year old was a striking contrast to both of his younger siblings, tall, thin and overall imposing. Everything about him screamed their father’s ideal son in every way shape and form. If their father knew about his last epic escapade it was well and truly swept under the rug. Scott could do no wrong in Jeff’s eyes and it was just as well as if he knew what he was about to sneak off and do…

“At least I have a realistic goal.” John frowned when he saw what was in his older brother’s hand. “Where the hell are you getting all the weed from anyway?”

Scott held a hand to his lips. “Not so loud Johnny, everyone will want some. My room mate in collage grows his own, for horticulture classes.”

“That doesn't mean you have to bring it home and smoke it while you're on your winter break Scotty.”

“You're no fun Johnny, you and Virgil haven't got a ‘fun bone’ in your little bodies.”

Virgil puffed himself out. He was taller than John and also far wider than Scott, all of which was pure muscle. “If that’s your idea of fun then I’d hate to think what your idea of a great party is.” he relaxed. “I’m going to join Gordon down the pool for a couple of laps, want to join John? It’ll take your mind off dad.”

“Maybe later, Virgil. Gordon’s probably sick of me enough for one day.” it was true, John had spent most of the early hours of the morning helping Gordon swim laps around the pool in preparation for his latest attempt to get on the New Zealand Olympic team so he would be the last person Gordon would want to have fun with in his down time.

“Suit yourself.” Virgil shrugged as he walked off down the hallway.

“You know dad’s going to make an example out of you John.” Scott put his arms around his little brother’s shoulders. “He always does. There is no way you’re going to be able to go and study what you want.”

“That’s not true, he let you didn’t he?”

“Yeah but I’m not you. I’m not the one with the brains in the family.”

“Don’t sell yourself short Scott.” John sighed. “You’re always doing that.”

Scott just patted him on the shoulder and walked off, leaving John alone in the hall. The emptiness made John rethink about going to sit in his room by himself… right now he needed some company… any company to get his mind off what Scott had just said.

Dad couldn’t just tell him what to do his whole life surely?

He found himself back in the living room and sat on one of the couches around the coffee table, one of which was opposite to Alan who was fast asleep, taking full advantage of the warm sunlight filtering through the huge glass windows.

If I can’t make dad proud of me I can at least try and do my best to make sure Alan is, he thought. That’s got to count for something. The nine year old practically worshiped John, no matter how much their father belittled him in front of the youngest in the family. John considered himself lucky that at least to someone he couldn’t do anything wrong.

John hated being seen as perfect. He knew he wasn’t. If he was, he wouldn’t always be at odds with their old man.

Jeff emerged from his office, holding the piece of paper that John had left on his desk.

“Son, is this really your passing grade?” Jeff said as if what he read was so terrible that John should have gotten three hundred percent out of a possible one hundred.

John sat to attention, it paid to look like you cared when you were being spoken to. “Yes father.”

“Hmm… with a score this good you should do well at Harvard.”

John twitched. “H-Harvard?”

“Yes, a mind like yours is perfect for the world of business. I will eventually need someone to take over after I retire… it might as well be you.”

“Harvard…. Business... “ John repeated as if the words were like sharp swords.

“Yes. You’re mathematical grades are perfect for what I am requiring in a trained accountant. Maybe you could work your way up from there.”

“A-A-Accountant?” John now looked really hurt.

“Is there a problem?” Jeff raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you wish for me to take an interest in your future?”

“Well… yes father… but I was thinking-”

“Good, I will contact the university, see what they can do and when you can start. Hopefully you can get in with the next semester starting over the summer… then when you’re all finished in a few years you can come and work for me at the office.”

And with that the conversation was over. Jeff walked down the stairs for the kitchen and John just sat there, unsure as to what just happened. He was sure something had as he could clearly feel his little bubble of hopes and dreams tinkle on the floor in tiny shards of glass.

***

John climbed over the rails of the balcony and carefully made his way along the roof of the second story of the house until he could sit down next to Scott, who was clearly well and truly off his head.

Scott was in the mood to laugh at anything. Right now he was laughing at the birds that had crashed into the glass windows on the story below his feet. He didn’t notice his younger brother sitting down beside him till he spoke.

“How do you smoke that?”

“If you're here to lecture me again-”

“No! I wanted to know if I could.. try some.” John interrupted quickly. He winced, waiting for his brother to hit him for asking something so stupid.

“Wait, you want some of this stuff?” Scott looked surprised, which is pretty hard for anyone who is thoroughly stoned. Curiosity got the better of him. “Why Johnny?”

“Thought I’d try and be.. You know… FUN.” John shrugged.

“F.U.N.”

“Yes Scotty.” John nodded slowly. “FUN.”

“Alright.” Scott handed him a weirdly shaped glass jar. “It’s already burning, you just have to breathe it in from this end here.”

“Oh.. ok… just like vapor right?”

“No, you inhale it… like this.” Scott showed John exactly how it was done and then breathed out casually, smoke coming from both his mouth and his nose. He looked pretty contented.

John tried to do the same. Scott had to hit his back rather hard to stop him from choking. John could had sworn his lungs were on fire.

Scott looked rather amused at his younger brother’s red face but tried not to laugh.

“How long does it take to kick in?” John coughed. Eventually he frowned as if he was struggling to think.

“The amount you just inhaled? Fast I should think.” Scott chuckled.

“You shirt has some really pretty patterns Scotty.” John poked them with one of his fingers. Scott could no longer contain himself. Watching his little brother half fried on just one go on the bong was too much for him. John- despite himself -started laughing along too.

“I guess you had been talking to dad again huh Johnny?”

“Huh?” John looked at his older brother as if he was someone else talking to him. He could have been as far as John was concerned after a second attempt at inhaling and trying to cough up his lungs.

“YOU … DAD… TALKED.” Scott said louder and spelling it out for him, in case the marijuana had completely destroyed his younger brother’s brain.

“Did you choose Yale… or did Dad pick it for you?”

“Who said I’m still at Yale?” Scott snorted. “I transferred to Oxford last summer.”

“You never said!?”

“Why should I? The other courses I needed were at the other university so I switched mid-term. Not going to matter anyway… I’m going to join the air force.”

John looked his brother and tried to work out why the hell Scott would want to make a decision like that. Scott was always highly brave, fearless and above all else, impulsive.

“Not just on a whim or anything?” John queried.

“Nope. Always wanted to fly a jet. Those things they got these days are so fast, break the sound barrier. To be able to fly free like a bird… that’s what I want to do.”

“Dad approved?”

Scott shrugged. “If he didn’t I don’t care, won’t stop me.”

“Wow… wish I could be like you Scott.”

“Pfft yeah right, you’re super smart, you can do anything you want. I’d kill to have your intelligence.”

John hugged his knees.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“Dad wants me to go to Harvard.”

Scott almost choked on his inhale. “You have got to be joking! They’d eat you alive there!”

“Gee thanks for the vote of confidence Scott.” John looked hurt. “I don’t know what to do. Finally dad’s proud of me for something….. But it’s not what I want at all.”

“What do you mean? Don’t you need mathematics degrees to be able to do things at NASA? I’m pretty sure science involves a ton of math.”

“I… I guess…”

“You guess?”

Suddenly, talking to Scott and smoking weed was not a great idea. John was starting to feel really sick but wasn’t sure if it was the marijuana or the fact this conversation was getting serious.

“He want’s me to be an accountant.”

Scott started laughing. “You have got to be joking! What the hell for?”

“For his company.”

“DUDE… you know that’s a lie right there. He’d get you all trained up, stick you in the company in a tiny little room where you won’t see any sunlight for years with no other way of getting out of it right?”

“It’s not funny Scotty, stop laughing!”

“It’s totally hilarious.” Scott sniggered before bursting at the seams with laughter. “I KNEW he’d never let you do what you wanted!”

John felt his heart breaking into two. He always did what was asked of him without question and for the first time he felt he was owed.

He grabbed the bong and threw it as far as he could off the roof of the house, off to the side where it smashed hard against the sharp rocks that surrounded the building.

Scott stood up fast and was about to give John a shove when John’s own body did it for him, the over balance he had from the throw and the fact his brain couldn’t calculate the right place to put his foot back on the sloped roof caused him to collapse and slide down the roof and almost right off onto the rocks himself, only managing to grab hold of the guttering to save himself from certain injury or possible death.

He tried to pull himself up, only to slip and end up dangling from the guttering with one hand. His heart was racing and his stomach was making everything vomit inducing. Scott’s arms eventually grabbed a hold of him and pulled him back upward to safety. John clung to his brother tight, head buried in Scott shirt. He was beyond terrified. Smoking all that pot had drained any ounce of bravado he may have usually had in this sort of situation and Scott was aware of it, holding onto him tightly back.

“You could always change mid year.” Scott said quietly after a while. “Dad can’t do anything once you're already over there you know? Just enroll, stay for a term, then drop out and do whatever you want to do. He can’t control everything in your life forever.”

“Maybe… maybe I’ll have to.”

“That’s the spirit. It’s not like you to be beaten. You will get what you want, stuff those who stand in your way.”

“Is that what you did?”

“Yeah. For once it’s your turn.”

“Thanks Scott.”

“No problem. I think it needed to be said, and you needed to hear it.”

***

Scott arrived at the apartment block in Florida and double checked the address. What a dump, he thought. Surely John can’t be living here. It had been months since he had seen his younger brother and when their father dropped the bomb about John no longer being in Harvard after two months, Scott got rather worried. He knew John wouldn’t have coped with the constant name dropping and snobbery at the place…. It was no place for his quiet, shy sibling to be. In one way Scott wondered if their father had sent John there on purpose to watch him break. It wouldn’t have been the first time he pushed his brother harder than he could handle.

Scott was hoping that despite no longer being a Harvard boy, his brother might have picked himself up, dusted off and gotten into another university or at least some no name college where he could study what he wanted in peace.

He could only hope.

The door he knocked on was answered by a young lady who looked surprised and then gave him the once over, checking him out.

“Why hello handsome! Who might you be?” she purred.

Another voice could be heard from inside.

“Who is it Vanessa?”

“Some really tall dark and handsome stranger.” she smiled at Scott.

Eventually, Scott got to see the face that belonged to the other voice. The young scruffy man seemed to recognize who he was.

“Hey, you’re one of Johnny’s brother’s right?”

“Umm.. hi?” Scott managed to say, still surprised. He vaguely could recall Virgil saying something about John having some pretty wild roommates.

“Which one are you? I mean, he has them coming out of the woodwork by the sounds of the phones calls he gets.” the girl called Vanessa smirked.

“His older one. I’m Scott.”

“This is Vanessa, I’m Nigel. We are his room mates.”

“I can see that. Is my brother here at all by any chance?”

“You just missed him, he left for work about twenty minutes ago.” the guy called Nigel answered.

“He’s got a job? He never told me.”

“There is probably a lot of things your brother hasn’t told you.” Vanessa winked. “He’s very… odd about keeping things to himself.”

“I wouldn’t call it odd… more like embarrassed that he has to work that kind of job to be able to pay rent.”

“Yeah well you would be too if you couldn’t get into a collage anywhere with his grades. It’s a darn shame really. I can’t understand why someone like him gets so many knock backs.”

Scott frowned. This was all new information, something his other siblings who had been talking to John had failed to mention, or rather, John had never spoken to them about.

“You wouldn’t happen to know where I can find him, would you by any chance?” he asked.

Both roommates hesitated, before Nigel responded. “We do… but you are not going to like it.”

“Just try me.”

***

“I’ll have you know Trev, not everyone who works here is gay, alright?”

“Sure, John. that’s why most of the fellas who work in this bar are all flirting with the patrons.”

John shuddered. This place, this job… made his skin crawl. He wasn’t about to give it up though. So far this was the only thing he had managed to get where his father’s name meant absolutely nothing and that his father wouldn’t even dare try to interfere and get him fired. So far every other job he had gone for had ended the same way and he was desperate for the money. The only downside was it was demeaning and John knew it was going to leave a horrible stain not only on himself, but his family name, his brothers… everything… if anyone found out about it.

Trevor, the bloke he was talking to was quite well built and had been oiled up so his muscles shone on his torso. “Look, tomorrow night is that big bachelorette party, something for you to look forward to! For now, let’s just get through the night with these big bears, ok? We are just the entertainment and we just go out there and put on a show and look good while we do it.” he ruffled John’s golden red hair. “You’ll be fine love. Besides, you’re on table duty tonight. The boss wouldn’t want you getting any of the ‘special attention’ in case she gets investigated by the police.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.” John looked a little shaken. He knew what ‘special attention’ meant around here and it made him feel sick. Trevor straightened the fox ears on John’s head, moved John’s head around to make sure all the makeup wasn’t smudged then slapped him on the bare shoulders.

“You’ll be fine. You’ve been here two-three weeks? You’ve got the hang of it pretty fast and know the drill better than anyone else who they’ve hired. Just go out there, serve drinks and smile, that’s all you have to do.”

Trevor then left the dressing room leaving John alone to look at his reflection in the mirror. Just how did it come to this? How could he have fallen so far from his father’s graces? Granted, he was never really seen as anything but invisible at the best of times but now…

He had lied to Gordon on the phone yesterday when he accidentally let it slip he had to go to work. Gordon was trying hard to cheer him up, remind him that without his help, he wouldn’t have won his gold medal at the Olympics. John had been there to watch, to cheer him on - but it had not been the same. He should have been there with the coaches as that’s what he really was for his little brother but their father had gotten in the way once again and John was lucky to be able to still watch from the stands.

Gordon thought of him as a mentor. John couldn’t let his brother know that he was a complete and utter failure.

John didn’t want any of his brothers to know. Sure he never tried to be perfect but they always thought of him pretty highly and the last thing he wanted was to disappoint them. They were the only thing that was keeping him sane, the one thing that made doing something so degrading and insulting bearable.

He took a deep breath, put on a brave face and a sly smirk, befitting his fox makeup and costume - or lack thereof - and walked out of the room and into the night club.

Scott slipped in the doorway and got a nod targeted at him from the bouncer watching the door. The place was full and the only way to move was to elbow your way around. He had been in a few seedy places before but this one took the cake. The poster out front advertised ladies nights and parties and even a night for the city's gay community, the club not shying away any possible clientele if it could make them a profit.

He made his way to the bar and ordered a drink to try to blend in. It was a hard thing to do. Most of the people in the club tonight were men - and some very manly looking woman- who were watching the floor show, which was supposed to be of some really attractive men doing a weird burlesque piece. Granted, Scott wouldn’t have felt uncomfortable if this was a strip joint and there were ladies pole dancing but the fact that it was blokes doing it made him rather unsettled.

A tall young waiter came up to the bar beside him, grabbed another tray of expensive looking drinks and Scott almost spat out his beer. The young man didn’t notice and Scott was in one way relived. It was John, painted up as a fox - ears, tail, hot-pants - the whole deal. His eighteen year old brother was a walking sex object. Scott watched him as he walked away to a table and was flirted with as he put down the drinks. His brother looked uncomfortable but was able to brush off any attempts to get him to sit on the guys laps.

Was it Virgil who said John had had a growth spurt since he had last seen him? He couldn’t remember…. His brother didn’t look as small and as lithe as he was a few months ago. Instead he was tall and far skinnier than Scott remembered…and far more nervous.

That was when Scott realised he wasn’t the only one watching his little brother. He noticed movement from a private booth in the far corner and a worried look from one of the other wait staff who was dressed like a rabbit.

There was a conversation between the rabbit waiter and his brother, then his brother came back towards the bar. Scott tried to look inconspicuous and was relived again that his brother was far too per-occupied to notice.

Scott waited till his brother had walked away before slowly following him, just enough so he could see what his brother was doing when he reached the booth…. when it all went pear shaped.

The three men at the booth pinned his brother down against the table and drew the private curtain. Scott was quick to get over to the corner and fling it open, grabbing the blokes and pulling them off his sibling, who was trying hard to fight them off and get free.

The scene didn’t go unnoticed, the bouncer was over within minutes and was dragging the trouble makers off towards the door, with Scott along with them.

John grabbed the big guy by the arm. “Michael! That’s my brother Scott! He was trying to protect me!”

The bouncer gave John a hard stare and then his expression softened. That was John for you, you couldn’t get mad at someone who was quiet and as harmless as he was. He let go of Scott and continued to shove the rest of the trouble out of the club.

John grabbed Scott by the arm and weaved his way out to the back of the club till they were in the safety of the dressing rooms.

“What the hell are you doing here!” John snapped, growling at his older brother. “How the hell did you find out about this?!”

“Your roommates told me were you worked.”

“They are SO DEAD.” John swore and then reality hit him. “I’m so dead…. Oh no..no no no no…”

John sat down, hugging himself. “No no no… this.. This can’t be happening, you can’t be here! If you are then… then dad knows! FUCK!”

Scott grabbed his brother by the shoulders and gave him a shake. “John! Calm down! It’s just me. I found out, not dad… though it’s going to be extremely hard to hide this from him….” Scott couldn’t think of what to say. His younger brother was clearly shaken by the very thought of discovery.

“I came to see how you were after Gordon told me you dropped out of Harvard. He said when dad found out he was furious and he was worried about you… and so am I.” He took a deep breath. “After seeing this… I think … I think I have every reason to agree with him.” he looked his brother in the eyes, something Scott usually tried not to do as John’s hazel green's reminded him so much of their mother…. But this time he needed his brother’s full attention and to reassure him that it was ok that he was scared and that he was there for him. “Why John? Why this?”

“Because I needed a job. No one would hire me.” John couldn’t hold his brother’s blue eyed gaze. It was uncomfortable, feeling like he was being judged. “Dad’s made sure that anything I’ve gone for I last no longer than a few days. I can’t even get into a single university in the States anymore….. He’s told them things… told them lies about me. This is all I could get… and I may not even be able to keep it once they realise I’m eighteen and not nineteen… not after this.” Tears rolled down his face, mixing with the makeup - streaking it everywhere.

“I have no future anymore Scotty… there’s nothing dad can take away anymore. I may as well just give up on trying to get that NASA internship I’ve tried to get for the past two months… they won’t take someone who can’t even get a single university qualification. It’s… it’s all gone.”

“You still have us Johnny.”

“For how long Scott? I used to get phone calls every day…. Now I’m lucky if it’s twice a week…. Dad doesn’t even speak to me and I get the feeling he doesn’t want anyone talking to me anymore. I’m more than just a disappointment.. I’m a failure as a son… and not even worth having as a brother.”

Scott wrapped his arms around his sibling, smearing paint all over his own clothes. He didn’t care, not when his brother was in tears. John rarely cried so Scott knew his brother had reached the end of his bravado and no longer cared who saw it.

“I promise to fix this John.” Scott said softly. “Out of everyone you deserve so much more. I promise you that much. I would be a lousy older brother if I couldn’t do something at all.” he held him tight as his brother’s body was shaking violently with sobs. Things could be a lot worse, Scott considered. At least he can get John out of this…. If it was a drug habit or something else he wouldn’t have known where to start. But this… this was easy. His brother needed a better line of work and something to look forward to… maybe there was something he could do about that.

***

It was a few weeks of hell, but Scott finally managed to find a university in Florida where his father had not gotten his tendrils into yet and they where more than ecstatic to get someone like his brother enrolled in Astrophysics, Advanced mathematics, Astronomy… the list of sciences went on. He had also spoken to the boss at John’s current work establishment, a charming lady who just called herself ‘Mistress’ and got his brother doing ladies nights only and doing some shows…. It wasn’t entirely much better but he knew his brother’s acrobatic skills he had picked up here and there from messing around the Gordon at the gym were at least put to good use.

John was very grateful too, and he let Scott know how much he appreciated it by splashing out every single cent he had on making fancy dinners and things as there wasn't much else he could do. In the end Scott had to pull him aside and get him to stop and start putting money into paying for his university studies.

One afternoon, Scott was flicking through John’s mail, hoping to see a letter from the university that would let John start so late in the term and get him out of the night club work for good. That is till he saw something marked from NASA.

“Hey John, you might want to have a look at this one.” Scott waved it around and playfully tried to stop his brother from taking it off him. It was half hearted as he too wanted to know what was in the envelope.

John grabbed it, opened it and started to read. Scott realised that it must be good news as his younger sibling, while very good at hiding his emotions had a tiny hint of excitement flicker across his features. Scott would have missed it is he wasn’t used to trying to read his little brother, something he had gotten rather good at over the years. It wasn’t as if he didn’t show any emotion other than stoic seriousness, it was just they were so quick, so fleeting that you’d miss them. The downside of being the quiet one he guessed.

