Legacy: Fragments of John Tracy, Starman (Pt 1)

 This is an old collection of fictions getting revamped and getting recollected so they all fit together. They were original written as one off stories that eventually became a series and I feel they need alot of editing and cleaning up to they truly belong together.  You can read the original Alternative Universe stories on Ao3 (see fan fiction archive link in fan fic page) in their messy unedited format still if you wish. I don't feel like re-posting this version there as they kind of already exist there, but I will be adding back in all the original artwork that Ao3 took down to them again.

 

 Present day

 "Wake up John, it's a brand new day."

The lovely soft tones of EOS sang happily though the alarm clock that sat on the beside table. There was a slight groan but eventually two feet touched the floor and a forty seven year old John Tracy forced himself out of bed. yesterday had been a long day and this one hopefully held the promise of doing some maintenance on some machinery and other things that were left to the way side thanks to an emergency in West Africa involving two airships that had accidentally collided mid air. It had been a hard one, but he managed to pull it of with no casualties, though he didn't get off scot-free.

 "How's the arm feeling today?" EOS chirpy voice continued to dance around, jumping from different electronic devices. She had free run of all the technology on Tracy Island now since Brains and Muffy had moved on leaving John the soul remaining member left running International Rescue and saw it as her responsibility to make sure he was fighting fit and wasn't left alone.

Scott had long since retired, eventually settling down and having kids back at the old farm in Ohio, Virgil now ran a huge mega engineering conglomerate and had pioneered new technologies to help people live more Eco-freindly and sustainable lives, Kayo was now head of the Global Defense Force, Gordon had also gotten married and had kids and for the moment had dropped off the face of the planet, though the truth was alot stranger than that - he and Lady Penelope had joined the Mars colonists and had lived there the last three years...and Alan well, Alan was racing Hover cars for sport and had made a pretty decent career out of it and was now living his life out in the city of neon lights,Tokyo.

"I can move it, I guess that's a win right?" John mused aloud.

"Not funny John, that fall was from a pretty decent height. You could have been killed."

"Nah." he waved it off and he pulled on some clean clothes and headed down the hall towards the stairs that lead to the living room. "Many have tried and so have I, all attempts at that failed spectacularly. If when and where it happens, hopefully it's be fast and painless."

"That's tasteless John and you know it."

John smiled, scratching the scruffy hair on his chin. "Very well EOS. You win this time." 

He walked slowly into the circular cut-away seating area of the lounge room and stood in front of the coffee table. "What have you got for me today?"

The large empty room illuminated with the light from the huge hologram from the coffee table, tired eyes scanned all the reports, news articles and of course official complaints from the GDF and the World council.

"John?"

"Yes EOS?"

"Tell me again...why your still doing all this? I overheard you talking to Scott and he didn't seem impressed you we still running International Rescue."

John's smile never left his face, though this time there was a hint of amusement in it. "I don't think any of them are. If I can be honest with you EOS, I don't quite know why either. I guess it's because there's nowhere else for me to be. Besides I like helping people, that isn't a crime."

"It sounds like it according to the GDF."

"Ah, Kayo's forgotten how much she loved not being a stickler for protocols and the like. she's forgotten how to have fun." The grin widened. "Plus her divorce with that... ah damn forget his name...Ridly? anyway that sucked the last of her wild streak right out of her."

"You still love her."

"Yes... yes I guess I do. But that is long since over. Two failed marriages and the fact I can't produce any kids might be a sticking point in ever wanting to get back together."

"You did bring that on yourself, John."

"I know EOS, I know." he sighed. "Let me know if.. anything comes up."

The light of the holotable died and John made his way down to the kitchen, leaving the living room empty and silent.

 

FLASH BACK ( original unmodified version can be found here )

The funeral was like something out of a bad film. There were families of other scientists there that had also lost loved ones when the Star Ocean vanished on that fateful day all milling around the wake for people who would never be returning home. There was the odd child, but no one had as many at attendance than NASA astronaut, Jeff Tracy. Compared to alot of people there, he was still rather young and was aware of all the looks of pity he was getting, for both him and his children. The youngest was back at home with his mother, because a funeral is no place for a baby, however the other four boys were as it would be the last time they will have anything to do with their mother.

Little Gordon and little Virgil would not let go of his hands. In a way that also brought him a great deal of comfort, as he had to put on a really brave face so his son’s wouldn’t keep crying. His other two son’s had wandered off - Jeff suspected - to play or harass other children who were also trying to get their heads around the idea they no longer have a mother or a father anymore.

Scott had found himself standing at the front of the building where the wreaths were laid, pulling out the flowers in frustration. Pity, he had decided was not something he wanted from anyone. His mother was gone and to have strangers rub it in was the biggest insult to the nine year old. Jeff’s friend, Kyrano also had his daughter Tanusha there, and she was helping Scott dismantle the display with wild and enthusiastic abandon.

Jeff hoped that when they finally got back home the only problem he had to face was a few months of baby Alan’s non-stop crying for his mother. After scanning the room, he knew that it wasn’t going to be likely.

The reason he brought the boys to the funeral was to try and get them to accept the fact that their mother was never going to come home again, give them a chance to talk and maybe understand the new situation at home, maybe even let them cry a little. He had hope that this would have been the case for all of them but as his gaze wavered towards the huge windows on the far side of the room he knew there was going to be problems for a while longer yet. His friend and employee Kyrano was standing there next to Jeff’s second eldest son, who was just staring out the window at the surrounding city.

John was going to be a big problem.

When Jeff was left at home to look after the boys while Lucille was off doing some scientific research, John was always in and out of hospitals and hardly ever on the island. The only time Jeff had much to do with his son was when he had to shoo him out of his mother room while she was pregnant with Alan, as John never left his mother’s side when he was allowed back home to stay. Jeff knew the boy was forever going to be his mother’s son, and not his.

What do you do with a kid who never speaks to you? Even Kyrano, who was next to him didn’t seem to be getting much out of him either. Raising these boys was going to be the biggest challenge in his life.

That night back at the house, Jeff wasn’t having any luck with the youngest in the family. Alan would not stop crying. He was giving his mother a break as apparently the baby had been crying at the top of his lungs the entire day. It was only natural for him to want his mother, but Jeff was struggling to keep it all together.

His mother had gone to tuck the other boys into bed, spending time talking to each of them to make sure that they were all alright. Gordon and Virgil had both forgotten their tears the moment they walked into the house and ran over to their toy box in the living room and Scott had sat with them until he was sent to bed early for getting rough with them and trying to boss them around. John, just like he had done at the funeral sat in front of the large living room windows, staring out into nothing.

Grandma Tracy and Jeff had a little talk about what they should do with him but didn’t get any solutions as Alan was currently the main priority. It is really hard to think when a child is screaming so loud and so hard that sounds start fade out as their voices get sore.

She found her grandson sitting on the floor of his room with books about space open in front of him. After awhile he looked up and realising she was going to stay sitting on the end of his bed until he crawled into it and went to sleep. Reluctantly, John stood up and climbed into his bed.

“Is everything alright dear?”

“Mum’s not coming home is she?”

“No.”

“She might you know.” John said hopefully. “Scott said they never found her body so she can’t really be dead right?”

Grandma Tracy sighed. “Maybe. But she still isn’t coming home.” Surely the boy understood what that meant. She was aware that he was quite intelligent but also wanted him to decide whether or not it meant she was dead.

“Doesn’t she like us anymore or something?”

“I don’t think it’s anything like that Johnny.” Grandma Tracy smiled sweetly. “Sometimes things happen and people can’t come back.”

“Is that what happened to Grandad?”

“Yes. He left and didn’t come back.”

The little eight year old thought it over for a few minutes. “He didn’t like us either huh?”

“No, he loved us very very much. Your mother does too.” Grandma Tracy kissed the boy on the forehead. “The important thing is that we remember them and in a way, when we do, they are never really gone.” She poked him in the chest. “If you always keep them in your heart, they will never truly have gone away.”

“So she isn’t coming back, but then she never really left?”