“Anything good?”

John handed him the letter and smiled. “Yeah…. Very. Still have to work but maybe only enough to cover living expenses for a few more months.”

Scott took the letter and read it himself. “Well I’ll be. Congratulations little brother, you're officially a member of NASA.”

“Well an intern anyway, let’s not get too ahead of ourselves Scott.”

Scott looked at his sibling with a new sense of respect. Not that there was any doubt John wouldn’t eventually figure out what he wanted, he just really needed the help to get there.

“Internships lead to full employment and that’s the best part of this little piece of news.”

“Yeah… I guess you're right.” John hugged his older brother. “Thank You Scott.”

“You're welcome. Don’t you ever forget despite how big a pain in the arse father might be, you still have me and your brothers to fall back on… well me at least. We don’t always see things the same way but you know that I’ve always been proud of you… I mean how many people have a brother who knows every single star in the sky, can run rings around you when it comes to maths and still wants to look after his other siblings? I can tell you it’s few and far between.”

“Thank you Scott.”

“Just do me proud ok John? And maybe stop giving a shit about what Father thinks. What was it you said when we were smoking weed on the roof… oh god that feels like a long time ago..”

“Wouldn’t have a clue Scott. I was as stoned as you were.”

“Yeah and if Kayo didn’t join us out there after you almost fell and then almost taking a dive herself we’d probably still be on the roof right now doing the same thing.”

“Or worse.”

Scott laughed. “Maybe. Glad I got that act of rebellion out of my system. Can’t be a stoner if I want to fly a jet plane.”

“So what made you stop in the end anyway?”

“Kayo’s dad threatening to tell our father kind of did the trick… that and I was made to help him with the gardens for a few weeks. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get the smell of fertilizer and horse shit off your clothes let alone your hands?”

This made his brother laugh and Scott let out a contented sigh. That’s better, hearing his brother happy was well worth admitting to a moment of humiliation. Virgil and Alan were not the only ones who could get a chuckle out of mum’s little angel. Scott would never let anyone tell him otherwise either. Sure there were times John and himself needed each other like a hole in the head but his little brother was a beacon of hopes and dreams, while he was the one of drive and ambition - they complimented each other as much as they rebuffed- and they needed each other to get through some of the hardest choices they’ve had to make so far in their lives. Scott silently hoped that that would be the case for many more years to come.

Who cares John didn’t get a Harvard degree or something from another fancy university…. But he was going to really show that he didn’t HAVE to. Scott was getting light headed about the little mind games this was going to play out once their father found out. Hopefully their old man stays out of this one… otherwise Scott WILL have something to say about it. John wasn’t the only person their father hated getting into arguments with after all - Scott was just far better at picking fights he knew he could win. Sure, John was the one that was always on a tight leash but it could have been far worse if Scott hadn’t kept stepping in over the years and arguing with their father about leaving his brother alone to just do his own thing. It had not always worked out but at least one thing Scott fought for was still in tact for now… the fact his brother could rely on him to be there was a fight worth having.

PRESENT DAY 

"John, John? Oh shit....come on kid."

John stirred, waking up on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor wasn't exactly pleasant though he has to admit the chillness was mildly appreciated after what his body just went through. He was greeted by a hologram leaning over him of his brother Scott, who was still looking pretty good pushing fifty.

"I'm not...a kid anymore, Scott."

"You still are to me." The hologram snorted. it attempted to help pick him up and got frustrated that he really couldn't. "Fuck I hate holograms. Rather be there in person."

John rolled over and looked up the ceiling. "Ok, EOS, you can shut it off. I know it's you."

The hologram projection looked stunned and EOS's child-like voice filtered through. Eventually the hologram flickered off.

"Sorry John, just thought you'd might want to see a friendly face." she said, a pang of guilt in her reply. "How did you know it was me?"

"Because Scott and I haven't spoken in five years. Gordon in two since he's on fucking Mars and Penelope utterly hates my utter guts -"

"What about Virgil? Pretty sure you've spoken to him in the past four months." EOS said in a chipper tone.

"Only to talk business for parts for Thunderbird Four." John reminded her. "If it wasn't for that he'd want to see the back of me just like everyone else."

He picked himself off the floor and caught his reflection in the dusty mirror. He was badly shaven, bleeding from a cut to the lip and looked like death had walked over to him, shook his hand and left him an IOU.

A collection of bad luck, bad habits, bad attitude and general BAD stared back at him. The only thing he had managed to maintain remotely was his hair and even then... that needed a serious cut. Maybe he could just take a razor to it all...

"What about Alan? Can I use his hologram?"

John gripped the sides of the sink. "Rather you didn't EOS. Like Scott I haven't spoken to Alan in five years, just not for the same reasons." It was because he was too afraid to face him, the one person who he would do absolutely anything for as he pretty much was his hero most of his life. To know that he could have let his brother down the same way he had let down Scott and Virgil and to an extent, Gordon and Kayo, it tore a massive crater in his heart.

Just then an alarm went off. "EOS, what is it?"

"There's been an chemical truck knocked off the road in Siberia around a rocky cliff pass. The conditions are very poor and rescuers will not be able to get to them in the blizzard."

"FAB, EOS."

"John are you sure you can do this? I can notify the GDF."

John had already started making a run for it as fast as his battered and beaten body could go. He took the chute down to Thunderbird one, was kitted up and already in the cock-pit ready to launch.

"Patch me the location, EOS, We've got a job to do." he said, a real smile crossing his face for the first time in days as the count down commenced.

FLASH BACK (original here)

Virgil needed some inspiration. Under his university workload he had become creatively stagnant and was dying for a challenge to re-spark his imagination again. Drawing didn't work, doing sculptures out of leftover machine parts from his practical engineering work didn't seem to do it and he was starting to get a little desperate. He needed something new to do.

At least once a week he got a phone call from his two older brothers and his two younger siblings, though not always on the same night, just to see how he was going with his studies. Scott's talks were always short and sweet and to the point, phone calls from US Air-force bases were always monitored for security and kept on a timer to prevent personnel from giving away the base's locations and other information Scott thought was a lot of rubbish.

Gordon's were usually along the lines of general chatter, because he missed having Virgil around to be a goofball with and usually had some new prank he had pulled on Alan and subsequently Alan was always jumping in on the same line begging for Virgil to come home. It was normal from the youngest, as Virgil had found out from both Scott and John that he begged them as well to hurry up and come home for the holidays every time he got the chance. Virgil thought it was funny how much the little guy missed them.

Currently, he was on the phone to John who was calling from his shared apartment near Cape Kennedy. They were usually late at night from his brother's end due to John trying to avoid having the only time he got with his brother on the line interrupted by the idiots he lived with. Once, Virgil swore he could hear a wild party in the background but after about an hour has suspected it might have been something else as occasionally his brother went red in the face from some of the sounds coming from one of the other rooms. Virgil found it amusing that John put up with it but wasn't too surprised as he knew his brother missed the noise of his own siblings when he was away from home, a house with four other brothers was never quiet or dull.

For a change, there wasn't any loud music in the background and his brother looked rather happy to finally have peace and quiet so he could enjoy having a proper chat.

“You look burned out Virgil, are you sure everything is going along alright?”

“Burned out isn't the word, John.” Virgil admitted with a heavy shrug. “I feel drained. I haven’t felt able to relax in months, even in my usual ways.”

“No time to paint huh?”

“Well, yes and no. More like after staring at technical diagrams, drawing technical diagrams, learning advanced mechanics and electrical robotics has sort of drained the creativity out of it.” Virgil scratched his head. On the other side of the video phone, his older brother looked a little concerned.

“Hey, how about you come up here and stay for the weekend?” John asked, with a hint of a smile.

“Won't your house mates mind?”

“Not likely. I'm having to look for new ones. It's dead quiet around here since they moved out last week.” Ah, so that's why it's so quiet over the phone Virgil realised.

“Both of them?”

John nodded. “Nigel moved out with his new girlfriend and Vanessa's gone backpacking around the world because her job gave her the heave-ho and she had been hanging around here for the past month struggling to find work. In a way I’m glad they're gone, no more picking up their trash to find my own stuff in this place... but I also do however miss the noise.”

“Since when do you clean up anything?”

“I know right? I have no idea what's wrong with me. Don't tell Grandma otherwise she'd make me clean my room over the holidays next time we are home. I’m not joking about the lack of noise. Sure Nigel bringing home random girls he met at the local bar where he worked was annoying but wouldn't have been much different if we all grew up like normal people who didn't live isolated on an island most of our lives.” John seemed to smile which in turn made Virgil relax a little more. Truth be told, Virgil's dorm companions could have been more lively but instead he was trapped sharing a place with the most boring people on the planet.

“You sure your not too busy at NASA to put up with me for two days?” Virgil asked.

John shook his head. “They just finished up a test flight of a new experimental rocket on Thursday so for now I’m not doing very much.” he visibly yawned and stretched. “Won't be for at least a week I think, since I’m not required on the project anymore until it's maiden voyage.”

“Really?” Virgil sounded interested.

“To dad's old moon base and back, basic simple stuff, if it makes it that far. They are not very creative with their test paths.” John seemed to find it amusing. “Look, pack a change of clothes, some of your art stuff and I'll pick you up tomorrow afternoon after your last lecture. Make sure it can fit into a back pack, otherwise it won't be able to fit.”

“Won't be able to fit? How small is your car?” Virgil then hesitated. “Aren’t you going to pick me up from the airport in a taxi?

John laughed. “I don't have a car Virgil. I ride a motorbike. Don't tell Gordon otherwise he's going to want one too. I heard what he did to dad's friends butler when he was taken out for a driving lesson, and I'd hate to think what he'd be like on a motorcycle.”

“You still haven’t answered how you're going to travel all that way to Denver in less than a day.”

“The new sky pass Virgil. They finished building it a few years ago, it turns the one day journey by road into a few hours drive. It's only designed for light passenger vehicles because of the weight limits the road can handle. I guess since you haven’t needed to drive that far you haven’t noticed all these weird little motor ways that just cut right across and go direct into the cities.

“Fair enough.” Virgil seemed satisfied with the answer. He has suspected John had thought about this prior to asking him to visit anyway but it was nice to know for his own curiosity. “My last lecture finishes just after one thirty in the afternoon, so I'll meet you out front of the university campus.”

“No worries, Virgil. See you then.”

Virgil hung up the video phone and leaned back on his bunk and stared at the ceiling. Hopefully spending time with John would get him out of his creative rut. He knew he could sure so with sometime away from his studies, it wasn't as if he had to concentrate on producing a thesis or anything since all his work was more hands on and could only really be done in the classrooms.

Friday afternoon couldn't have come fast enough. Virgil's last lecture was on thermodynamics and engineering in regards to light engine aircraft had been more or less a snoozefest but he knew there was a high chance of failure if he didn't waste time taking notes for a test that would be down the line in the near future. He was relived to get out of there and hurried down to the front of the building, where he noticed a small crowd outside the front who seemed to be gawking at something.

As he got closer he could see what it was they were all staring at. Some guy was standing a little way away near a ancient, but well looked after antique of a motorbike, talking away with a student Virgil knew from one of his mechanics classes. Antique in the way that it still had two wheels still on terra-firma, as most motorbikes made after 2048 were all wheel-less and hovered above the ground. A lot of cars did to, with the exception of luxury makes like Ferrari and the British Roll Royce. It took a few more minutes for him to realise the driver had spotted him and was waving. Surely that can't...

 

“Virgil! Over here!”

Virgil had to shake himself out of his stunned state before heading over toward his brother, whom he had failed to recognise on sight for the first time in his life. It had only been the night before they last spoke but now it seems he didn't know the complete stranger in front of him. For the first time, Virgil was on the receiving end of a brotherly hug from his tallest sibling, because Virgil still couldn't get the idea out of his head that John looked like like he escaped from some old 1990's action movie.

Styles had really not changed much for motorcyclists in the clothing department other than becoming more sleeker and breathable and this made his brother look like a really skinny stork. He seemed oblivious to all the stares he was getting, especially those of the female persuasion who liked a bad boy on a bike but then John was only trying to focus on his brother, an old habit he had when dealing with large groups of people.

“You expect me to get on the back of that death trap on wheels?” Virgil gave his brother a worried look.

“I rode it all the way here didn't I?” his brother grinned. “I distinctly remember two younger siblings who used to tell me I was stuffier than a starched shirt, that I should live a little.”

“But that's practically an antique! It's older than dad!” Virgil exclaimed.

“No, dad is still older than it by maybe twelve or so years.. look what's your problem and why are you acting all weird about it?”

“Oh I uh... you know how it is...” Virgil looked embarrassed. “You don't usually picture your older, nerdier brother doing something so cool as riding a motorbike older than he is.”

John seemed to think about it. “Nope, can't imagine. Mostly because I’m not one iota envious of Scott. Being sent out to do some service for another country in case there will be another world war doesn't sound like something that would interest me. There hasn't been a global conflict for a long time and I’m mighty grateful of that. However I still can't quite understand why we need a military when we have a global defense force now which are like a giant form of international police. Hasn't anyone heard of the saying, 'those who seek war, prepare for war'? Or is that just me?”

Virgil gave John another hug, this time with a great deal more enthusiasm. “Damn I missed you and your utter terrible logic.”

“Come on, we better get going.” John patted his brother on the back for him to let go. “Want to get to Knoxville at least by dinnertime so we can take a break before going the rest of the way.”

“Sounds good to me.” Virgil grinned as he let his brother go. “Oh by the way, I don't have any more lectures till Wednesday, If you still have the time off, I could stay until the Tuesday and maybe fly back.”

“Sounds like an idea, Virgil. 'Cept maybe I’ll bike us back on the Tuesday instead, that way we have a whole day to detour and do fun stuff.”

“Deal.” Virgil thought to himself that if this all goes well, maybe he'd ask to visit John on his birthday next month, as John had a tendency to never miss any of theirs but completely forget about his own.

John handed Virgil a jacket and helmet. “You're going to need these.”

Virgil looked at the jacket. “You sure it's going to fit? Looks tight.”

“Just put it on Virgil.” John rolled his eyes. “I'm not Gordon, I know clothes need to fit other people.”

Virgil slipped the jacket on and it fitted snugly like a nice pair of gloves. He had to hand it to his brother, John had a tendency to know more about them than they did about him. Stopping at Knoxville was the icing on the cake as a lot of Virgil's favorite musicians came from there. Clearly his brother had missed him since the last time they got to hang out and was trying to make up for it by doing something with him he liked.

Most of the ride towards Knoxville was pretty a cruise, the new skyway pretty free of large and heavy traffic. Virgil enjoyed watching things zip by beneath them as the road was clear under them as the traveled, a bit like a glass bottomed boat and you could see the tops of trees, houses and even the ground based motorways. He often wondered what the maglock express ways were like, the newest and fastest trains on the planet that they were currently in the middle of building across Europe. They where said to be faster than a bullet train but not as fast as the speed of sound as they still had not worked out how to prevent motion related illnesses that were the results of super high speed travel.

He noticed other motorcycles pass them and smaller cars, none of them had any wheels and all hovered inches off the ground and the stares of people in the passenger seats or at the select few traffic stops they got, some of them in surprise that what they were riding was considered road worthy, while others were impressed to see something so old going for a spin.

Virgil had only ever been in their father's bi-plane before and had refused a ride in Scott's jet unless it was for a lift back home. If he was going to fly, it would be on his own terms and in his own aircraft he decided so he had been trying to get his pilot’s license in his spare time. Flying a single engine light aircraft however didn't seem to match the feeling of what it was like hanging into his brother for dear life on the back of the motorbike. In the same way a car or a plane became almost an extension of yourself the more you got in control of the vehicle, the motorbike was like an extension of his brother, one that didn't have much between you, other motorists and certain death. There was a massive thrill in it that he couldn't describe. No wonder John owned one.

Family illness, John always laughed about it as if it was huge joke. Stupidity and the thrill of danger of the unknown was a family trait, something they all shared to various degrees and to an extent both Virgil and John's idea of thrill seeking adventure was pretty tame compared to the rest of the family.

The stop over at Knoxville involved a good old fashioned steak house, although John ordered the only chicken thing on the menu after he saw another customers steak which he said he could still hear it 'moo.' Virgil didn't mind a bit of blood in his but he wouldn't have eaten it as blue as this other customer had. The conversation was pretty animated, though one sided as John just asked about what Virgil was studying, how he was finding it.. all the usual rubbish you do when you have a basic catch up with someone. It was a nice feeling because rarely Virgil ever had someone take an interest in him or what he was doing with himself and being able to voice his feelings on practically everything felt rather good.

Afterwards they had a tour of the town so Virgil could do all the usual touristy things and take pictures of all the places Virgil's favourite singers and songwriters started out before they started on the final stretch towards Cape Kennedy in Florida.

By the time they reached John's apartment it was almost midnigh, and yet Virgil didn't seem to care. Despite the travel he had a pretty good day and had even found time to let himself enjoy everything around him. He needed that inspiration hit and he clearly got it that evening. John wasn't too ceremonious when it came to showing Virgil around the apartment either, he just let him explore it at his own leisure and choose where he wanted to have a sleeping bag laid out for him since there were now two spare rooms in which he could stay.

Virgil saw some magazines on the coffee table and pushed them around before picking one up to flick through.

“What's with all the Tattoo magazines, John?” he eventually asked once his brother entered the living space, dressed in a baggy top which hid his boxer shorts beneath them.

“Oh those? I've been meaning to get one, but I can't seem to find anything I like.”

“You want one?”

John shrugged. “I've always wanted one.” He headed into the kitchen and there was a distinct click as a kettle was flicked on. “Want anything?”

“Just a coffee.” Virgil called back. In the kitchen he could hear voices and came to the conclusion John was just playing video phone messages that had been left on the machine. There were a few female voices, some male and eventually one he recognised. Then he could hear his brother mutter, “Pete's sake, Gordon! I haven’t even read the stuff you've sent this morning and you've left sixteen bloody messages asking me about it! Can't you spell check your own homework?”

Virgil found himself smiling, trying not to laugh. Still the same old Gordon, still the same old John.

The magazines had been giving him some ideas however. He had never tried his hand at tattoo design before, usually finding it a wasted art for many talented people who could be doing something pretty amazing with their skills. Now for some reason it seemed really inviting, maybe it had something to do with how much he enjoyed the trip on the motorbike, he didn't really know... but he had the desire to try and do one. He looked up when a coffee was held in front of him and took it gratefully.

“Sorry about that.” John ungracefully flopped on the chair beside him with mug of tea, spilling it a little as he did so. “I guess I won't be sleeping tonight if Gordon's as desperate as he sounds. He shouldn’t leave his homework to last minute and then expect me to find all his mistakes.” He propped his feet up on the coffee table, something he would usually get into trouble for at home.

He craned his head to see what had caught his younger brother's eye. “See something in there you like?”

“I was just thinking I needed something different to try art wise.” Virgil didn't look up from the pages he seemed to be studying with great interest. “I can see why you want one, these space tattoos look really pretty.”

“Yeah, sadly the colours that those ones have have to be re-done every few months and I don't think I’m willing to go through all that just to prevent the colours mixing together.” Virgil was a little surprised at how much his brother had really thought about it,but then he was fully aware like their parents, there were many sides to John, quite a lot of it went unnoticed because of how much he didn't really talk about himself. Virgil wasn't too much different, keeping a lot of things he did to himself also but he didn't have the wild streak as bad as his older brother that seemed to have blossomed now that he wasn't living at home. It had been there a long time, little bits of it showed here and there when they spent time together at home and with their other siblings though this was the first time Virgil was seeing it full in the face, free and unchained from the restrictions of being the responsible child in the family and the one most under their father's scrutiny.

Virgil often wondered what it felt like being the one under the most pressure of being seen as something your not. In away he had a lot more freedom to do what he wanted with himself, if he threw his whole career out the window to live in Venice as an artist no one would bat an eyelid. Maybe that's really what bothered Virgil... no one would mind not matter what he did.

“Hey, did I say something wrong? You look like you've just found a thunderstorm in your coffee.”

“Hmm?” he looked up and realised his brother looked rather worried about him. “Sorry, I  think I’m just tired.”

“Sure well,  I won't keep you.” John seemed a little disappointed, it wasn't often he got to talk to Virgil about something they both had an interest in. They talked very little at all to start with and John really wanted to try and fix that. Sure, Alan and Gordon both worried the hell out of him most of the time but at least they openly talked about what was eating them when they felt down in the dumps. Virgil didn't and was the kind of person to let it sit like a rock in the back of his brain until John had to pry open his own Pandora's box of emotions, something that never worked out well for John afterwards.