“That’s it kiddo.”

“Huh.” John found himself smiling and then giving his grandmother a big hug. “Thank you Grandma.”

“No, thank you Johnny. Now get some sleep.”

After she turned off the light, she checked in on the other boys again. Satisfied, she headed back to the living room to relive her son from the unsettled baby, and shooing Jeff himself off to bed, telling him that he would be no good to the boys if he didn’t get any sleep.

Hours passed that seemed to feel like forever. Pacing around the house patting Alan’s back and bottom was not working, singing to him wasn’t doing anything and even though he was quiet long enough to be fed mashed banana he still kept on wailing. Exhausted, she sat on the couch with the crying child squirming on her lap, trying to bounce him to sleep. She may have been tired, but it didn’t mean she couldn’t hear anyone sneaking around the living room.

“Freeze mister.” She said jokingly. “What are you doing up?”

John stood in the middle of the living room floor embarrassed. He was trying to sneak over to the window without being noticed so he could watch the stars.

“Can’t sleep.”

Grandma Tracy patted a spot beside her on the couch and John sulkily walked over to sit down. She adjusted Alan on her lap and the change of position made the little six month old stop crying for a brief moment, before he let out another wail.

“I’m sorry about that John. I don’t blame you for not wanting to stay in bed.”

“It’s ok. I know I shouldn’t be up but I really wanted to see the stars before I fell asleep.”

“You’re fine kiddo. Your father and mother were like that too.”

Alan had stopped crying, coughed and snorted, then looked directly at his older brother. Grandma Tracy noticed the change in the little ones wriggle, going from fighting her grip to bouncing around with excitement.

“Is he all right Grandma?” John asked noticing his little brother’s change in behavior.

“I think… I think he likes you John.” Grandma Tracy sounded surprised. Alan looked up at her, then back at John, then let out an excited noise and wriggled, his arms and legs going everywhere.

“Ah Da!” Alan shrilled and smiled with a squealing sound. He was trying to laugh, but after crying as much as he had that day he could only manage a high pitched squawk.

John, fascinated, tapped his brother on the nose. Alan squealed happily and grabbed John’s finger and tried to stick it into his mouth. Alan’s tiny grip was fairly strong, so John just let him have it. Grandma Tracy watched as Alan seemed to investigate his brother’s hand, pulling it this way and that as if he was studying it. She also noticed the soft curious smile that had seeped into her other grandson’s features, something she was pretty certain she had never seen before. Sure, John must have smiled alot because no kid ever can hide one away, but John never did in the presence of other people, even his other siblings. He was a really shy kid, something that didn’t fit well in a house full of noisy children.

“Would you like to hold him?”

“I- I don’t know how!”

“I can show you if you really want to.”

John looked at the bright wide eyes of his baby brother and something silent seemed to be exchanged between them.

“Yes please Grandma.” He smiled wide and full of excitement, just like his sibling. Grandma Tracy showed him how to hold his younger brother and was impressed at how fast John got the hang of it. He wasn’t a bad kid, just misunderstood. In one way she really wished he had gotten the chance to interact with his siblings far more than Jeff and Lucille let him. He probably felt isolated. She did have a few worries of her own however, she just hoped things would work out alright.

***

The days passed lazily, Jeff took Scott and Gordon down to the beach to try their hands at fishing to try and distract them from destructive forms of behavior which both had started to display, usually with each other. Jeff thought this would be a good way to get them to stop before they started taking it out of their other siblings. Gordon was already shouting at everyone and that was enough of a problem on it’s own.

John sat at the window every day and slowly Grandma Tracy, when she needed a break from Alan’s tears would place Alan on the floor beside him. Once he was on the floor Alan started to randomly babble and try and string sentences together and roll himself over and into his older brother, who after a while of having the baby slap him on the leg or the foot, would tickle and start playing with him. It was a slow thing but eventually John was picking Alan up and carrying him around everywhere and the crying that Alan was doing when anyone else would hold him stopped when he knew John was near by.