Virgil glanced back up as he watched his brother get up and head for his room. Maybe he shouldn't have brushed him off like he had. After all, John was only trying to help.

***

Virgil was woken up by the sound of the video phone in the spare room he was sleeping in. Rentals these days were all wired up to every room in the house to one, something Virgil thought must be for convenience or at the very least, for the annoyance of the people living in it. After a few rings that clearly were going to go unanswered, Virgil sat up in his sleeping bag and picked up the call.

“Virgil? What are you doing at John's place?”

“Gordon? What time of the day do you call this?”

“Uh it's mid afternoon on a Sunday Virgil.”

It took a few minutes for Virgil to register Gordon was calling from home. Being closer to Australia and New Zealand meant they were at least roughly a day ahead of where he was in America.

“I'm just visiting to get away from University.” Virgil admitted.

“That's great, John could really use the sanity of another person.” Gordon joked. “Speaking of which, where is he? I got his email with the corrections to my essay and I was not happy being called out for plagiarism. I didn't. It's just the fact that this particular subject hasn't got any other references to use other than one major source and it's not like I can go under the sea to conduct research on the subject myself.”

“What's the subject?”

“The life cycle of a giant squid. Most of it is all speculation and theory anyway, they are just basing all facts on what their smaller cousins are like without really bothering with the fact something so huge could possible have a completely different evolutionary way of life.”

“Who does he say you plagiarized?”

“Mum apparently.” Gordon looked as if he was bristling with underlying rage. “He said I must have read and used all her notes that she had from years ago but I wouldn't have a clue how, all of mum's work was locked off in the observatory on the other side of the house and we are forbidden from going in there, So I don't understand why he thinks I have.”

Virgil shrugged. “If he thinks you have, then you have. I wouldn't question it.”

“Ugh, thanks a lot for taking his side Verge.” Gordon rolled his eyes, before hanging up the video phone on his end. Gordon was becoming a bit of a horror since he no longer had his older brothers around to keep him in line. Virgil was beginning to feel sorry for Alan who was stuck there with him without the option of being able to leave whenever he wanted.

Virgil stripped himself out of his sleeping bag and pulled on a t-shirt and headed for John's room. The door was wide open and John was sitting asleep with his head on his desk with the holographic screen of his computer still flicking away. Gordon's essay was still open on the desktop with hundreds of little red notes all over it. Sometimes he wondered why John bothered losing sleep over helping them at times, Virgil was aware there were moments where it was a completely thankless and unappreciated job. The tiny little room wasn't much different from the mess his real room was back at home, with the exception that at least here you could see the floor. Paperwork was everywhere, from massive pages of text to technical drawings of satellites, rockets and other space designed craft like rovers.

There were also hundreds of photographs, a lot of them of different star systems taken with telescopes and then there were these....

Even though he wasn't living at home, you couldn't take family away from him. Virgil smiled when he saw a photo of all of them that was taken at Alan's ninth birthday party.

John as usual wasn't in it, being the one who took the photo, however just by looking at it and how much fun they had that day it must have meant a lot to him.

Virgil turned off the holoscreen and as he did so a hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.

“Don't touch my stuff.” John mumbled, still half asleep. Virgil almost burst out laughing, as this was a reaction that was usually in response to Gordon trying to steal John's music CDs back at home.

“Gordo called, you just missed him.”

“Hmm? Oh, sorry Virgil.” John let go and let out a yawn. “What time is it?”

“Time you learned not to sleep at your desk. I can't believe you still do this.”

“And I can't believe you're on my case about it still. What did shark bait want?”

“Mostly to yell at you for pretty much declaring he was plagiarizing mum's work.”

“Well he was, just because she never published it doesn't mean he can use it for his own gains.” John stood up and stretched. “How do you feel about a walking tour today? There's some pretty great arcades down along the beaches just west of here.”

“So no biking around today?”

John yawned again. “Heck no, I couldn't drive in a straight line if I tried.” he smiled.

Virgil loitered around the kitchen while his brother cooked, reading the fridge magnets and looking at the photographs that were pinned under them. One read 'I pretended to be normal once, it got boring so I turned back' and under it was a photo that made Virgil chuckle. He made sure John wasn't watching before slipping it into his own wallet. He might be able to do something with it later, his brother won't miss it surely?

Virgil had to admit he felt a little strange having John making him breakfast, as usually it was their littlest brother Alan who was sitting in the kitchen, asking for pointers on how to cook things when he had to spend the day on his own. The thought was pushed aside when he remembered it wasn't Alan who liked pancakes, rather Belgium waffles and that they were being made specifically for him. Despite being the one who babied the littlest in the family obsessively, John did have a tendency to transfer that overly protective behavior to his other siblings from time to time whenever he felt they needed it. If he was doing it subconsciously, then clearly Virgil must be showing signs that he needed some sort of comfort or assurance.

He should just give in an relax and let John just do what he does but he can't find it in himself to do so, even if his brother just needed someone to dote over for a while. The conversations they had with their father about it seemed to spring to mind, that they all should act their ages and that John either had to stop smothering them or he would force him to. It was fine when they were little but now it had to stop. Virgil never understood why it was ok for him to have feelings about his brothers and not for John. Dad had to have his reasons, whatever they were.

“You're deep in thought this morning.” John said after a while, watching his brother randomly poke at the pancakes placed in front of him.

“Was just thinking I might go down the beach and see if I can drum up some inspiration to draw.” Virgil lied.

“So no arcade then?”

“No, I think it might do me some good to wander around on my own a bit... you know to get my thoughts in order. I don't get the time to stretch my legs back at the university.”

“That's... that's alright.” John's enthusiasm suddenly died. Virgil didn't want to have to disappoint his older sibling but he also didn't want to fall back into old habits of being treated like a little kid. He watched his brother stand up and grab a small data hub from the bench and bring it to the table. Once activated it showed a map of the surrounding area.

“Take this with you when you go out. It'll stop you getting lost.”

“Thank you John. I appreciate it.”

“It's no problem Virgil.”

The rest of the meal was eaten in silence, Virgil taking care not to show that he was feeling guilty of just brushing his brother off after his offer of hospitality. It was for each other's own good, Virgil for his own independence and John for whatever it was it was supposed to be good for.

Afterwards, Virgil was tucking his sketch gear into his backpack when John appeared around the door. “Are you sure you don't want company at all Virgil?” he asked.

“Positive. Maybe we can do all that stuff tomorrow?”

“Sure, take care then.”

Virgil didn't even look up to see where John went after that. He picked himself up and headed out the front door and towards the stairwell and didn't pause until he felt the sun on his face outside. He knew after the great afternoon yesterday he was being a bit of a jerk but no one said he had to spend quality time with anyone while he was down here.

Long after Virgil had left, John had very little to do. He sat at his desk fiddling with a pen trying to work out why his little brother had a sudden change of tune. He was all for having fun the day before but whatever was eating him up inside must have come back after he had gone to bed last night. Sometimes, Virgil didn't make any sense to him.

It wasn't just him, however, even Gordon and Alan were acting odd when he spoke to them these days. The only person to be remotely civil was Scott and that was because his older brother would rather be spending time with him than being out in the middle of the desert doing drills. He and Scott may not always have got along at the best of times but at least he wouldn't say no to a game at the arcade.

The video phone started to ring, and John half heartedly answered.

“Hey how's my 'star man' doing?”

“Morning Scott.” John sat himself upright and tried to look a little more dignified which was hard to do in his over sized shirt he wore as PJ's. “How's Syria?”

“Ridiculously dry.” Scott answered. “Far worse than the summers dad decided to take us on vacation to Australia.”

John found himself smiling. Right now any sort of small talk would cheer him up. Scott couldn't talk about what he was doing with the air force but at least the general chit chat kept the both of them reasonably sane while they were apart.

“Gordon told me you've got a visitor?”

“If you'd call Virgil a visitor.” John sighed. “We had a lot of fun when I picked him up yesterday and just all of a sudden he just... I don't know... changed on me?” John frowned. “I don't understand, I must have said or done something wrong but I can't think of anything.”

“Do you think something's bothering him?”

“I didn't think so until this morning. When I invited him here I knew he was overworked from his studies. Maybe that's just it?”

Scott seemed to think about it, his expression ever thoughtful on the screen. “Maybe. I was never good at reading either of you. Unlike Alan and Gordon neither of you wear your emotions on your faces.”

“I take that as a compliment.”

“I shouldn't if I was you.” Scott grinned shaking his head.

“Ah you're just saying that.” John waved it off. “But seriously, something is going on, Not just with Virgil either. Gordon's acting nasty and Alan... he used to visit every weekend last year and suddenly just stopped. He acts like nothing is different but he doesn't talk about the stars and movies and games like he used to.”

“Are you sure it's not them deciding to grow up a little?” Scott raised an eyebrow. “Eventually they will all outgrow you and I, John. Has to happen sometime.” Scott paused before adding. “I do find it a little strange about Alan though. I remember how much he missed you on his birthday this year and was devastated you had to leave again. He's still little after all.”

“That’s what makes me think something is wrong.”

“Alright John, I'll try and do some investigating of my own. Anyway, I wanted to ask how your last job went?”

“Pretty good, the SS Andromeda was going through it's final checks last time I checked in a few days ago. She's a beauty Scott, the sleekest streamline spaceship they've made to date. Just waiting on who they're going to choose to fly it on it's maiden voyage. Who ever it is going to be is going to really make it into the history books.”

“You sound as if you're hoping that it'll be you going up there.” Scott joked.

“I wish, although I’ve done all the training.” John smiled wistfully. “I'm the youngest they have so I doubt I’d get selected for a solo flight. They'll probably wait till I’m far older.”

Scott laughed. “Can you wait that long to be a space cowboy?”

“Not really.” John felt himself go red with embarrassment. “I've always wanted to reach out and touch them. I know I'd be burned alive if I could but it's the idea that keeps me going.”

The two of them talked well into lunch time and long into the afternoon. Scott was more than happy to hold on the line just for someone for John to interact with as it seemed like his little brother needed it. He also hoped Virgil eventually came around to spending time with John, Scott did worry about his brother all alone in Florida when he clearly needed the company of his siblings to keep him emotionally in check.

Down the beach, Virgil spent the day staring at a blank page. There was lots of people, lots of beautiful sites around the town and he still couldn't find anything inspiring to put onto paper. He pulled out the picture he nicked off John's fridge that morning and felt a strong pang of guilt about ditching his brother when the guy was only trying to seek out his company. Eventually he found the pencil in his left hand wandering around the page, scribbling aimlessly until he realised he was drawing his older brother the way he had found him that morning, sleeping at his desk. Virgil enjoyed drawing his brothers, usually from photographs as it was impossible to get any of them to sit still long enough to pose,and it never occurred to him that they were all pictures John had taken until now. He wondered why he never had sketched his brother as it had never occurred for him to do before.

He always found his brothers interesting subjects, each one displaying a particular strength or emotion that came through brilliantly on paper, from Scott's heroism, Gordon's love of action and excitement and Alan's curious nature all provided him with ideal subjects to play with. Looking at his sketch he realised John had a whole lot more there he had not explored.

Virgil flicked to the next page and doodled some more sketches of his brother, one with him as he remembered sitting on the couch, dressed in his ridiculous sleepwear and then another of him in his motorbike gear, one relaxed and dreamlike, the other brimming with a silent sense of confidence in oneself. He was quite pleased with them and when he decided he'd been out in the sunshine long enough he headed back.

John wasn't there when he walked in, however there was a note on the table addressed to him.

'Gone down to the arcade just to get out of the joint for a bit. Feels like a prison cell you know? Anyway, hope you're feeling up to Indian food tonight, going to be bringing some home. - John.'

Prison cell huh? John used to refer the house at home to one when their father was around. In the last year before he was at university, their father seemed to be unimpressed with the way John was turning out as a son. Virgil wasn't sure why. It wasn't as if John had a drug problem or ever asked their father for money. If anything he was the ideal child, always looking out for his brothers and never taking anything for granted, always thinking about other people before himself. He couldn't think of a single occasion where he didn't. If he was feeling like his own personal space was like that then something had to be bothering him. Maybe Virgil had been a bit too harsh on him or his brother was just over reacting. John did have a tendency to be overly sensitive about things.

Hours past and eventually John returned, unceremoniously dropping the take out he brought on the coffee table.

“Loose to the claw machine huh?” Virgil joked, trying to lighten the mood. He knew his brother was obsessed with those types of skill games and had gotten to the point where he made them look too easy.

“Nah, I have played them all before. They still haven't got anything new in them. Wasted most of my quarters on the video games down there... they aren't that fun without anyone to play against.” he dug through the bags and pulled out a box with some strange curry-like substance in it. “Spoke to Scott today, Says he's in Syria.”

“How's his Arabic ?” Virgil grinned.

“Terrible as usual but you can't tell him that.” John seemed to finally smile. “Oh I also got some really good news from NASA, figured you'd be the first and only one to hear it!”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah they finally got a launch day and have selected who they are going to fly it!” John sounded excited. He had sat forward and looked really enthusiastic. John and anything to do with space was a match made in heaven when it came to seeing his brother really glow.

The video phone rang however this time it was on an audio line only. It had to be dad. He never spoke to John via video link since he left the island. John joked and said it was because he saw him enough on the holidays but the truth was far more hurtful than that.

“Oh man, just when I finally had something good happen today..” John groaned getting up to answer it in the kitchen, leaving Virgil to enjoy his dinner. Virgil pulled out his sketch book and flicked through the drawings he had done today, hoping that maybe John would like them as much as he did. He opened to another blank page and started to sketch John while he was one the phone.

“Hi father we were just... We? I have Virgil around for the weekend... what? Because I asked him to, I even picked him up myself. No we're not having wild parties, I told you that was my roommates and not me. Uh huh... wait, Alan did what? You're kidding me! Is he alright? I can be there first thing in the morn- oh hang on what? Why? That makes no sense, how is it my fault?”

Virgil lowered his pencil and his gaze held John's for a few minutes, till his brother seemed to regain his composure. Virgil had learned along time ago that while other people struggled to find John a hard person to get along with, he was really quick to keep his emotions in check - otherwise he was in danger of exposing how vulnerable he was to the world. He still in a way, wore his heart on his sleeves like everyone else, just far better at hiding it.

Virgil couldn't help get the feeling something horrible had been said as all the joyous outward display his brother had was gone.

“I see. Well I can't really... oh I could have not shown him how to in the first place? That's a bit rich. No I'm sorry, I didn't mean... alright I'll tell Virgil. That's fine. Are you going to tell Scott? Well why not? Oh because he'd be on my side, I see, fair enough we don't want any of that do we dad? Alright, I'll tell him. See you.” John hung up the phone and ran his hands over his face and through his hair.

“What's wrong?” Virgil put his book down and started to stand up.

“Dad's sending his friend around in the private jet to take you home and I have to make sure your at the airfield first thing tomorrow.” John looked as if he was trying to find the words for the next part of what he needed to tell him but couldn't bring himself to do so.

“John, you're still hiding something.” Virgil took a few steps closer to his brother, to make sure he couldn't break eye contact. He knew once he did, he wouldn't get anything more out of John. It was something Gordon did too, with the exception that Gordon would come clean sooner or later and not bottle it till he couldn't take it anymore.

His brother sighed. “Once you go, I'm not allowed to talk to you again.”

“Pfft, like that's ever going to happen, you keep me sane.”

“He'll figure a way to, you know what dad's like. He only throws money around when he's really mad. Said I'm the worst son in the world and a bad influence.”

“Ok now I know you're lying to me John, you're extremely harmless. Gordon's more of a problem than you are, that kid sneaks off to go night clubbing whatever chance he gets when he's off the island and supposed to be spending time with me.” Virgil then gently grabbed his brother by the arms. “Tell me what's going on?”

“Alan fell off the roof of the house. He's got a broken arm and a shattered collarbone, otherwise fine. Dad says it's my fault for showing him how to get up there in the first place.”

Virgil sighed, he knew it had to have something to do with the youngest Tracy. Falling off the roof of the house? It wasn't secret Alan and John both used to sit up there at night to watch the stars. The spot they usually chose was above Virgil's bedroom as it wasn't obstructed by light pollution from the lights in the backyard. Alan still crawled up there some nights and talked to John on the phone so they could still talk about them and compare the difference between the northern and southern hemisphere.  Alan must have been getting ready to call up tonight if he was trying to get up there.

“John, that's not your fault, that's Alan's for being so stupid.”

“I'm the irresponsible one who showed him how to get up there Virgil.”

Clearly this wasn't going to go anywhere... time to change the topic slightly, Virgil decided. “Ok so why am I being haled home and not you? You ALWAYS go home as soon as you can to sit by his side till he gets better!” Virgil tried to remind him that was his brother's job, being there for their silly younger siblings.

“Father said no, his word is final. He'd probably go all crazy on me if I tried. He does own a shotgun Virgil and he has threatened to use it before.”

“Surely he wouldn't, would he?” Virgil had to think for a minute. Their father would, come to think of it. He had a few times on Scott and on Gordon as a threat to try and get them back in line from misbehaving once. He remembered the hole in the roof and how embarrassed their father was afterwards for being such an idiot. It made you realise how hard it was trying to keep five sons in line from time to time for the man. If pathetic harmless old John was as disappointing as their father believed then yeah he would not put it past him. Sure their father was a loving and gentle man but it didn't mean he couldn't get angry and be wrong a lot of the time too.

Virgil couldn't think of what else to say so he just hugged his brother, hoping that at the very least it would help him feel better. It didn't but John acted as if it had the rest of the evening, trying hard not to think about not being allowed to be there for Alan.

Eventually Virgil found himself drawing again, his older brother in a fitful sleep on the couch. John didn't even bring up what he was so excited about at NASA anymore the rest of his time awake, which Virgil was sort of hoping he would. The only mention of it was John saying he would have had to take Virgil back home a day earlier but it doesn't matter anymore because he's suddenly busy anyway.

It was if a part of his brother had just been taken away and locked behind a huge steel door.  This wasn't the weekend he had expected, Virgil realised that John might have had tons of fun things planned and none of them were ever going to happen.

He tried thinking about how fast his brother's emotions changed and sketched them out on paper. When all laid out in front of him like that he could see John was quite a highly animated person who had a range of emotions that very few other people possessed within a space of an hour. They were clearly fleeting each and every one but they were there all the same. Further back in the book he could find resemblances here and there to sketches he had of Gordon, full of confidence and cockiness and stupidity, Alan's curiosity and nativity, even traces of Scott's seriousness and calm, however they were all tinted with a shy brush.

It was funny the little things you think about as an artist, he considered. Until you sit down and really study a person you don't realise how fascinating and unique they are.

He love how his brothers all made very strange subjects at times, even bizarre in the case of Scott as he noticed things about the eldest Tracy he would more than happy burn the pages of the book if was asked about them. His eyes wandered back to the tattoo magazines and he spotted a photograph of a bright yellow space craft that looked rather streamlined and had four big rocket engines attached to it's design. Virgil wondered if that was the ship John had been working on at NASA. He wouldn't mind if he borrowed the picture to draw too?

Their father was being unfair. Virgil remembered as a kid  hey had all climbed on the roof at one point or another with John, himself to paint the view, Scott to smoke dad's cigars where he couldn't see him and Gordon to fire a bottle rocket or two that managed to smash a window on the odd occasion. None of the mischief they got up to up there was John's fault but he got into trouble for it every time.

It was never the intention for his brothers to join him there either, in a house with four other siblings it was inevitable that it sort of just happened. You can't get away from them no matter how much you tried.

Personal space, in that kind of situation was limited and no matter what John did, he never seemed to get any of it. It was their fault now that he didn't like it as much as he probably should have now he was doing his own thing.

Alan's accident had been bothering Virgil too. The kid was going to be wondering why no one had told his older brother yet as Alan liked waking up and having John there to spoil him when he ended up confined to the house... usually because of Gordon's pranks backfiring and injuring him in some way. In that regard John was more of a mother hen than Scott was to the rest of them. He remembered Scott and Gordon fighting a lot and having shout-offs at John who never fought them back. Virgil used to admire him for it, still did. He knew he would never understand why John liked the baby in the family back then,  it had something to do with the fact everyone else hated him at the time? Whatever the case, Virgil knew there was a deep ingrained sense of responsibility there for his littlest brother you couldn't budge. Virgil had something like it with Gordon but he knew it would never be as tight as theirs.

Telling him he can't do what he has always done was quite possibly the same as telling John to shoot himself. THAT annoyed Virgil. If it was Gordon, Virgil would have been arguing the matter till his father caved in and just let him be a brother. He didn't understand why John wouldn't.... unless he was really trying to impress the old man and was afraid of disappointing him. It was only natural, Scott did, so why shouldn't John? Virgil knew himself and Gordon only ever cared about impressing the older two as their father seemed pretty admit that they were the examples to live up to... or at the very least, Scott was.

As Virgil drew, his thoughts seemed to dictate the sketches of his sibling. It was funny, despite the fact he looked more like their father and Scott, Virgil never really had much in common with them. He was far calmer and far stronger, got hot headed and irrational far less than they did, had more sympathy for other people and their opinions and a lot more respect for them too. He couldn't think of where he learned all that from, as he didn't spend that much time around their mother when she was alive,but trailing behind Scott trying to be better than him, which was all things considered a wasted effort.

He smiled. There was times when he had woken up in the morning to find new sketch books and pencils at the end of his bed with little silly notes attached to them, asking for some picture or another. They were not easy things to draw either, sometimes they were asked to be done in a particular style. He often wondered where the pictures had ended up and only stopped when he saw them all hung up in frames on John's bedroom wall, just above the bed. It was funny, Virgil was slightly shy, hid his talent from his brothers and somehow John had subtly helped encourage him to improve without him noticing.

It made Virgil less embarrassed about being the only artist in the family and be proud that someone liked his work.

That might have been why he never bothered painting from photos with John in them. After all who would want pictures of themselves to hang on their walls when they couldn't even look at themselves in a mirror? That was another weird mystery Virgil had solved and promised to keep to himself.

Looking at his sketches, he grinned. Maybe it was time to do something about that.

Virgil awoke to the smell of french toast and cinnamon and realised he was no longer where he had fallen asleep on the floor, was instead tucked under a warm blanket on the couch.The plate of food was on the coffee table which was now free from magazines with a glass of apple juice sitting beside his drawing utensils.

He sighed. His brother had gone into over bearing sibling mode but he couldn't be mad at him for that. It wasn't as if he didn't have anyone else to do it too.

“Morning Van Gogh.”

Virgil looked up to see John leaning over the back of the couch. “Kyrano rang and said he's just landed at the nearby airfield. I guess dad wants you out of here pretty quick.” John seemed to shake his head. “I was hoping for some time to see a film before you had to go but even that's not going to be possible.”

“Well if we jumped on your bike we could skip the state?”

“You've never been on the end of Kyrano's tracking abilities have you? There's a reason he's dad's butler... he's like a terrier if you try to avoid him.” he smiled slightly under his tired eyes. “Think of dad's other friend's one Parker. Both of them are as bad as each other believe me.”

“This sucks.”

“Tell me about it.”

“No I mean, it really does suck, you should be going instead of me.”

“Best not to make the whole thing worse than it is Virgil. Sometimes you have to accept stuff that won't change, even if it's in the face of a stubborn bull-headed fool.”

“I've never heard you call dad that before.”

“You've never heard Scott's words on the matter. He's a lot less kind about it.”

“You mean even he has problems with dad?”

“You better believe it. I've seen them argue before. Scotty has a temper that's dangerous off a leash.”

“So do you John.”

His brother snorted. “I don't get that bad.”

“I've seen you beat Gordo up a few times. It's pretty bad.”

“His own fault. I hate being the butt of all his pranks.” he ruffled Vigil's hair. “Eat up so we can walk over. At least I can't get into trouble for seeing you off. Might be the last chance I get if dad has his way after this.”

The walk to the airfield was pretty sombre, Virgil noticed his brother was doing everything he could not to think about not being able to go home. He never heard John talk so much about the most trivial things before. It wasn't normal, his brother wasn't good at small talk even in the best case scenario and was much more inclined to do all the listening when others had things more interesting to say. When they reached the jet Kyrano pulled John aside and had a little talk with him before they had to leave the tarmac and head home. Virgil wished he was in on what had been said, Kyrano rather liked John as as far as he was concerned, he couldn't do any wrong and didn't understand why Jeff was so harsh on the boy. Maybe the fact that his brother was staying behind made him more concerned than usual as Kyrano even mentioned that it was strange that he wasn't jumping in the plane too with Alan the way he was. Vigil told him to ask their father as he didn't really understand either.

Walking into the house back on the island wasn't a picnic either. When Alan saw him he sat up on the living room chairs, arm in a sling and all full of excitement that his father had sent for someone to keep him company. Just what Virgil wanted to face, the littlest Tracy, expecting to see his best pal walking through the living room doors.

“Hey Virgil!” Alan shouted, as if he had not had been remotely hurt at all from his fall that night. “Dad said you were staying with John and said you were coming home today just to see me!”  He seemed to look past both Virgil and Kyrano for a minute or two. “Where's John? Thought he'd come with you?'

“I'm sorry to be the be a bit of a disappointment Alan, I didn't expect to come home on my own.” Virgil tried not to look at his little brother, he couldn't bare to see the disappointment cross his face.

Kyrano spoke. “He said he couldn't come just yet, he had a few things to tie up first.” Virgil looked at him in shock as if Kyrano had never told a lie so honestly believable before.  “He won't disappoint you master Alan I'm sure.”

Virgil leaned towards him and whispered, “You got any evidence to back up your little lie, I suggest you use it now before Alan asks any questions.”

“Check your book.” Kyrano mumbled back with a sly smile.

“Are we going to play this silly game now?” Virgil hissed.

Kyrano raised an eyebrow and Virgil rolled his eyes. “Fine.” he dropped his backpack and started to rummage for his sketchbook. He opened the book and shook it till a slip of paper fell out. Alan was faster than Virgil to pick it up.

“Have Alan watch the rocket launch tomorrow.” Alan flipped the paper around to see if there was more, but there wasn't.

“Great, more fun and games. Honestly John, why can you never be straightforward with-” Virgil hesitated. “Hey Alan, do they post anything up about the NASA rockets on the internet?”

“Do they ever!” Alan had forgotten whatever it was that had made him upset about John not being there. Clearly things to do with space where far more important to the kid than his own family. He thought for a moment, “The only rocket that's scheduled to launch tomorrow is a test one. Why would John want me to watch that? Dad says those launches are dangerous and that I'm banned from them unless I'm with an adult.”

“Huh? Since when? I thought all launches were dangerous.” Virgil frowned. He tapped a button on the underside of the coffee table and brought up a holoscreen and keyboard. “Do you know what the rocket is called?”

“It's the SS Andromeda.” Alan smiled. “I didn't know you were into spaceships Virgil!”

“Not usually, no.” Virgil could honestly think of much better machines to occupy his spare time working on than space rockets and satellites. He typed the name of the craft in the search engine and stood back in surprise at the three-dimensional image of the space ship that came up on screen. It was streamlined and had four chunky engines at the lower end. he recognised it from the photo he swiped from John's coffee table. “Says here it's a three stage experimental solo craft. What's so special about that?”

“Three stage craft? Oh that, that's what they used to call the old space shuttles that Neil Armstrong used to set foot on the moon. They don't make many of them anymore unless they are to test some sort of new fancy equipment. Even dad never got to fly in one of those things.” Alan seemed to rattle off information as if he had memorized it by heart. Virgil wasn't going to question it, his little brother was obsessed with the things to the point he was sure he knew everything right down to the company that manufactured the engines.Then he frowned. “Why would John tell me to watch a spacecraft that might get blown to bits? Experimental crafts rarely ever stay intact the entire journey.”

Virgil found a link to the ships astronaut and opened it. “Maybe he helped build it or...” Virgil had to take a step back from the holographic screen. “He's going to fly it.” the news John didn't manage to tell him the night before he left was now staring him in the face. “Well I'll be a son of a monkey...”

 “Don't let dad hear you say that.” Alan warned. “He's floating around in his office you know.”

Virgil could feel Alan tugging his shirt with his good hand. “John was going to tell me about this before dad rang.” Virgil admitted. “He never got to.”

“Why would he want to be in something so dangerous? Why couldn't he wait till a proper space launch came up?”

“I don't think it works like that Alan. I think you take whatever you can get.” He gave Alan a reassuring smile. “That's what he's always wanted though, isn't it? To be up amongst the stars. Maybe this is his only chance.”

“I don't want him to go Virgil.”

Virgil squatted down to Alan's small height. His ten year old brother looked as if his world was going to crash around him, he couldn't have that.

“He was very excited about it. I think that maybe him asking me to make sure you're watching was because he wanted you to be excited too.” Virgil gave his little brother a reassuring smile. “He always thinks of you when he does things, he only wants you to be proud of having a big brother who gets to do something he's always dreamed of.”Iit was true, Virgil could never make that up in a million years. “And don't listen to dad ok? John wanted to be here and would have been happy to put this whole space thing aside just to see you. If this is the only way he gets to cheer you up, he's going to take it.”

Alan gave Virgil a hug which gave him a surprise. Virgil was also more than happy to return it.

The launch the next day was interesting. Alan sat curled up next to Virgil as he doodled more in his sketchbook, watching eagerly but at the same time, full of nerves and worry. He couldn't fault the littlest one for it, he was just as concerned, two days ago might have been the last time he'd see his sibling who was obsessed about touching the stars.

“Alan, why are you watching a experimental launch? I strictly told you those things are not for children your age. If you want to see a rocket launch you should wait till the launch an official shuttle to the International Space Station.”

Alan didn't move, so Virgil did so for him and looked up at their father who didn't look impressed.

“I'm also watching it father, so it's alright.”

Jeff's eyes narrowed. “No it isn't Alan's still too young to watch some poor kid risk their life on the off chance that this is as close to being a real astronaut as it gets.”

“Even if it's the youngest astronaut in history?” Virgil replied. “The pilot in question is nineteen.”

“Who'd be that big of a fool to let their own son throw their life away?”

“I wouldn't exactly say 'let' dad. More like 'should have been a little more supportive in them growing up.'” Virgil grunted.

“Alright Virgil I can see you're mad about the whole thing with John but it's for your own good. He is a bad influence.”

“Not as bad as Gordon when he's decided to sneak into a night club underage.” this got some horrified looks from Jeff. “It's amazing the stuff we get up to when all you do is pick on one person for being a bad hat when they have nothing to do with everyone else's behavior.”

“Why are you insisting talking back to me Virgil?” Jeff sighed. He hated having arguments with his third oldest son, mostly because he was made to feel guilty about them afterwards. Virgil had a tendency to make his father think about his actions and regret them later.

“Because it's true.” Virgil shrugged. “You so instant that us being trouble makers is all John's fault for being the one who took over when mum died. You've resented him for it ever since. Did you ever think that maybe it was Scott that was the bad example instead? He was the one who had wild parties, smoked until he was coughing up his lungs and got me so drunk I couldn't find my own feet for three days. You're so obsessed with finding a fault in the one person who tried to do everything to please you, you fail to see something right under your own nose.”

Alan nudged his brother. “SHH! I can't hear what they are saying. They are talking to the pilot about some sort of worse case scenario. If anything goes wrong, I'd like to know why I don't have a brother anymore.”

Jeff really put on a stern face this time. “What are you on about Alan?”

“The astronaut is one of your sons, Mr. Tracy.” Kyrano replied, entering the room with a tray of lemonade.

“Can't be. I know exactly where they all are.”

“Not everyone Mr. Tracy, sir. You should pay more attention to your boys, if you don't mind me saying so. My daughter even thinks your a bit of a hard nut at times but I think you'll be surprised by them yet. After all, they all have you tenacity for danger.”

Alan was getting frustrated and turned up the volume on the holovision. The communication between Houston and the astronaut squeezed into the tense atmosphere.

 

“Roger that Huston, I hope that that's not going to be the case. She's a beautiful machine and I am glad to have helped put some elbow grease into her myself, design wise. Andromeda won't be a failure I assure you.”

“We are only really worried about the second lot of separation jets Tracy. If they don't fire as planed you'll either be stranded in space in danger of crashing down with an entire tank full of explosive fuel or they'll blow you to pieces in the abyss.”

“I'm sure they'll do just fine, Huston. I have a good feeling about this. For once, Luck is on my side.”

“Said the man about to die. Look Tracy we are not going to take any chances on re-entry, that understood?”

“Clear as crystal, that's assuming I get that far past the first stage. You're worrying too far ahead again guys.”

“Sometimes your attitude worries us John. You're too laid back about this.”

“What's the worst that could happen? No seriously guys, I think this will be fine. I don't think the stars are going to go out on this candle just yet.”

Jeff listened to the banter as the per-launch checks began full swing and his face started to pale.

“How? I mean... I honestly thought-”

“That he was a failure? You know he'll die trying to prove you wrong one of these days and you'll wish you paid attention more.” Virgil growled. He had been sketching the rocket now for a little while. Even he couldn't take his mind off the dangers that could happen to his older brother and was trying to channel it into something constructive.

Virgil gave Jeff a sideways stare. “You need to fix something dad. Not Just for me but for Alan and everyone else. You owe John an apology.” he grinned. “And it has to be a good one.”

“Virgil!” Alan grabbed his arm, “They're going to launch it!”

Virgil let himself smile. “You know my lecturer for Industrial design saw my art and asked me to enter in the University-wide art show... until now I didn't have any stroke of inspiration... until I spent sometime in Florida.” he said absently, hoping his father would take the hint. “Tickets cost twenty dollars a head and I think I'd rather someone be there to see it.” Subtly wasn't something Virgil was good at but at least his father would get the message.

 

***

Space, all things considered, would be far more interesting if he could actually see it, John had decided. Andromeda was fitted with a huge array of holoscreens, read outs and more fancy bits and bobs that you could poke a stick at however it lacked the most vital thing in the whole universe – a view. Spending at least a month above the earth got boring without any reward.

What was the point being in a space ship when you couldn't see outside the damn thing? Fine, the ship wasn't predicted to leave earth at all and crash and burnout long before leaving the atmosphere, but so far everything had gone to plan and he was no longer touching the ozone layer.

“This is Huston calling Andromeda, how's the weather up there?”

“No idea, but the separations of the two lots of thruster engines have worked beautifully. Give my thanks to the engineer and any gods that look after astro-scientists.”

“Don't let it go to your head, you still have to land this baby Tracy.”

“I know, don't keep reminding me. Can't start to think about that until the fuel in these engines burn out and we plummet back to orbit.” he sighed. It was going to be a long few hours before he could do anything up there. “Can I make a suggestion Huston?”

“Anything you want Tracy. You usually do.”

“Next time you intend to send me on a suicide run, could you at least have a window installed? The most prettiest view in my life is potentially outside of this thing and I'd prefer to be looking at that as my dying wish if you intend to kill me.”

“Very funny Tracy.”

“I wasn't joking.”

“Speaking of which, we have a visitor here.”

“Oh god please don't be some folk singer who wants to sing me renditions of Paul McCartney's greatest hits. I'd rather wait till I've died falling back to earth first.”

“It's ex- NASA astronaut Jeff Tracy. Are you both related or something?”

“You mean he's never told anyone?” That was the voice of Jeff, sounding extremely surprised that John had not mentioned they were father and son.

“Why would I dad? I can't do anything on my own without yours, mum's or Scott's shadow hanging over me.” John found himself wishing that the engines had exploded and he wasn't having to listen to the only communications he had to the planet. “What's the problem? Can't I have a moment in my life that I can finally be the star of the story? Or is that too much to ask?”

“I wanted to congratulate you son,and apologize.” Jeff's voice seemed to waver. “I know I've been overly harsh over the years, and ignorant of the one thing that had been in front of me the whole time that I should be proud of. Can you forgive me?”

John really wanted to say no. In his tiny little space shuttle he wanted to scream 'NO! NOT THIS TIME NOT EVER!' at the top of his lungs. What was the point? There was hundreds of scientists down there back at Huston listing to this entire conversation because they were only concerned about the life expectancy of their only astronaut who is about to plummet back to earth in a few hours. There where days he honestly wished it was his father that went missing all those years ago and not his mother, but you can't change the hands of fate. He knew his old man tried but John just wasn't the boy he wanted him to be. He would always be his mother's son, no matter how you looked at it. Sure he and his father had similar passions but both for entirely different reasons and that was as far as it went.

“I guess so.”

Relief seemed to fill his father's voice. “When you touch down again, Virgil wants you to see something at the university.”

“Why can't you go?” John sounded suspicious. That would be just like his father, getting him to forgive him and then dump something on him that he was asked to do. Why couldn't his father go and encourage his younger brother himself? He had legs and a damn private jet, it's not like he couldn't get there.

“Because he asked for you and not me.” Jeff's voice seemed to have a strange perkiness to it. “Specifically too. You can't argue with Virgil when he gets a bee in his bonnet like that.”

“Anything for Virgil dad.”

“Oh and John?”

“Yeah?”

“The boys down here have informed me that they still have the old tradition of serenading the current astronaut still floating around...”

“Dad, for the love of- you're not going to sing are you?”

“Heck no, that's your brother's area of expertise. No, Alan had a suggestion of his own in which I think you might be a lot more happier with.”

He could hear sniggering from other members of the Huston control. Oh great just want he wanted, to be publicly humiliated when he was millions of miles away from the planet.

Within minutes the whole communications channel was filled with music. John sat back in the pilot seat of the Andromeda and smiled. Not only had Alan proved that John had a taste in music that was as old as their father but one that was as strange as he was as a person. The lyrics for 'Landed' by Ben Folds hummed and dances through the relay.

“Thanks a million kid.”

 

***

“Alright, so what am I hear for?” John said walking down the halls of the university of Colorado. He had been in space for three months, had celebrated his twentieth birthday in solitude and had only touched down on the planet for four hours before Jeff was quick to whisk him away up state for Virgil's thing – whatever it was. His littlest brother Alan was waiting out front of the building and was so excited to see him he almost walked around the halls with his brother glued to his pants leg. Alan was tugging him around the place, as if he was trying to shepherd his older brother like a stray sheep.

“You'll see. You're going to be so impressed!” Alan chirped.

He lead his older sibling into the gym that had been divided up into a huge art space. There was sculptures, paintings and even installations.

“Wow.” John breathed. This was something that was completely alien to him. Virgil's world of mechanics he could just about understand but the world of arts in which Virgil truly flourished was something he only ever touched the surface of.

“This way!” Alan dragged his brother along. John didn't even get to glance at any of the pieces, let alone admire the work that had gone into them. There was so many people in the Gymnasium, it made the space feel closed off and small. Enochlophobia was something was very real to John and right now he was starting to feel sick in the pit of his stomach. That's why he preferred space and the small company of his brothers or work mates.. he couldn't handle large crowds of this scale.

“Alan, I think I'd like to go back outside and wait till there's less people.”

“No you can't 'cause you need to see this now!” His little brother insisted. Alan, like Scott was utterly fearless. There was nothing that could terrify the kid other than maybe loosing his brothers.

“Really, Alan, I seriously think we should-” he paused when Alan finally stopped herding him around. His little brother had stopped in fornt of some huge space paintings and sketches.

“SEE! Virgil said you'd be impressed!”

The pictures were beautiful. John wouldn't have been able to find any words to describe them if he could. Unfortunately some of the subject matter was beginning to make him have a panic attack that was partly due to the crowd, but most because of the Eisoptrophobia he had which was far worse.

Being brought up on an island as a child had alot of advantages but there were tons of downsides as well.... also his choice for work when he left to study abroad had not helped things.

Virgil, had chosen him as his subject matter.

 

John couldn't stand seeing himself staring back at him. Sure it wasn't the usual case of Spectrophobia, but John really hated how he looked so much it terrified him to think that's how others saw him too. The only saving grace was that their father didn't like to have reflective surfaces other than windows in the house because they looked filthy. John always covered the mirror in the bathroom and avoided Gordon's room like the plague as Gordon was rather unashamedly obsessed with his appearance. It wasn't really his fault but the fact their father was so hurt by the loss of Lucille, that John knew his father held some resentment to him looking like her. John really loved his mother but just couldn't bring himself to disappoint his dad either, so eventually it got to the point where he couldn't even bring himself to accept it too.

“You like them?” Virgil's had comfortingly squeezed his brother's arm when he walked over. He knew this would be a very hard thing to get his brother to do. “I figure it's about time I showed you how much you mean to me as a brother and time you accepted yourself for who you are.”

“I could kill you Virgil.” John managed to strangle out, his whole body shaking.

“I take that as a compliment.” Virgil chuckled. “Scott and Gordon are around here somewhere too. Both of them have a bet going.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah they both have money on if you're going to murder me or faint on the spot.” Virgil couldn't help himself and laughed.

John clicked his jaw, something he did when under alot of stress. “I hate you all.”

“No you don't. You love us to death.”

John took a deep breath. “How did you come up with the title of the collection?”

“Scott's idea. You are his 'Star man'.”

“Figures.” John found that he was starting to calm down a bit. Focusing on Virgil's artistic talent was very soothing, no matter what the subject maybe. “You don't need me to tell you what I think do you?”

“No.” Virgil shook his head. “When it comes to art, I know exactly the words you'd use without even uttering them.” he had a big smile across his face.

“Good.” John hugged his brother. “Can I have you do that one of the spaceship for me as a tattoo design?”

“Anything for you, Space cowboy.”

“Thanks. Oh and Virgil?”

“Yeah?”

“I'd like my photographs back please.”

PRESENT DAY 

Virgil was sitting at his desk in his private office, wriggling a pen between his fingers. Work,work, work was all he was doing these days, there was never anytime to do art or just take a holiday. Since his divorce he had thrown himself at it whenever he wasn't spending time with his two kids just to keep himself busy. No wonder his older brother threw himself back into International Rescue because this feeling was the pits.

He glanced at some paperwork, an order for hydrofoil components, air pumps, primary atomic fusion generator parts, rocket fuel tanks....John had ordered these a few months ago saying he needed them for repairs. Virgil tried hard to think which machine he was trying to fix, since he knew them pretty intimately as the main mechanic back in the day. John wasn't that forth coming with that information though and in a way it made sense, you didn't want outsiders to know the specific specifications and parts in case they attempted to steal or make their own. One rouge rescue organization was enough.

"Hey boss!" one of Virgil's engineers poked her head in the office and was looking rather excited. "Come look at this!"

Virgil followed her into the break room of the factory where the holoscreens he installed were on with the news channel, blaring away. Half his employees were watching out of fascination as the camera hovered above the scene being played out before them live.

 Thunderbird one had flown headlong into a blizzard in Siberia and while the camera followed as best as it could, most of the footage was shaky but some thing odd was coming over the cameras audio, making the reporters all fall quiet to listen too.

"Steady One, adjust you trajectory as the aim on the magnetic grapple, aim for under the axle."

"FAB, going in close to make sure we're secure."

Virgil listened to the faint radio banter with his employees in silence. They we're all impressed with how professional the pilot sounded, while Virgil was in shock that his brother was still risking his own neck for people who may never say a thank you. 

He watched the terrible footage right up to the end, even after the truck was safely back on the road and the Thunderbird had pulled it's way out of the storm, jetting off before the reporters cameras could follow it.

Virgil's eyes narrowed as he watched the craft leave the scene and could tell something was wrong.he grabbed the head foreman and said, "Hold all calls and Business operations that require me. I have to go somewhere immediately." Without waiting for the guy to respond he was already making a run out of the factory for the nearest airfield.

FLASH BACK (original here) 

(This is the fiction that inspired the entire thing & this clean up as well. It needs the most fixing but I'm happy to do so as I still love it. To have it in it's proper context now feels so good.)

“I'm so sorry about this Scott.” John mumbled as his older brother helped him out of the family jet and onto the tarmac.

“It's not me you have to apologize to.” Scott said softly.

“I know, that's what makes this worse.”

“Think of it this way, you're not dead.”

“No but damn I wish I was.” John hissed as Scott let go of his arm. The last time it hurt so bad was when he got a tattoo and Gordon tittle-tattled on him to their grandmother. She got Virgil to reluctantly pin him down and she scrubbed his arm till it bled. John was relived Gordon had not seen some of the others he had got down his back otherwise he wouldn't have been able to sleep in a bed for weeks. “Alan's going to forgive me for missing his birthday again, you think?”

“If he doesn't I will have a few words with him. It was an accident after all.” Scott sniffed. He left for leave from the air force a week early and volunteered to pick John up from Cape Kennedy, only to find John wasn't there and end up missing their littlest brother's birthday by a month and a half. Scott had missed all their birthdays more than once, though John tried his hardest not to even when he hadn't been given much of a choice. Even when John was doing his internship at NASA he still managed to fit in everyone's birthdays, even if he had to beg Scott to bring him home until Jeff interfered. This time though...

“About time you lot arrived! Do you have any idea how dead you are going to be,” Gordon waltzed up to them both on the landing field and poked John in the chest rather hard, forcing his older brother to wince. “Especially you John.”

“Hey ease up on him Gordon.” Scott was quick to move his brother's finger out of the way, much to John's relief. “You don't want to break your fingers on bone do you?' He joked, getting a eye roll from John in the process.

“Well you have a lot of explaining to do, Alan was pretty mad. I'd never seen anything like it before.”

John sighed. “I bet I have.” He raised an eyebrow at Gordon to get an indignant expression back in return. It wasn't exactly a secret that Gordon was an absolute horror at the age of twelve. He wouldn't be too surprised Alan was as well to some degree. “ On a scale of one to ten?”

Gordon looked thoughtful for a moment before smiling. “I'd say about a nine if your lucky.” He walked around the cargo hold and grabbed the biggest parcel off the plane and almost dropped it. Scott was fast and grabbed it before it hit the ground.

“I am not going to buy another one to replace that!” He growled. “I had to do that once already!”

“What the hell is it? It's heavy!” Gordon exclaimed.

“Alan's birthday present.” John said quietly. “Please for the love of all things brotherly, don't even think about dropping it. It cost over four and a half grand and another four to replace the one I smashed.”

“You mean you already broke it?” Gordon looked at his older brother sideways. “What kind of a brother are you?”

Scott jumped in and answered. “One that has has bottomless pockets.”

John simply shrugged.

“Brainiac.” Gordon teased. His expression changed to curiosity. “So why DID you take so long?”

Scott and John exchanged looks.

“You want to tell him or shall I?” Scott raised an eyebrow.

John caved. “Well, it's like this -”

He didn't get very far before Virgil's voice rang out through the air.

“HEY WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG? YOU AFRAID TO TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT LIKE A MAN?”

“Don't listen to him, he's being a jerk.” Kayo's voice sang over the top of Virgil's. Both of them where standing at the end of the runway that led into the house. Since her mother's passing she had lived on the island like a proper sister to the Tracy’s. It was a long time coming, they already considered her to be one of them for years anyway.

“Since when is he not?” John mumbled, loud enough to get an elbow in the side from Gordon. John gritted his teeth and this time Gordon looked at him surprised. Normally John was fine with the poking and the prodding, usually returning it in kind but his reaction didn't seem normal.

Virgil eventually walked over and gave Scott a bear hug and then give the same to John, who tried to wave him away without fail. Virgil had been working out at his time in New Zealand to keep his brain sharp, as he believed in keeping them both fit and healthy and in top condition so his hugs had gotten stronger since anyone had seen him last... for John it was Gordon's eighteenth, way back in February.

“Ow, ow ow ow OW!” John yelped.

“Whoa, easy Virgil, not everyone can handle your new found strength.” Scott tried to tactfully separate his two brothers. John clearly looked like he was in pain.

“I think I heard something break there Verge.” Gordon sounded concerned.

“I did too.” Kayo added her two cents worth.

Virgil eventually let go and John immediately grabbed his sides and winced. The pain was horrible, like someone had just squeezed his insides out of him.

“John, are you alright?” Gordon asked.

Scott gave John a 'you want me to tell them?' look and got a nod in return. “John was in a motorbike accident the day I was supposed to be picking him up.”

“You were what?” Virgil was taken aback.

“Hang on wait, you have a motorbike license?” Gordon added. John let out a sigh that only older siblings give when a younger one totally changes the topic. “Since when? I thought dad's friend’s chauffeur was the only person allowed to teach us how to drive anything and that car of his is an ancient antique! When did you have time to get a damn license for a motor bike?”

“Really, Gordon? I'm qualified to fly a rocket into deep space and your asking me about a damn motor bike license?” John growled.

“How on earth did you of all people get into an accident?” Virgil asked slightly confused.

“Self inflicted, for the most part.” John admitted. “I had Alan's present badly balanced on the back of the motor bike and a large truck clipped it from the other direction. Within seconds I was under it. I'm very lucky I didn't end up beneath any of the wheels and only got dragged against asphalt for a few kilometers. I don't doubt for a second it could have been worse.”

“That sounds too good too be true.” Gordon frowned.

John shrugged. “I just woke up in hospital. I don't really know exactly how or what got me in there, other than that the driver of the truck's account of the events.” he looked like he was chewing his lip. “I completely destroyed Alan's present. A years worth of wages down the drain.” John sighed. “Twice over.”

“What do you mean, 'twice over?'” Virgil looked really confused.

“I had to re-buy the present.”

“I still can't believe all that John.” Kayo didn't look like she was going to believe anything John told her.

“You better, as I had a heart attack when I rang his phone and a nurse answered.” Scott said flatly. “It's not something you want to be told when you've been waiting for your brother for hours to fly back out home.”

“Just don't tell dad or Alan.” John kept his voice low. “This is the last thing dad wants to hear, and I don't want anyone worrying Alan.”

“Keeping it from Alan is one thing,” Kayo frowned. “But hiding it from your father is going to be extremely hard. He knows just about everything and it would not take him long to find out about this incident.”

“Until then, we'll just keep it to ourselves.” Virgil nodded. “Alright,” he clapped both his hands together. “Are we going to unload this plane and go inside or what?”

 ***

It was a good thing John traveled light, though living on his own and saving up as much money as he could over the course of the year meant he didn't really own very much in the way of personal affects, a majority of such was sent home weeks ago as John didn't trust his newest house mates. He was glad they had no idea who he was as the thought of them touching anything he owned made his skin crawl. They where the typical 'if you have tons of money we'd bleed you dry' kind of people and one thing John was grateful for was his father's ability to keep all his son's in a low profile, nay non existent within the media unless you were a friend of the family and Jeff kept very few close ones. John had in truth only put up with them because he was trying to pave his own way and earn his own living, something which was a nice feeling and gave a sense of completeness.Alright so that wasn't the right word but anything would do as long as John got that independence.

The only thing that had not been left in front of his bedroom door was Alan's present and there was no way he was going to be able to lift it if he wanted to. There was times you had to really admire Virgil's strength as his younger brother lifted it easily over his shoulders to bring it inside and leave it in the living room. After a general catch up of what everyone else had been doing for the past few months, grandma managed to clear the room by trying to offer everyone a cake she made. John didn't eat it but was more than happy to take the mug of hot chocolate that was offered with it.

“Your late.” Grandma Tracy said as she took a sip of her coffee.

“So everyone keeps reminding me.”

“What kept you?”

“You wouldn't believe me if I told you.”

“Just try me.”

John tried to change tactic. “Did Alan still have a good birthday? I didn’t see him at all this evening.”

“You'd have to ask him but he did refuse to open anything till you and Scott arrived. Eventually we got him to open some of them, but I really think he wanted you boys to be there.”

“Grandma, have you ever though about... I don't know, what you think would happen if you died one day?”

Grandma Tracy gave her tallest grandson an expression that John could not read. “What brought this on?”

“Huh? Oh just thinking that's all. I guess I’ve thought about it a lot. I mean I did when mum disappeared, and a few times since... I guess now more than ever.” John admitted. “Just in the last month I've worried about how Alan would take it. I mean, I can't be there all the time, I have tried to give him space and all that but I... I guess I don't know.” he rubbed his eyes. “Maybe I’m just tired.”

“You know, it's normal you might be thinking that although I would have thought your father would have asked that first.” Grandma Tracy smiled. “With everything you have done for your little brother and the others over the years it's not surprising. Both you and Scott have held things together when your father has had trouble doing so and I’m very proud of you boys for being so close to one another. I know you don't hear it enough but I've always been proud of you.”

Something seemed to be preying on John's mind. “Grandma, when dad finally gets back he's going to announce what he's been doing in those areas of the house that have been out of bounds for the last year.”

“Oh? You know do you?”

“Sort of. I only know a small fraction, quite frankly the bits I do know and have been able to piece together myself worry me a lot more than they should.” John sighed.

Grandma Tracy pulled out a very old photo wallet she kept. It was full of photos of her own sons and also her grandsons and the one she opened to show John was when he had come to visit during one of his university breaks, when Alan was about five. She smiled. “Does it involve your brothers?”

Great... thanks Grandma. John mentally cursed. Grandma Tracy only showed John that photo when she was trying to guilt him into giving her information. The picture was of all of the boys piled onto John's bed, all asleep cuddled together. John couldn't even remember why they where all on his bed in the first place. Gordon and his ideas about family bonding might have had something to do with it. The problem was it was photographic proof John really cared about his other siblings as no one outside the family would believe him if he told them.

“Yes it does but I think it will be better if I leave it to dad to explain it. My involvement in it... is hard to explain.” John stood himself up, wincing as he did so. “I'm going to see if I can talk to Alan, then I’m going to go down to the pool and make sure Gordon doesn't attempt to drown anybody now we are all home. He almost managed it last time.” That wasn't something John wanted a repeat of, especially since this time there was no way he could help Scott pull Virgil out of the pool.

He thanked Grandma Tracy before heading upstairs and heading down the hall where the bedrooms were situated. Alan's was next to John's as both of those rooms had the best obscured views of the night sky on the island. Their father had once said that at least three of them had caught the family disease of wanting to go off to places where no human should survive, like the vacuum of space or the deepest darkest ocean. John could honestly say the genes for doing things that were suicidal and dangerous was a huge fault they shared as whole, though he'd never say that to his father's face.

John tried not to trip over his things that Virgil unceremoniously plonked outside his bedroom door and towards Alan's knocking on it softly.

“Hey Alan, are you in there?” John said clearly enough that Alan could hear over any video games he could potentially be playing in his room. “Look, I'm sorry we missed your birthday, had a bit of a problem before we could fly out. I don't expect you to forgive me but it'd be nice to at least say hello after such a long time.” After a few more minutes without a response, John just shrugged and collected his things to put away. There was no point poking a stick in where it wasn't wanted. John wasn't like Scott who would have stood there for hours until he gave up and grabbed Virgil to ram the door down.

John decided to get changed out of his clothes he wore for the plane trip and let out a hiss when he noticed blood had seeped through his bandages and his shirt. Must have happened when Virgil hugged him. Bugger, he will have to be more careful. He didn't want to bleed to death if anything happened and they couldn't get him off the island fast enough. As he hunted for a shirt in the minefield of mess that was his room he thought back to a conversation with his dad he had earlier that year.

“Hey Dad, these things your getting me to program, they're simulations for pilots training, not computer games. Just what are you doing at home?”

“Come now John, why would I want to create a simulation of flying machines that don't even exist.”

“Sure and that scientist – inventor that you're working with that sent me the holographic interfaces couldn't program these himself? I'm sure a man of his genius could program a simple game. You're building something and your not telling me. Since you need me to send you all this coding-simulator stuff you better tell me what's going on.

“I can see there's no fooling you Johnathan. I'm building several aircraft and a space station.”

“Now you're pulling my leg.”

“No seriously, why do you think all the simulators are of different cockpit configurations? Sure, Scott's the only one that knows how to fly a fighter jet but I need these to train up some of the most advanced pilots in the business and you're the only person I know who can program the training modules. I figured if you knew how to build and program satellites at NASA, you'd know how to create programs on how to fly these creations.”

“And just who is going to fly these?”

“I was thinking you boys might like to give it a go.” 

Yeah, like that was ever going to be a serious conversation after all of that. There had been times his father's construction company had been employed to build planes and things in the past but he had never once asked John to help him with them. Something was going on and John felt he needed to get to the bottom of it at the time. He regretted it instantly.

“I have been thinking son, I was going to give you control of the space station. We might need someone semi-permanently stationed up there for months at a time. You're a NASA boy like your old man after all, I think you could handle that.”

“I don't know dad. What if something happened to one of us? What about Gordon and Alan? They'd feel left out if you don't ask them too.”

“Gordon will have a place, he's planning to go on a undersea science expedition next year before he does some advanced training with the World Aquanaut Security Patrol as head submarine and marine biologist. Last I heard from him he was pretty upset that this expedition had to involve him doing things with the US Navy and do extra training on a military submarine and you know how he hates the military.”

“Thank you for reminding me I'm not the only brainiac in the family, dad. What about Alan?”

“Alan is far to young for this sort of thing.”

“So you expect him to just sit around while you send his brothers off to risk their lives saving random strangers? I'm pretty sure he's going to ask tons of questions when you send me off into the voids of space for months at a time and I can't tell him anything because it's top secret. I can't keep a lie up wandering around forever and especially from Alan.”

“What do you want me to do John? Have him pilot the spaceship?”

“Why not? Alan knows all the stars in the skies and he keeps begging me to take him on a tour of where I work at NASA. He's also asked me to get him application forms for courses from Colorado university that are available for gifted high school students, specifically in rocket and astro sciences. He's quite capable and I believe he could pass the entrance tests without any problems.”

“Absolutely not John. It will be far to dangerous.”

“If it's too dangerous for Alan, then it's too dangerous for the rest of us. If you expect me to be stuck in a damn space station operating all your communications signals then you better damn train Alan to at least fly the bloody space ship! There is no way I’m going to be marooned out there on my own without anyway of coming back down if something goes wrong. You can argue with me all you like on it and get Scott to side with you when you finally tell him about this, but I’m not going to be left up there to watch everyone else potentially get hurt without a way to get off the damn thing to help with backup. Even if I have to train him to fly it myself, I'd make sure he would always be safe in that thing because at least that would be one of my brothers I know is safe when things potentially go ploin shaped!”

“Are you finished John?”

“No. This.. This is insane. You're insane, I'm insane, our whole bloody family is insane. Why am I related to you?”

“He's not even twelve yet.”

“You still need another two years to get all of us trained enough to get the whole thing operational and running smoothly. He can do it, I know he can.”

 John finally found a shirt stuffed under one of his pillows and pulled it on. He didn't realise what colour it was until he walked out into the hallway, one of the many downsides to getting dressed in the dark. At least it would hide any more blood stains if the wounds where going to keep weeping. Ah to hell with it, they might all get a kick out of him wearing a t-shirt for a change.

John kept thinking about Alan's present as he headed downstairs. Sure part of it was quite huge but there was something smaller slipped inside the box, something he unfortunately had to get Scott to dig out of the broken debris of his previous presents busted packaging. As far as Scott knew, it was a gift card or something with money in it, if Scott really knew what it was he'd be devastated he didn't think of it first. That was something worth smiling about. He stepped out into the warm sea air and headed over to the other by the pool. Virgil spotted him first and started laughing.

“Where the hell did you get that from?”

“Tie-dye is not your colour John.” Scott added, equally chuckling along.

“It looks rather tight.” Kayo added. She was sitting by the water's edge with her feet dangling in.

Gordon finally surfaced and spotted John as well. “Hey you're finally wearing the shirt I bought you last Christmas!”

“That explains the hang ten across the back of it then.” John shook his head. Gordon kept buying him things to do with surfing in hopes to get his older brother into the sea with him. So far it hadn't worked, but now and then items of clothing surfaced and John had no alternative to wear them as his others were still in the wash. Gordon also had a nasty habit of buying things that he figured, 'if they fit me they will fit everyone else.' when it came to Virgil, nothing ever fitted and Scott always found them really loose around the shoulders and not long enough in the body. John always fitted within the shoulders, but looked skinny and bony everywhere else. He always wore high cut jeans, so shirts short in the body never bothered him, though when you are almost six and half feet tall barley anything fitted lengthwise anyway.

“I can't believe your still walking upright.” Virgil smiled.

“I only had the hot chocolate. There's no way Grandma can force me to eat one of her cakes.” John started walking around the edge of the pool so he could sit in one of the deck chairs. “It's not like she's ever poisoned anyone with one of those yet.”

“You should have seen her attempt at Alan's birthday cake.”

“Oh?”

“Pretty to look at, sat like rocks in your guts and made Gordo fart like there was no tomorrow.” Virgil laughed.

“Who the hell puts beans in a bloody cake anyway?” Gordon muttered. “At least I didn't turn the bathrooms into a no go zone.”

Kayo stood up and pulled a disgusted face. “Too much information.” Kayo was quick and sat down in the chair before John could and poked out her tongue. “Did you speak to Alan?”

John shook his head. “No, I don't blame him really.”

“Me neither, he practically worships the ground you walk on.” Virgil teased.

“Pox monkeys, he does. He rang once every week for me to check his homework over, beg me to tour NASA and tell me all about the exciting stuff you lot all get up to and never has once asked me what I really do there for a job.” John said, walking back around to another chair.

“Have to admit, he's a bit like that with me too.” Said Scott after a bit of a pause. “He at least knows where you work right? He knows where all of us are and what we're doing at least.”

“I guess. Come to think of it no one has ever asked what I do there, except maybe Virgil.” John stopped his wandering walk and looked at his older brother. “I mean, I know what all of you do, where you work, what you guys all get up to and yet, it seems only Virgil and to a lesser extent Dad talks to me what I’m doing with myself and even then he assumes everything and is still wrong.”

“We all know you're doing something extremely nerdy.”

“Shut up shark-bait, you're just as big of a nerd as the rest of us.” John flicked a glare at Gordon who ducked back under the waters surface. When he came back up for air John said quickly, “When were you going to tell us you got the expedition?”

“Probably never.” Gordon clicked his tongue. “I'm spending a whole year under the sea to study underwater farming and it's affects. It's not that interesting. Apparently the US navy think none of us scientists are capable of operating a one man submarine so they have their paws in everywhere trying to control the project. I would not be surprised they funded the whole thing.”

“Wouldn't put it past them. Some of the shit I’ve seen the air-force, it's got some explaining to do.” Scott added his two cents.

“How's the advanced technology sector going Virgil?”

His younger brother shrugged. “Could be worse. At the moment we are trying to figure out why the motors on the newest hydrofoils we've been building are catching fire. So far we can't find a cause and until then we can't sell them.”

“Hang on, those are the new boats that they keep yapping about on the news?” Gordon had swam over and rested his arms on the edge of the pool. “I'd love one of those when they're all ready for purchase.”

“Not a chance baby brother, not until they are safe enough even for our testers and they are far from it. We lost two test pilots already to life threatening burns.” Virgil had a very serious expression. “If I can stop you from doing at least one stupid thing in your life, it would be driving one of those.”

“You're no fun.” Gordon had a pout that made him look younger than what he was. Gordon had surpassed his brothers academically and had a PHD in marine sciences at the age of sixteen but with the way he acted you wouldn't believe how smart he was. John swore it was like dealing with a small child at times.

“So, what do you do then?” Kayo asked, curious. Truth be told she was only finding out what each of her adoptive brothers did for the first time. It might give her some ideas of what she might like to do.

“At NASA? Or in my spare time?” John phrased it as if he had something to hide.

“NASA. I already know what you do in your spare time. Alan is pretty much identical to you in that.”

“Are you sure? John has never played a video game in his life.” Virgil joked.

“Very funny, why play them when you can code them.”

“See what I mean, Kayo?”

“Get stuffed.”

“Actually, I’m also kind of curious.” Scott sat a little more upright in his seat. “You got more fancy diplomas and degrees than the rest of us, so it has to be something pretty out there.”

“I wouldn't say piloting experimental rockets to set up communications relays and launch satellites that out there, Scott.”

“You do what?” Scott looked surprised. “Your just like dad then?”

“Um, no. I do a lot of the boring technical stuff on board the rockets when I’m in space. It's not often I get to though, most of the stuff is is done on ground level in an experimental astrophysics laboratory. I'd kill to be able to see the stars from the rocket though, I’m just never in a part of the ship that allows that privilege.” He shrugged. “Maybe one day but not any time soon.”

“No wonder no one asks you what you do John, when they do you shrug it off as it's no big deal.” Virgil smiled, honesty radiating true on every word.

“You’re so funny Virgil.” John layered on the sarcasm.

No one had been paying Gordon any attention for the past few minutes, if they had, they would have noticed his devious smile that had become plastered across his face when he realised John was standing really close to the pools edge and had been for sometime.

“You know what? I should become a comedian.” Virgil changed the subject to something other than work.

“Who'd want to go see you on stage?” Kayo smirked.

“Only people who'd like to see clowns hit with custard pies.” Scott chimed in.

“GOTCHYA!” Gordon shouted as he leapt up from the water, grabbed John around the legs and pulled him backwards into the pool.

Scott was quick off his seat to run and dive into the pool after John and was quick to pull his brother to the surface. Virgil helped pull John out onto the side of the pool and slapped him hard on the back to help him cough up any water his older brother swallowed. John's arms buckled as he let out a howl of pain and Kayo grabbed Virgil's hand before it made contact with John's back again. John was coughing up a little more than just water and another wallop to his back could be disastrous.

“Are you sure you're alright to be home John?” Kayo asked him rather concerned.

“I'm fine.” John choked.

“John you're coughing up blood, your not fine.”

“So I’m not one hundred percent. Sue me.” He growled, trying to stand up. “I just wanted to be home and not stuck in some hospital on the other side of the world.” he got to his feet and wrung out his t-shirt. “I'm fine alright? Don't look at me like I’m on fire.” he aimed that last sentence at Virgil who had been staring, thinking of something to say. “You know for a fact I can't lie worth a damn.”

“No but you can defiantly evade things you don't want to talk about better than anyone else I know.”

“Oh bite me.” John snapped.

“What's gotten into you John?” Kayo now looked very worried. She had never been around him when he was annoyed and it was something she didn't like.

John took a deep breath. “Nothing, I'm just jet lagged and been pranked by Gordon.” he gave her a weak 'don't worry about me' smile. “There isn't anyone who'd be in a great state after that. If you guys excuse me, I think I’m going to turn in early.”

Scott dragged himself out of the pool and planted a wet arm around Kayo's shoulders. “They wouldn't have let me fly him home if he wasn't alright, Kayo.” Scott sounded doubtful. “Besides, I would have had a tough time keeping him in that tiny bed there anyway. I think he's just been thinking of seeing Alan and might be a little hurt that he hasn't spoken to him at all since he arrived. They've always been close and it's not normal for Alan to be mad at John for anything. It's complicated.”

“Someone should go after him, just in case.”

“I'll do it.” Gordon volunteered climbing out of the pool also and grabbing a towel. “You'd force me to apologize later anyway so may as well face the wrath now right?”

“Some how Gord's I doubt you'd have to face anything harder than a bruised ego.”

“That's fine with me Virge. I can live with that. John in need of cheering up is better than John planning revenge I can assure you.”

 ***

John leaned on Alan's bedroom door and slid down to the floor. Two flights of stairs after Gordon knocked the wind right out of him felt like climbing up the world's biggest hotel spire in Dubai, which only a few years ago Jeff made all the boys climb when they were on holiday just to see the view. If it wasn't so beautiful up there looking out over the vast expanse of ocean and the stars reflecting off it for miles, John would have pushed both his father and Scott off the balcony that was up there for suggesting it and forcing them not to use the elevator. He wouldn't have been the only one either, Both himself and Gordon had to carry Virgil back down the thing as there was absolutely no way any of them where going to ab-sail from the top, however Scott called his phone when they were half way down the stairwell to tell John that Alan got frightened on the way down and was stuck just dangling there off the side. Of course stupidly John had fallen for it and had gone all the way to the top again, forgetting his fears and make the leap over the side. There was no words for how mad John was when he finally touched his feet back on the ground, he could have killed Scott for lying and would have if Jeff wasn't quick enough to grab John to stop him.

Maybe that's why his dad wanted to stow him away up in a space station when he finally gives his big reveal to the rest of them what he wants them to do in the next few years? The fact that knowing his brothers could potentially end up in danger tended to bring the monster out in him. Maybe what his father was suggesting was for the best for everyone.

“You still in there Alan?”

John had not expected a response this time, he even had surprised himself that he had said it out loud.

“Go away John.”

John frowned. “Alan?”

“I said go away. You didn't keep your promise.” Alan seemed to be sitting on the other side of the door. How long he had been there would have been disputable. He could have been there all day.

“I'm sorry I missed your birthday Alan. It wasn't intentional.”

“It's not just that, you've been keeping secrets from all of us.”

“What secrets?”

“You promised to tell us about anything that was going to affect us and your keeping something big from all of us.”

“I wish.”

“Don't lie, it's not as if I haven’t over heard you and dad talking over the video phone.”

Oh boy, now what had he heard? John bit his lower lip. Could have been anything, as they had argued about everything and everyone being involved on more than one occasion.

“But Alan, I haven’t been keeping any -”

“GET LOST JOHN!”

John winced and slumped against the door, unsure of what to do. He told dad that he wouldn't tell anyone until it was time to. Jeff had this thing about doing dramatic reveals and wouldn't dare let anything slip until the time was right and if John wanted to still be a part of that, even if he knew he was going to end up on the distant end of everything.

He tried to stand up, only to slip over in a puddle of water from his dripping clothes. He didn't care if anyone heard him swear, the pain of landing on the sodden floorboards dominated everything else.

Stupid truck, stupid motorbike, stupid bloody John. That was it wasn't it? No matter how smart you think you are you're still a bloody idiot. Heck you're a bigger idiot thinking that your brother's still need you to look out for them. They are old enough to make their own minds up about what they want to do.

He stared at the grain work of the floor boards. Heck their father didn't think John was even good enough to be told anything and when he finally did, had told him he gets the most out of the way thankless job of the lot.

Stupid and useless. No wonder why none of them ever asked what he did for a job. They didn't care unless he was interested in them first. He had been looking forward to coming home and now he wasn't so sure he should have. Physically his body was screaming that he should have just stayed still in the damn hospital bed but he just didn't want to disappoint anyone by not being there as he always was, ready to pick them up if they fall.

“John? I thought you'd be in you room? What the hell are you still doing in your wet clothes on the hall way floor?”

“Sorry Gordon, I'll just get up and mop the hall way shall I?”

“I'm not joking around, John. We're pretty worried about you.” Gordon squatted down on his legs so he could be eye level with his older brother who was on all fours glaring at the floor as if he could burn a hole right through with just a stare.

“Who am I kidding? I'm a wreak and I haven’t even had three glasses of beer yet.”

“You don't drink.”

“As far as you know.”

Gordon twisted his lips, trying to hide his smug expression. Even when he himself had hit rock bottom, there was no way he could put up a fight like his brother. He pitied any woman who found his older sibling attractive but also in a way, hoped some lady would. There was one glaringly large chink in John's armor, something Gordon had found unusual over the years as neither Scott or Virgil had it despite their more outwardly compassionate sides. If you had a problem you need someone to physically sort out for you, you asked Virgil, if it was just form someone to prove you where right, you'd ask Scott. If you wanted to know you were not alone and needed to get a serious weight lifted off your chest, you spoke to John. Always without fail, when the emotional stick hit the proverbial fan, John was who you ran to. Unfortunately, it didn't work both ways, getting John to talk about things he clearly should with others was like trying to squeeze blood out of a stone. It wasn't as if his brother was an emotionless brick wall in fact he was far from it... John just didn't express much outwardly that you'd notice unless you were looking for them.

Over the years, Gordon had been quite good at picking up the subtle signs. After all John was the only brother who wouldn't rise to the occasion of shouting in an a verbal bashing but would ask if you were done yet when the storm had blown over.

“Come on you floppy rag doll.” Gordon grunted, helping his older brother off the floor. John didn't put up any resistance, he clearly knew he was not going to get up without help.

“Your as bad as our mother, calling me that.”

“Not as bad as you are. You're practically her splitting image.”

“Like you can talk, Gordon. You're part fish, just like she was.”

“Come on John, I’m trying to be helpful here.”

“I know, I'm just not used to it from you. Usually it's the other way around.”

Both brothers entered John's room and as John wrestled the t-shirt off, Gordon whistled. “Looks like someone has struck you hard with a baseball bat. Are you sure it was a motor cycle accident?”

“Very funny Gordon. It looks far worse than it is I assure you.”

“I’m just surprised it's very central, I'd have thought it's be down your arms and legs.”

“You're not very observant are you?”

“Well no, as I only check the ladies out and not my siblings.”

“Oh that's right your Teen Scream magazines Gordon Tracy, billionaire son of astronaut and business mogul Jeff Tracy, Marine Biologist and currently single.” John teased with a sarcastic smile on his face.

“It said nothing of the sort and it was Vogue magazine's fashion special.” Gordon stuck out his tongue.

“Did it get you any ladies?”

Gordon shook his head. “No. It's not as if I haven’t tried.” He started to help John as he peeled out of his bandages, only noticing that they were down his left arm as well, while his right was covered in black and blue bruises. If he had been more observant he would have thought twice about pulling him into the pool and have targeted Kayo when she had her feet dangling in the water instead. “ Any luck?”

“Me? No. A few dates, nothing further than that. It's hard to find a lady who finds me more interesting than a box of rocks.”

Gordon tried to work out what John meant. “Geologist?”

“Archaeology. If she was a Geologist, it would have made more sense.” He winced as the bandages that where directly on the weeping wounds on his chest and torso were slowly and carefully being removed. “No offense to the dinosaurs, but after five dates over a nice dinner... if the conversation winds up being about coprolite every time and you know your considered less interesting than animal bi-product, then yeah...” John smirked.

“Better than what I seem to attract. Marine biologist? I may as well have a sign around my neck that says 'Sea Shepard' and 'Green peace activist' or in some cases, 'murderer.'” Gordon sighed. “People either love or hate what you do and are too extreme in their opinions to give a damn that your a real person who tries to do an important job for a living.”

“I still say dad was a lucky bastard when he met mum.”

“Yeah, nothing says millions to one chance than a double date where your best mate ends up going home with your date and you end up driving his one home.”

“Good thing too, otherwise we wouldn't be here having this conversation.”

“Yeah yeah I know I know.” Gordon nodded. He took one look at John without the bandages and shook his head. “You're a mess.”

“Really? I thought road accidents where supposed to make you get awesome scars?” He grinned as his younger brother rolled his eyes. Score one for John and his dry, dark and flat sense of humor.

“I'm going to get the kit from the bathroom. Don't you dare lie down and fall asleep.”

“You could put an entire bottle of sleeping pills in my hot chocolate and I’d still be wide awake.”

Gordon left John alone with his thoughts, at least, long enough to wander down to the middle of the hall and into the biggest bathroom in the house and raid the cabinet under the sink. There was always a full first aid kit in there, when you live in a house with five boys, you tended to need one for any sort of emergency, wither it was Alan who fell from a tree and broke an arm, Gordon getting himself caught in a rip current down the beach or Virgil and Scott both pinning John to the floor in a game of 'Jungle speed.' He re-entered the room and took a deep breath as it was rather hard to see his older brother in the physical state he was. He looked as if mentally he was trying to dig himself out of a hole which didn't seem to improve Gordon's image either.

“Gordon?” John hesitated as his brother sat on the bed beside him. “Have you ever wanted to tell someone something because it concerns them, but didn't want to on the grounds that it could put their lives in potential danger down the track? Then kept it a secret because you know if you mentioned anything, you'd feel like you let someone else down?”

Gordon opened the first aid kit and located the alcohol sterilizing wipes used to clean wounds. As he opened the packet he replied, “I sense the words, 'us' and 'dad' being omitted out of that sentence.”

“No skin of your nose there, little brother.” John seemed a little distant when he spoke.

“Does this have to what dad's been building under the house?”

John nodded. “I know dad will eventually tell everyone what he's been up to down there, the thing that concerns me is he's going to expect us to all go along with it without asking too many questions about our own safety. Sure he'll give us the choice and his intentions are noble but how much are we all willing to risk our own lives?” He clicked his tongue. Sure, Scott will ask one or two but I had this feeling that I had a bit more say in it this time, not because of me finding out first but because I know what dad intends me to do in the little venture of his....and I’m not sure how I feel about it.”

“It's hard to give you an opinion when you are giving me so little information, John.” Gordon frowned.

“It's fine, I just needed to say something out loud as it's not making sense in my head either.”

“Did it help?”

“No. Though when the time comes, I'd be grateful if you ask questions of your own. Dad doesn't value my opinion as much as the rest of you.”

“I highly doubt that, John. Dad doesn't trust me as far as he can throw me and since I had a growth spurt a few years ago, it wouldn't be very far.”

“I'm serious Gordon.”

“So am I. Dad and I haven’t spoken since the last lot of holidays.” Gordon handed his brother one of the medical wipes.

“Well you did manage to sneak a baby fur seal onto the island.” John winced as he tried to clean up his injuries.

“I'm sorry if I have to bring work home with me sometimes.” Gordon pulled a face.

“There's a difference between bringing home an animal to study and dad finding it in the bathtub.”

“Where else was I supposed to keep the baby seal? It needed to be fed every few hours.”

“The pool would have been a more obvious choice – YEOW!” John let out a yelp followed by a hiss as Gordon applied pressure on John’s back.

“Sit still, the worst of it is in an area there's no way you will be able to reach. At least there's an upside.”

“And what would that be?” John grumbled flatly.

“Grandma won't need to scrub the tattoo on your back until the skin bleeds this time, you already did a brilliant job yourself.”

“How about I fling you into the side of a truck the next opportunity I get?” John hissed as Gordon applied pressure again in another area. “Your suppose to say, 'wow that's such a cool picture of a space shuttle on take off' and not go and taddle on me to our grandmother. I think when you where given your ability to pull pranks, you missed the other ways to rebel as a teenager.”

“Like in what way? Sneaking off to have a smoke behind the back of the house in one of the underground caves like Scott used to do?”

“Of course, that's part of being a brother. Must admit, those things where horrible!” John pulled a face that made his little brother chuckle. “Who mixes menthol with tobacco anyway? I'm so glad that did not catch on.”

“No but the love for bourbon did.”

“That was Virgil’s fault.” John exclaimed. “I only...” he waved a hand around. “Helped him along. I didn't expect to like the stuff. Have you ever heard him sing when he's had half a bottle? It's the most horrendous impression of Johnny Cash and Jimmy Barns I’ve ever heard and you can't make them worse than they are already!”

“The rites of passage in this family is terrible!” Gordon started to laugh.

“Well when you finally hit nineteen you'll have your own I hope to be in on.” John chuckled.

"Nineteen?”

“Yup.” John said it with a popping sound when he pronounced the 'P'. “We live closer to Australia and New Zealand out here in the middle of the pacific ocean so legally your already an adult. The only upside to you studying in the states is that you get your driver's license two years early.”

“You're a terrible influence, John.”

“I knew there was something about being the quiet one in the family that I liked.” John breathed out. “There had to be some sort of perk for being the second oldest. There's very few when your so close in age to Scott who's practically perfect at everything.”

“I don't know John, you seem to act pretty perfect yourself. You're not an easy person to live up to either.”

John looked at Gordon in sheer surprise. “I'm not perfect and I'm sorry if I’ve ever made you think that. I mean let's be serious here, If I was I wouldn't be doing everything I can to give you guys any support you need to make you guys look better than me, because you all do. Even dad thinks that. You can't tell me he doesn't because I know he's more proud of you guys than he's ever been. Just once I’d like to hear him say something nice about something I’ve done. No matter what I do I just can't seem to please that man.” John picked up a clean bandage and started to re-strap his left arm to cover the areas of scrapped skin. “Thank you by the way, Gordon.”

“Don't mention it.” Gordon snorted a bit of air. “I haven’t had a real conversation with you for a while. I miss them occasionally. Scott seems to always think somethings wrong when I try to have one with him and Virgil thinks I’m up to no good.” There was a smile that he gave that reminded everyone of a shark, crossing his lips. “He's usually right about that too. He's incredibly easy to outwit.”

They continued with their patch up job in silence, as if everything that needed to be said had now been out in the open and hung out to dry. That was another thing Gordon liked about hanging out with John, quiet moments were never weird or awkward as it felt like you were still having a great conversation without words. Why his other two older brothers couldn’t be like that he'd never know.

There was a knocking on the bedroom door followed by the voice of Grandma Tracy.

“Boys, your father has just flown in and has brought a guest with him. Come down stairs when your ready and give him a good, honest welcome, alright?”

“Yes, Grandma!” Both Gordon and John said in unison.

They could hear her walk a little further down the hall and repeat the same to Alan, with the exception of the line, “And I don't care if you're not talking to the rest of us, Your father expects to see all of you for dinner at the very least!”

“So much for making a situation less awkward.” Gordon rolled his eyes as he packed the kit away. John stood up and hunted for another shirt and a dry pair of trousers. “Want help fixing the bed? It's soaking wet from your jeans.”

“Nah, maybe later. I really need to clean this room. May as well do it in one swoop.” John found a long sleeved t-shirt this time and made sure you couldn't see any bandages underneath it and then pulled over a short sleeved one to make it look longer in length to hide any that would become visible if he sat down as the jeans he found to change into were not as high as the last pair. “Come on, can't keep them waiting.”

Down stairs in the living room, Virgil was chatting away very avidly to a young man wearing bright blue rimmed glasses. The poor man looked pretty nervous and would have been even more so if Virgil had greeted him with one of his usual hugs.

“So you're telling me that they are building another 'Hadrian Collider' in Alaska?” Virgil said, sounding excited.

“W-well yes, they are, h-however they are only just getting the funding through n-now for the first stage.” The young man stuttered.

“Man I'd love to see that in action once it's built.” Virgil smiled like a child who had just discovered a box of uneaten chocolates.

“W-well it will take a few y-year to be built.” The young man pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“Who's your new friend, Verge?” Gordon was the first to interrupt. John didn't need to, he knew who the man was. Clearly Virgil did too since the man's name was pretty famous in his field of expertise.

“Sorry Gordo,” Virgil caught himself before making a fool of himself in front of his brothers. It was rare he had someone around who had the same interest in engineering as he did. “This guy here is Horatio Hackenbacker, world famous inventor, engineer and scientist.”

“J-just call me B-brains.” the man said shaking Gordon's hand. “Y-you must be John Tracy? Y-your shorter than I recall.”

“Uh no that would be me.” John smiled. “That's our younger brother Gordon, marine biologist and Olympic athlete.”

“Ah y-yes, Mr. Tracy said he had five sons.” Brains smiled.

“Yes, well we're not alike.”

“No, because I don't have webbed toes.” John shook Brain's hand. “Nice to finally meet you in person.” he ignored a glare from Gordon as he knew he was going to pay for that comment later on.

“Wait a second, you know each other?” Virgil looked surprised.

“O-only because Mr. Tracy needed me to refer s-some coding that wasn't functioning properly.”

“Among other things.” John shrugged. “Sorry Virgil if I'd known who he was at the time I would have told you but there was a few things on my mind.”

“It's alright John, It's not the first time someone's had to refer code to you before. Debugging is a pain in the arse if you believe you can't find a fault in your own systems. I've sure as hell have had to once or twice.”

John just kept his poker faced smile going. If he wasn't allowed to say anything then neither was Brains. However, having him on the island meant that their dad was planning to tell them his plans for them all over dinner tonight. That made John visibly nervous.

“Where's Scott?”

All the boys looked up at Alan, who had his hands burrowed deep into his pockets.

“Kayo's father called so she asked if she could get a lift home. Scott won't be back until dinner.” Virgil answered.

“And where's dad?”

“H-he was going to see them off.” Brains stammered.

“Yes, And boy can Scott fly that plane.”

“Father?” Virgil said looking past Alan, the youngest Tracy also turning around to look at their old man.

“Dad! Your finally here!” Alan sounded relieved, as if he finally had someone other than one of his brother's to speak to.

“Father.” Gordon also acknowledged Jeff's presence.

John counted to ten before turning around and letting out a sound that pretty much signaled that he was dreading being around his dad. The big man, the famous astronaut that helped establish a colony on the moon, the one who no matter what, John would always be in his shadow. It was weird to feel like that around his father and not his older brother Scott who he always tells everyone is perfect at everything he does. Maybe it's because he doesn’t have to try to be anything other than a brother. He just looked at Jeff and straightened, the tension floated in the air. The motor bike accident had done something to John, something stirred under the surface that had been brewing there for many years.

Jeff could sense it from the other side of the room, with years of practice his sons had become easy to read. You didn't learn to look after five boys without picking up a trick or two. Unfortunately, just like his wife Lucille, John happened to be the one that was the hardest to understand, to talk to, to deal with. Even now, Jeff knew that he was going to have to have a chat to him before the talk with the other boys he had planned. Jeff was not looking forward to it.

“Did you open all your presents yet Alan? Grandma told me you held off doing so.” Jeff asked, trying to remain jovial. John visibly winced as he knew that was a jab aimed directly at him.

“Yes sir!” Alan chirped.

“You still haven’t opened John's.” Gordon piped up. After his chat with his older brother, he knew something was going on and was curious to know what it was. That and he was curious as to how something so damn heavy could cost so much and why was it so important to replace it.

Jeff was about to say something till Alan said stoutly, “Why should I? My birthday was last month so it doesn't count right?”

The words stung and Gordon was the only person in the room to notice John flinch, admittedly he knew it was coming. If anyone could stab an invisible dagger into his older sibling's heart, it would always be Alan. Sure not many twelve year olds appreciate what's done for them and take a lot of things for granted, until now Alan had not been one of them.

“Really? Why's that?”

“He's a over a month late dad. Why should I open something from someone who can't keep a promise?”

“Hey Al, cut John a little slack. Sometimes things happen that you can't control.”

“Shut up Virgil, it's none of your business. If you're so desperate to see what it is then open it yourself.”

John walked up and grabbed Alan roughly on the shoulder, something he'd never done before and spun the kid around. “Alan, you can be a little jerk to me all you want but not to anyone else understand? It's me you are mad at not them. Give it a rest already. If I'm the problem, I’ll just go back to Cape Kennedy as soon as Scott comes back. Heck, I'll just fly myself out right now, it shouldn't be that damn hard.” the last part was delivered to the air in general so that their father heard.

“Now knock it off boys, we have a visitor so play nice.” Jeff stepped in between them, before giving a stern look at John. “A word son. In my office.”

Usually there would be a 'yes farther', or a 'yes sir' but there was no way John was going to let his father have this one. He just shook his head and walked off in the direction of the office with Jeff following behind, pausing at the door and apologizing before closing it.

“Sorry about that Brains.” Virgil looked sheepish. “Things are a little messy around here at the moment.”

“You're not wrong there.” Gordon mumbled.

“Good riddance and don't come back. Hope your plane burns in mid flight liar.” Alan poked out his tongue like a spoilt brat.

Gordon grabbed his arm tightly making Alan yelp. Unlike John, Gordon had no mercy when it came to other people being nasty for no reason. Sure it was all fun and games till someone looses and eye and usually it was a new game called 'find the eye' but not this time. “What's your problem Alan? John misses a stupid birthday and your being a total jerk. Ever think there might be a reason why he didn't come on the day? You should still be happy he came at all. He could have just as easily have said no, as he doesn't have to always be there but he is. You know sometimes we keep things from others so they don't get hurt. If John is hiding something, it's for a good reason and maybe in time he'll tell us but right now it's none of our business. Your twelve years old now, it's time to grow up a bit and realise other people do things for your benefit even when they shouldn't have to.”

“Ow! Gordon your hurting me!” Alan squirmed trying to break from his older brother's grip.

“Good. Maybe you'll learn something from it.” Gordon gave Alan a Chinese burn before letting him go. Alan's arm was red raw and no amount of rubbing was going to make it go away.

“You didn't need to be so rough, Gord's.” Virgil warned.

“Sorry Verge.  Brains, it's been a really weird day and I'm afraid it might get a lot more worse.” Gordon visibly sagged. “How about you show Brain's around the place? Give him the grand tour and take Alan with you.”

“Anything to be away from you.” Alan retorted. “Come on Brains, I'll show you the kitchen! We have a huge solar powered oven!”

As Alan lead Brains out of the lounge, Virgil walked beside Gordon and kept his voice low. “You're not planning to eavesdrop on them are you?” he raised a curious eyebrow.

“Duh, what else do you think I’m going to do? Talking to John earlier got me rather worried about what dad's been building under the house this whole time. I know dad isn't a evil mastermind that pats a white cat while he plots world domination, but if it worries John as much as I think it does we've got every right to be worried too.”

Virgil slapped him on the back. “Let me know how it goes, I want a word for word replay.” He then hurried off to join Alan and Brains. Gordon found his usual comfy hiding spot that gave him the perfect place to lean his ear right up against the wall without anyone walking past noticing what he was doing. Last thing he wanted was Scott to come home and find him sitting there and start a game of twenty questions, or rather, one question repeatedly till Gordon was driven crazy and caved in.

 ***

“You haven’t told anyone have you John?”

“No. why would I when I know you’re going to eventually anyway. You're still going ahead with it I presume?” John watched his father carefully walk around his desk and take a seat in his chair. John refused to sit down, not this time, not ever any more. The world really could kiss his arse at this point, however there was no real point in having a shouting match. For a start, Jeff would win. He always did. “If you are then you're going to keep your promise?”

Jeff looked at his second son for a few moments than was necessarily comfortable. John wasn't about to show any signs of weakness, however he already had done so during previous phone conversations and just now, asking if Jeff was going to keep his promise. He had already set himself up for his own downfall without knowing it.

“John, I've had a long think about it... I've decided I no longer need your input in this venture whatsoever. I'm going to have Brains controlling everything from space as clearly you are unfit for the task. That also means I no longer have to train Alan to fly anything or control any machinery until he's eighteen like Gordon and mature enough to do things with his brothers. Since that is the case you're terms are moot. In other words,” Jeff took a deep breath, “You are to pack everything you own and you're to leave the Island tonight never to come back. Once this thing is in full swing I can't have you around to blow our cover. Don't forget to take Alan's present when you go. He won't be needing it since he won't be going anywhere until after he's done university like everyone else.”

John's expression didn't change. It was set like stone. After a while it softened, as if he couldn't fight any more. What was the point? His father had won once again. Typical, it was always stupid, useless John who got the sharp end of the stick. Forget the fact he was the one his brother's came running to when they were little and had night mares, forget the fact he was the reason Scott didn't start taking drugs when he had trouble in University or stopped Virgil from wasting his life away on alcohol or had pulled Gordon out onto the beach when he came off his surfboard and was caught in a rip tide... forget the fact he was the only damn person Alan would not cry with when he was a baby....the one that was always there, picking up the bits and pieces of the Tracy family when Jeff couldn't due to some job in another country or another.

“That's fine. As soon as it's sun rise tomorrow, I'll be out of your hair and gone for good. It will be better that way.” John spoke quietly. Jeff felt all the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, trying so hard not to show it, however it was the fact John reminded him of Lucille so much more now that sent chills down his spine and she could make Jeff feel like hell had frozen over when she got angry, just by being calm and under control with the fire clearly burning in her green eyes. The colour only John inherited to match the gold reddish blonde that belonged to her too. He was defiantly her son, right down to the mannerisms and the dangerous sense of humor.

“It's not like I ever borrowed any money off you in my whole life. I earned every penny and still do.” He placed his knuckles on the desk and leaned on them, his height making him look imposing, “It's funny, you've never once asked what I studied, where I work, what I do, you just assumed I didn't do anything special because I only look like mum and never took after her in anything else. I actually took after you more than you know. Take me out of your little organization your trying to create? Go for it and good luck trying to find someone to teach Brains how to cope alone in space, as you won't find a single person in NASA to train them on any modern or advance untested systems. Know why? Because you've just thrown out the best bloody rocket pilot in experimental crafts from NASA out of your own family. You know something? Sure I might not have liked the idea of being from afar in a space station when you told me but it would be the first time I'd ever get a good look at the stars from space since I’m never in a position to when I’m trying to launch satellites into orbit from a rocket without windows. Who'd say no to that? As usual, I’m always going to be stuck in your damn shadow.”

John's knuckles had gone white. Jeff couldn't take his eye off John's to look at them as all he could see was burning flames.

“See, that's my problem. I've always thought I was in Scott's shadow, heck even Virgil and Gordon's even though they are younger than me they've always been made out to be great amazing successes to be proud of. I just hope you don't screw Alan up the same way you've done to me. I bet if I was to die right now you wouldn't miss me.” he stood back up and looked away so his father couldn't see the tears that had been held back for so many years. “I'm going to pack and I'll make sure I leave as soon as it's morning and you won't ever have to deal with me again.” John then turned on his heel and slammed the door behind him as he left the office.

Jeff still sat in his chair, unsure what to think. He always assumed he was a great father and a role model to all his boys. He never realised John felt that way. Clearly taking him out of the picture was best after all. The thought that this could do a lot of damage to the boy didn't cross his mind, the total opposite was true – he thought this might build some character in his son as John was, as far as he was concerned, wasn't much of a man as his brother's were shaping up to be. He loved his sons and this was something that had to be done.

John had never been so angry before. He slammed the door of his bedroom and swore as loud as he could as right now he didn't care who heard. It wasn't as if Grandma Tracy could punish him any worse than his father just had. How could looking out for his brothers welfare be wrong? Isn't that what he always did, put them first? Why did dad think that that was a huge weakness in a person?

There wasn't any point packing anything, there was too much stuff to fit on a biplane. Heck he didn't even have the chance to unpack since he arrived on the stupid island. There was maybe one or two things he could take, but the decision wasn't going to be an easy choice. Most of it was stuck on the wall over his bed, the opposite side had two massive posters of both the southern and northern hemisphere’s stars right next to a really old and battered telescope, a long forgotten present from mum the year she vanished. That would have to definitely come with him, he wouldn't have such love for the night sky if it had not been for her.

He started taking pictures down, some of them making his heart break in two. There were beautiful paintings by Virgil, silly cartoons from Gordon and some really good attempts to have the best of both worlds in pictures by Alan. Scott couldn't draw but took some of the most amazing photos. Deciding which ones of those to leave with him was extremely hard. It was rather odd, not a single one of them had their father in them, despite how hard John wanted to impress the man. They were pictures of Alan as a baby, Gordon being a absolute horror, Virgil being sweet and some bad selfies where Scott had to take photos hugging his younger brother, a few of them the result of drunken parties.

Tears dripped on them. It wasn't as if he could stop himself. He put on his head phones, the ugliest chunky pair Virgil could find and also the most loved in the world, flopped back on his bed and said, “Computer, play John's tunes, track 32.” there was a click in the head phones as the wireless connection kicked in and music started to flow and wash over him. It didn't take long before sleep settled in too. Sometimes you just couldn't keep fighting and his body was starting to agree.

 ***

It was quiet around the dinner table with the exception of the kinking of cutlery on crockery. Scott didn't have much to say about his quick little fly out and Jeff pretty much had a lid on anything he had been up to. Gordon, didn't eat, he mostly pushed food around his plate.

“I wish John was feeling better,” Grandma Tracy said, just to try and get a conversation going. Meal times were never this quite in the Tracy house unless something was wrong. Even she was getting suspicious about her own son's secrets. “He's missing out on the take out.”

“Yeah it was a nice thought Grandma, I don't think anyone could have eaten your famous chicken wings tonight.” Virgil tried to lighten the mood. He succeeded getting a few smiles and a sharp warning stare from Grandma Tracy.

“Very funny Virgil.” Grandma Tracy tried to shrug it off. She knew she was an awful cook but the fact she still tried was a credit to her and the rest of them for being as equally stubborn trying to eat it.

“Well boys, I guess you've all been wondering what I've been working on under the house.” Jeff began his big announcement speech, “Also the added tweaks, like wiring everything up to the main office, living room...” He realised he was starting to waffle, coughed and continued, “I've been working here with our new friend Brains on building some pretty impressive machines, however we will have to do the grand tour another time as things are quite a mess down there...My proposition is to you boys, is that I'd like you to join me in this venture I wish to undertake.” He paused trying to think of the right words.

“We have been building some equipment with some new and untested technologies that we hope will be used when regular emergency rescue services cannot either be used, can go or arrive at in time. They will be used to save lives when no one else can. I'm asking you boys if you would be interested in helping me get the whole thing off the ground so we can start protecting those who need it.”

Jeff could see his son's were all interested, as they visibly shuffled and sat forward in their seats.

“It will all be done in secret of course, the last thing we want is anyone to use this experimental technology for war or to cause harm to anyone. It will take time to train you to use the machines of course, however it shouldn't be too hard for you boys as they will all play to your strengths so you will always be as a team and work together to get the job done.”

Only Gordon didn't seem fully sold by this idea. His second youngest son seemed to Jeff to have a lot of things on his mind, as typically he'd be the one almost leaping out of his chair at an opportunity like this. The lack of reaction was mildly upsetting. Hopefully the more he elaborates on his idea the boy might come around.

“Would you mind, Brains?”

“N-no worries, Mr. Tracy. A-although I’m concerned about these last two c-changes you gave me b-before dinner. I – I hope you've got replacements in mind w-whom you can trust.”

“Not to worry Brains. All in good time, please continue.”

“O-Ok then. F-first of all S-Scott, We where thinking that you'd be a g-great pilot for out rocket jet craft that travels faster than the s-speed of sound and c-carries all the light equipment of the operation team like a m-mobile control station, rescue harnesses and can also be re -remotely controlled if you have to pre-preform a mid-air rescue. I-I've been told your leadership an' calmness in any given s-situation will be very important in keeping the s-situation under control and secure for our other c-crafts if they are also required.”

Gordon watched as Scott seemed to nod along, entertaining the idea. The air force had been a little devoid of major challenges for him and he was itching to prove himself as a competent pilot outside of it. Of course, dad didn't really know that. Scott had never told father anything of the sort as the last thing he'd want him to know was that he found being in the military a bit on the boring side. So where did 'Brains' get his information on him from? Gordon could see his father feeling quite happy that Scott seemed interested and had his ego stroked but also noticed odd nervous glances in his direction that started to make him even more suspicious. Maybe John was right to be worried about them, something wasn't right. It didn't help that he wasn't present at this announcement either.

“F-for our heavy secondary equipment such as re-rescue cages, grappling claws, magnetic cables and transport for our other s-smaller specialized crafts which w-would be interchanged as the s-situation requires. I-it's a really big craft that can also be c-co-piloted and transport large groups of passengers in a big emergency an' is also the m-main way to transport our u-undersea craft around.” Brains managed to stutter his way through. Doing a lot of talking clearly wasn't the inventor's strong point. “I-I have good recommendations that y-you, Virgil would be suited to control the biggest and m-most versatile of the machines and that n-not only you get to pilot it you w-will also be able to c-control most of the specialty vehicles the s-same way. A-actually you all will in case Virgil n-needs to stay in control of the l-larger craft. Y-your skills in advanced technology would be perfectly s-suited for it. In-fact one of the little crafts will be a submersible because we h-have to cover every eventuality.”

Before Brains could begin to talk again, Gordon jumped in. “Let me guess, the water craft that gets totted around inside the bigger craft was designed for me in mind? Don't worry I can see where this is going, Scott's got an ego the size of a horse so it's got to be stroked in order to get him to consider anything and Virgil's modest so you don't have to tell him how much his various skills are going to be needed as he'd already know and you're about to flatter me with telling me that I have a area of expertise that no one else has in regards to anything oceanic?”

Brains looked at Jeff as if he knew something wasn't going according to plan. Jeff frowned and seemed to hold a glare, daring Gordon to continue with this nonsense.

“Just a few questions before you continue, Brains... though don't feel too obligated to answer them,” Gordon's voice was low and full of suspicion, “ Who exactly gave you your recommendations?”

Jeff was cut off by Brains before he could answer for the scientist.

“W-why John of course. I-I asked him to create some t-training simulation programs for each individual machine's c-controls and systems. H-he was thinking of you boys w-while he worked on all the pr-programing, s-saying 'if my brother's couldn't fly these things, t-than no one can.'”

“Hey do I get one to help out with dad?” Alan couldn't contain himself any more. If his brothers where all going to be doing something awesome, he was not going to be left out of it.

“In the future Alan, yes you will. Right now your too young, so we are going to have to train another pilot outside of the family to fly a rocket ship for space rescues.” Jeff sighed as he watched Alan's shoulders slump in disappointment. “I'm sorry Alan but so far your brothers all have experience in machines similar to the ones we are almost finished building and by the time you are old enough you will most likely only be used as a back up pilot until you gain enough of that same experience.”

“So I just sit around and watch everyone else go around the world and do all this amazingly cool stuff?” Alan snapped childishly. “I do that now already! I'm sick of being left out of everything all the time!” He pushed himself away from the table and stormed off towards the lounge room.

“Outside the family?” Scott queried. “But why when John can fly a rocket? He's a fully trained astronaut so wouldn't he be asked first?”

“I overheard him tell John he was a liability.” Gordon said darkly, not taking his eyes off their father. “I didn't hear much because John talks really quiet when he's angry and it was clear when he left your office that he was furious.” Gordon left out mentioning that he also looked really hurt as he stormed out of there after his little chat with their dad, last thing John probably wanted was Scott banging on his bedroom door to be demanded into telling him the entire story.

“I can't even have a private conversation around here without someone eavesdropping on it can I?” Jeff pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Not when there's so many secrets in this house, no.” Gordon tried to keep a straight face. It was hard, as sneaking around and eavesdropping was something he was notoriously good at. There were times that was the only way he ever found out about anything going on with his brothers and for him the act held no shame whatsoever.

Jeff clicked his jaw before leaning forward in his chair. Long ago he lost his power to intimidate his sons into behaving the way he thought they should. He blamed himself for being too soft on them, but it was only natural when they were all in a way as stubborn, pig headed and ambitious as he and their mother was. The only blessing was that his sons wanted to make a name for themselves in the world without him or rely on the family fortune to get them through life like most billionaire families. They were not selfish spoiled brats who felt above other people, but rather wanted to do things to improve humanity. That's why he thought they'd be all in for this idea of saving people's lives.

“John is a liability and even if he wasn't, he would be in a more suitable role, removed from the field operations and in internal communications. We need someone up in space to oversee all signals and communications between our craft and if something does go horribly wrong, can still function in a crisis. Your brother is not that person.”

Jeff placed his hands on the table. “What I’m putting forward to you boys is to be a part of something worth while, saving innocent lives when no one else can. It will be highly dangerous and I don't doubt there may be things going wrong all the time, all over the place. Having a person in the communications relay who cannot understand that is a dangerous thing indeed.”

Gordon thumped his hand on the table and made everything bounce a few inches in the air around him. “No that's where you're wrong father. I spoke to John earlier and until now didn't quite understand why he was worried. You're wrong because someone who cannot be emotionally invested in this venture doesn't exist and if they did, the lack of compassion would be disastrous. You need someone who would be able to assess the safety of each of us in any given situation and the emotional attachment could be the difference between sending one of us out into a death trap that no one would return alive from or having the correct back up to get us all back out in one piece.”

He stood up and shook his head. “If knowing that your in a position where you can potentially be useless and feel you cannot do anything to help unless you can send others to ground zero is considered a weakness and that training Alan is a waste of time due to his age then I don't want a part of this, as it has me outed from it both ways, as I'd also be in a position of uselessness under the ocean deeps at times and also considered too young to be down there in the first place making me a double liability.” He snorted. “Find yourself another stooge dad.” he grunted before heading out for the lounge room as well.

“Dad, I think we need to have a bit of a talk about this, otherwise you're not going to have any of us on board and it's going to fall flat on it's face before it even gets off the ground.” Virgil glanced at Scott and got a nod of approval. With Scott in his corner the two of them could be pretty tough negotiators.

 ***

Gordon found Alan trying to tear open the large present he refused to open earlier. Just the fact he could rip paper into little shreds seemed to ease the frustration he felt for being left out of something important again.

“Changed your mind huh?” Gordon leaned over the back of the sofa. “You know he'd never keep any secrets from us if he knew we were going to be hurt by them.”

Alan sighed heavily and tilted his head to one side. “I know, still doesn't mean I can't still be upset though.”

“If it makes you feel any better, you missed the part where dad also said that John wasn't good enough to be a part his little rescue outfit and by saying as such puts me in the exact position as you guys, redundant.”

Alan wasn't sure what 'redundant' meant, but by the rest of Gordon's sentence it didn't sound like a nice word. Gordon continued on. “You know John's been forced to leave the island right? Not just because you want him to go but because dad thinks it's better all around that he's not around here any more?”

“That's a bit much for me being mad at him.” Alan frowned. Usually when Alan threw a fit like that at John his older brother just gave him space until he calmed down and was willing to talk about why he was so upset. He had never done it to John in front of their father though and to him sending him away permanently was a bit extreme.

“I don't think it has anything to do with that... however,” Gordon reached over and tapped the present. “It might have something to do with you. Something that I think has gone unsaid.”

“You talk nonsense Gordon. I know your smart and all but don't try to act like John and Virgil on me... it's rather creepy.”

“Look Alan, I'm sure whatever it is, it's in that present. I over heard dad when he spoke to John in his office and he seemed pretty clear that there is something in there he didn't want you to have found before his announcement at dinner.” whatever it is, Gordon mused, it's going to make everything make sense. He could almost taste success in this whole ordeal. “Oh and be careful with it. Scott said it was expensive and he didn't sound too impressed he had to get another one.”

“Another one? You mean this had to be replaced?” Alan gave Gordon a confused look that could have made Virgil and his struggle to make sense of human speech while drunk a run for his money.

“Story for another time.”

“Pfft, as if. It's not like I can't hear you and your loud mouth when your in the bedroom next door to mine. Sure I couldn't hear John's half but I gathered something happened by the pool earlier today.”

“Uh, yeah... and something else.” Gordon opened and shut his mouth. He forgot Alan was a little sneak like himself when he wanted to be. Weirdly enough, both of them picked up that habit off John who used to eaves drop on their father and Scott's conversations, usually when it was Scott being in trouble, which gave his brother no end of amusement and leverage when Scott tried to get him into trouble for something else. “But that had nothing to do with your present. That was.. a prank malfunction.”

“I'm sure it was.” Alan rolled his eyes. He tore the rest of the wrapping and his eyes opened wide. “HOLY SMOKES! IT'S FREAKING HUGE!”

“Sheesh no wonder it cost over four grand.”

“It's cost what?”

Gordon coughed. “Nothing, I don't exactly know how much they paid.”

“You're a terrible liar.” Gordon poked out his tongue at his little brother and Alan ignored it. “I still can't believe it! I've always wanted one, I guess John got sick of me asking to borrow the one in his room.”

“I think it'd be far more powerful too, John would have had someone at NASA build it after all. It's even coated flame red. You are really damn spoiled.” Gordon couldn't hide the impressed smile on his face if he tried. No wonder it was so heavy, it was a giant telescope! “Hey, what's that?” Gordon pointed to a coloured envelope that seemed to be stuck to the telescope's box.

“Must be a card.” Alan peeled it off and opened it. It wasn't a birthday card. It was a letter, with a pamphlet inside.

“Or maybe some tickets to some huge astro-theater, I mean you love the stars as much as he does. NASA should have a huge place to study them in right?”

“Dear Alan, I was trying to think of someway to give you something that would not only be uniqu, but something that no one else would have thought of. And if Scott tries to give you flying lessons after he reads this, tell him I still got in first, happy birthday junior astronaut, love John.” Alan looked at the pamphlet and screamed excitedly, giving Gordon a fright, falling onto the chair face first.

“What is it Alan!?” Gordon picked himself up off the floor where he inevitably landed head first after rolling off the couch trying to prevent landing on his shoulders.

“”No way.... I-I can't … NO WAY! TOUGH SNOT DAD I'M GOING TO BE AN ASTRONAUT INSTEAD!” Alan shouted gleefully, leaping off the chair and dancing around.

“What are you on about?”

“THIS!” Alan waved the pamphlet in his older brother's face. “Grandma told me that after dad retired from being an astronaut, NASA set up a junior program to train kids between the ages of ten and fifteen to go into space and live on a space camp they had set up on the moon for three months! Only kids who are super intelligent ever get invites to this place and even then only so very few who are selected to go up in a rocket to the moon base!”

“Then how in the earth did John manage to get you an invite into that?”

“Easy!” Alan opened the paper out and pointed to the part where there were pictures of the astronauts that do all the training for the program and grinned like an idiot. “John's one of the instructors!”

“John told me you've never asked him once what he did for a living.”

“Course I haven’t I don't need to, same as I never have to ask you.” Alan cocked his head to one side. “The two of you are pretty famous, even when people haven’t made the connection to dad yet! Sure, Scott and Virgil do awesome things too but they are not as well known as you guys are. One of my science teachers thinks your the bee's knees and another one keeps asking me if John's single.” Alan smirked. “Don't ever mention that to him though, don't want him to get any ideas. Miss Flak is drop dead pretty though.” He stood back up again, bouncing on his heels. “I hope John's going to forgive me for earlier, I have to thank him right now!” Alan then made a dash for the stairs that lead upstairs to the bedrooms. Gordon thought about following suit and thought better of it, it wouldn't hurt to give Alan a few minutes to settle their brother's ruffled feathers if he hadn't tried to do so himself already.

Really, a select few huh? Gordon looked at the pamphlet. There was a high chance only one or two got selected a year and if they where lucky maybe one got to leave orbit for a short while before panicking and wanting to come back down to the ground. His dad used to call it 'terra firma syndrome' or something, as even trained and experienced astronauts got it too after months of being in space without their loved ones. Gordon suspected he had suffered something similar in a submarine while he trained in it before, the feeling of panic inside a tin can miles away for any attempt at rescue and salvation could give anyone the willies, especially if you knew that you were going to die. He considered eavesdropping on whatever was left of the dinner table conversation and decided against it. If Virgil was involved there was a high chance the bargaining process was going to be a long and complicated one that was not worth sitting through until Scott was able to turn it into easy to understand summaries. He yawned. Ok Alan, you've had long enough, I'm going to join you guys.

Alan gently pushed John's bedroom door open as it wasn't properly closed and hit the light switch on so he didn't trip over anything in the shambles John's room was usually in, his older brother had a system of 'I know exactly where I put it and can find it if you don't touch anything' attitude to bedroom organization which seemed to everyone else non-existent and made his room look like a paper bomb had exploded. John looked asleep, big ugly headphones hiding most of his features.

Alan would soon fix that.

He jumped onto his older brother's bed and dug his knees into his brother as he usually did to annoy him and get him out of bed. John was usually a light sleeper and would grab Alan and wrestle him till both had fallen on the floor and Alan running off challenging him to a race to the kitchen. The lack of reaction took him by surprise. He grabbed his brother's headphones and put them around his neck and tried to wake him up the good old fashioned way of being simply annoying. That's when he noticed John's face was slightly tinged blue at the lips and there was a bit of blood on the sheet where his brother's head had lay.

Gordon was just walking up the stairs when Alan ran straight out of John's room, spotted him and shouted, “John's not breathing! You've got to help!”

Gordon grabbed Alan by the arm and pushed him up the stairs, trying to get him to hurry up. Alan let his older brother into the room first and hung back nervously, hoping that John wasn't dead.

“He's going to be ok, right Gordon?”

Gordon was trying to concentrate on his brother's pulse and eventually said, “Alan I need you to come here and do something for me.”

Alan obeyed very reluctantly. He was terrified that he told his brother to 'go away' and right now could loose his sibling all together.

“Alright he is breathing, it's very shallow and barely noticeable.” He gave his younger brother John's bandaged left wrist and positioned two fingers so Alan could feel a slow but faint pulse. “Alan, Can you feel that?”

Alan nodded.

“You need to tell me if it changes ok?” Gordon was certain his little brother would do as he was told. It wouldn't be the first time he's had to keep track of a pulse, the last time was for himself as it was used as a distraction. It was times like this he really admired his older sibling, never thinking he would have to return the favor. “Right, ok... I will be right back, don't let go ok?”

Gordon darted out and slid into the bedroom across the hall way that was his own, Rummaged through the bottom of his wardrobe until he found a full scuba diving tank and a partial face mask, playing with the valve to make sure the air tube wasn't blocked. He hadn't used his equipment since he left for university so there was a chance it needed to be replaced but he was desperate. CPR wasn't a strong point for him, only just passing his first aid training for his initial undersea trip next year and the last thing he wanted to do was do it badly and kill his brother in the process, especially if the injuries he helped treat earlier might be internal. He wouldn't have been able to check if there was, John wouldn't have let their oldest brother look him over let alone anyone else, he had been very lucky to be in a position where John needed assistance earlier that day.

Alan had a look of sheer hope when Gordon returned, ungracefully dropping the air tank on the floor. Gordon was careful not to look at him too long so Alan didn't get the impression he was completely winging it and he knew what he was doing.

“Still feel it?”

Alan nodded. It was the only thing keeping him from crying. It wasn't easy, Gordon knew all too well how much their brother meant to him.

Gordon had a lot of respect though, even if it wasn't the same amount he had for Scott, or the level of appreciation for a sophisticated conversation he got with Virgil, he couldn't deny John was the one you went to for other normal brotherly things that while pretty boring, were always pretty important.

“Alright Alan, if this works I'm going to get you to go and grab either father or Scott as they are going to be able to figure out how we get him to a hospital. There is no way he can get into a jet or a bi-plane and I doubt getting a helicopter from Wellington in New Zealand to fly all the way out here is going to be the only option we have. Even if that's the case we are going to need more than hope that he will survive the flight.” Gordon tested the valves on the air tank again before placing the mask on his brother and slowly letting air into it.

“IDIOT!” he shouted, giving Alan a scare, the kid almost falling backwards off the bed. “You should have been more careful!”

Alan looked at Gordon, confusion buried under his expression of panic and worry.

“Sorry.. Look Alan, John shouldn't have come home. He was in an accident and was in hospital on your birthday. He only came home not because of dad's announcement but because he was worried he already disappointed you for not being there for you. I don't think he'd have cared much about anything else besides.” Gordon sighed reluctantly. “Ok he might have been fine if Virgil didn't crush him with his bear hug and I didn't dunk him into the pool as a joke.” He quickly wiped away a tear that was threatening to show he had a soft spot for his brother too. It didn't look right if he was supposed to be the stronger one here. “I'm sorry Alan.”

“You don't need to be sorry. Just don't let him die.”

“I don't know if I can do that Alan, I can't work magic. This is only going to work for a little while, I don't really know what else I can do.”

“You might have just given them some time.” Alan let go of John's wrist and gave Gordon a hug. Sometimes you just had to let your younger sibling tell you what to do to help put things into perspective.

“Alright, you stay here while I go get them.”

***

John groaned. He wasn't meant to fall asleep but he had been so sore and tired it was eventually inevitable. Looking up at the lights on the ceiling he frowned. Didn't I doze off in my bedroom? That isn't my bedroom light.... he blinked bleary trying to adjust to the brightness. He tried to sit up but something was really heavy on his right am. Glancing, all he could see was a mess of ash blonde hair. Alan was hugging his arm tightly as if it was for dear life, sleeping peacefully. He could also hear snoring so that meant Gordon was in the room somewhere. He had lost count of the amount of times he had either one of them hiding out in his bedroom when they were little to have him protect them from monsters. Something must have happened while he was asleep.

“Oh good, you're alright.”

John turned his head to look at his brother Virgil who was sitting by his left arm on the bed. Despite there being a two year age difference, a lot of people mistook Virgil for the second oldest son because there was times he had maturity beyond his years. That didn't mean he didn't make the odd stupid decision from time to time, but did make far less of them.

He tried to speak but he felt like his mouth was full of cinnamon, very dry and difficult to swallow. What came out was a croak that barely made any sense.

“What was that? It's sounded like murrmmer marmmumble.” Virgil joked. Clearly having his older brother incapacitated was highly amusing.

“ 'ery funny.” John managed a bit clearer the second time. “Where are we?”

“Home, But you dear brother are getting first hand experience in the medical facility dad had built under the house.”

Events slowly seemed to pool together in one huge gelatinous blob. “Medical fac...”

“Yes sir ree – bob!” Virgil cut off his brother's question. “Apparently some suggestion you had made to Brains about the possible dangers dad's new enterprise was going to put us all in promoted him to build one. All machine operated too.” Virgil sniffed. “I wish I was asked, I'd have love to be here to build it.” he looked around the room. “Damn good idea if you asked me, one of your better ones.”

“Hang on... did I completely miss something here?” John finally managed to get a hold of his tongue to produce a coherent sentence.

“You've been out cold for several days.”

“I've been what?”

“Calm down, John. We had to bring you down here because Alan and Gordon had found you in a bad way. You did give dad a scare when you did stop breathing before we did anything down here though.” Virgil seemed to divulge information that he might not have been supposed to as his expression was thoughtful and then changed to 'ah to hell with it' as not telling his brother the full story was never a good idea.

“There was still a tiny piece of shrapnel from the motor bike accident that they didn't find at the hospital. When I hugged you when you arrived I must have pushed it further into your chest. Actually not quite your chest, more into your airway tract. The fright you got when Gordon pulled you into the pool also made your muscles contract around it so it cut into it and made you bleed. You're lucky to still be alive.”

“So that's why I feel like I’ve eaten dry sand.”

“You sound like you've swallowed gravel but you get the idea that it was pretty bad.” Virgil found this amusing. “Scott had to come clean about your accident. Dad went completely spare. Mind you it didn't help that we all turned on him and his proposed ideas for giving back to the world.”

“Oh gawd no.” John shut his eyes tight. “Tell me you all didn't verbally commit assisted sibling suicide? I could have done that all on my own!”

“If by assisted suicide, you mean we all said no to father's proposed plan because we didn't agree with some of his decisions he had made, mostly the fact that you were going to be completely taken out of the whole organization altogether despite all the work you did for Brains trying to smooth all the bugs out, then yes, I think we did.”

John flat out refused to look at his younger brother and remained keeping his eyes shut. “Why?”

“Because despite everything we need you John. Every single one of us. Gordon worked out that you must have tried to get dad to agree on getting Alan some training in as well to fly one of the machines himself.”

“Oh? I thought dad wouldn't bring that up?”

“He didn't. Gordon realised when Alan found the pamphlet for the space camp in his present. It makes sense really, you can't leave Alan out of something this big and expect him to sit out while we all go off and do something dangerous.” Virgil smiled. “The fact he seems to think your going to train him to be an astronaut really made him happy too.”

“Someone had to. Alan's a smart kid, he needs to be given the chance to prove it.”

“I agree, though it took some convincing to get Scott to warm to the idea. Did you know it was Gordon who gave dad the ultimatum and not us?”

John tried to look in the direction of the snoring he heard earlier. Gordon must be asleep on the floor somewhere since he is out of eye sight. Absently, he ruffled Alan's hair.

Virgil continued. “He said, and I quote: 'If your a liability and Alan's too young then he's caught coming and going and can't be included in this venture either.' or something along those lines.” Virgil seemed to muse over it. “And he's right. It would go for me too emotional wise. I don't think I could handle it if things went south faster than I could prevent them. Sometimes you need someone on the end of the line who can talk you through it and make you see sense... and keep Scott's temper under control.”

“No one can stop Scott going completely rouge on us. Even I can't do that.”

“Hey don't ruin my argument here.” Virgil poked out his tongue. “Sure we understand that being stuck in a space station only being on the communications end can be boring and emotionally gut wrenching when the stick hits the fan but you need someone who can empathize and talk you through it so you can solider on and see it though to the end. Sounds like a horrible job but one that's important if this thing dad wants to do is to work.”

“I didn't think about it like that. I was just more concerned about not being able to take a shower for months at a time.”

“I call pig's bum.”

“Of course. Was trying to make you feel better about the potential of having a brother in exile if dad ever sees sense.”

“After this I think he just might. Your just as important as any one of us.”

“I suppose you have to tell him I’m awake now right?”

“Yeah, but I don't feel like it. Let him worry a little while longer.”

“I can live with that.” John smiled. That was the last thing he wanted to do was talk to his father. If all things worked out, dad will get his rescue organization and his team running around saving the world when everything was good to go in two years time.

The Tracy's all working together to save those in need? he'd like to be a part of that.

 

 PRESENT DAY 

"Coming in hot John, you need to slow the jets."

John fiddled with the control sticks for the engines and while he could get half of them to exert less, the craft started to go into a dangerous tail spin. Warning lights were flashing all over the cock pit.

"Something is wrong with the heat exchanger in one of the engines. The molten metal in the reactor is frozen solid and the excess is over heating the Cooling vanes." John tried to re-ignite the engine in question as the ignition should loosen it enough to melt the liquid metal inside but to no control.

"Come on, work damn it!" He barked in frustration. Thunderbird one was now fully out of control in a nose spin plummeting at speed towards the runway of Tracy Island with no way of stopping.

"Pull her up John!" EOS's panicked voice flooded the coms. "Pull up, circle and try to slow her down and aim for the runway. I can try slowing you down with the foam jets before impact."

"FAB." John tugged hard on the control sticks to try and get Thunderbird one to comply. The rocket continued to barrel but was able to be rolled off and leveled out while still in a death spin directed away from the island. The rocket then swung in a wide arc back for the island, the malfunctioning reactor finally exploding and engulfing the rear of the craft in flame.

John opened the cockpit hatch way and knew he was far too low to use the ejector seat and there was every chance it could impale him into something killing him instantly. Unfortunately the other option was to remain inside as it crash landed and Thunderbird one was not build to stop him dying on impact either.

"What are you doing John!" EOS wailed. 

John looked the coms camera dead in the center and said, "Tell them...Tell them all that I'm sorry."

He then made a jump for it.