It meant Grandma Tracy could concentrate her energies on Virgil, who had sort of reverted into himself and started avoiding the family altogether. She would always find him drawing in a book either in his room or behind the living room chairs, somewhere he couldn’t be annoyed or picked on when Gordon decided to throw a fit at anyone he saw was in range.

She couldn’t work out what he was drawing, it seemed to be something different everyday. Sometimes, she would catch John sitting beside him quietly with Alan, the baby trying to make a grab for Virgil’s moving pencil, John just watching his brother draw. She wished Jeff was able to see it but he already had his hands full trying everything to expend the spontaneous energies of the other two to keep them out of mischief.

Eventually Jeff did have to get another line of work as working for NASA wasn’t going to keep the household afloat. He got a job in engineering and after a few months, managed to become the head of the company. The problem with that however, meant he was no longer home as much as he should be with the boys, leaving his mother in charge of them for weeks at a time.

This was when the trouble started.

***

“Gordon, what are you doing with Virgil’s sketch book?”

“Nothing, I didn’t take it!”

“It’s right there underneath the broken bit of pipe!”

“It’s mine, not Virge’s.” Gordon poked his tongue out.

John had left Virgil a new book to draw in beside his bed and within half an hour it had gone missing. He spent most of the morning looking around the house for it until he found Gordon outside by the pool with a stack of rocks on top of it and a pipe with a rag stuffed into it, along with shredded pieces of the sketch pad.

John tried tugging it out from under the mess Gordon had left on the patio and stopped when he heard a hissing sound from inside the pipe Gordon had stuffed other things into.

“What’s in there Gordon?” he asked, looking up just in time to see his younger brother trying to light the rag with some matches. “What are you doing!” John tried to grab his brother but Gordon was too quick darting out the way just in time and John ended up head first into the pool. The older of the two was dragging himself out on the other side, only to see Gordon managing to set the rag on fire.

“FIRE IN THE HOLE!” Gordon shouted, making a run for the nearest bushes.

The pipe began to smoke, the paper inside it started to burn and whatever had been inside that was hissing exploded. Bits of pipe, rocks metal and rag flew everywhere and had quite an impressive blast radius. Something had shot out of it and smashed through the windows of the house that lead into the kitchen.

Jeff headed outside at a run and his eyes laid to rest on the destruction that had been left on the patio. He scanned the area for the culprit and his eyes landed on John, who had curled up into a ball to avoid being pelted with rocks. He walked around the pool and grabbed his son, dragging him up onto his feet and pulling him by his shirt, dragged him to the shattered window of the house.

“Got anything to say for yourself?” he demanded. “Well?”

John didn’t answer, his ears were still ringing.

“Answer me boy!”

“It wasn’t me!”

Angry, Jeff pulled his son by the arm until he was a few feet from a half exploded canister of hair spray that was sitting inside the kitchen, in a lovely pattern of shattered glass. “That wasn’t you was it?” he said sarcastically. “Do you have any idea how dangerous what you just did was? You could have killed yourself!”

“But it wasn’t-”

“Go to your room! NOW!” Jeff growled. “Don’t you dare come back down until you admit that you are a liar and that you destroyed the window with a homemade explosive!” he took a deep breath. “Then you are going to help Kyrano clean every single inch of glass off the floor, do you understand me?”

Terrified, John nodded. He had never seen his father so mad before.

“I swear I thought you were going to be at the very least the responsible boy around here. I guess I was wrong.”

Jeff marched him to his room and then made sure that under no circumstances was John allowed to see anyone till he was ready to apologize. Before John was shut in, he saw Gordon walk behind their father and stick his tongue out at him, smiling.

John didn’t know what to do. He had never been in trouble for anything before, especially for something he didn’t do. After a while Kyrano opened the door to collect John to help him clean the kitchen floor. There wasn’t any words between them as the both swept the mess, picking up every speck of broken glass, though Kyrano suspected something wasn’t quite right when Gordon came to sit in the kitchen and proceeded to point out everything on the floor John had missed. The boy was enjoying watching his brother suffer far too much for his own good.

“What happened?” Scott asked, walking into the kitchen only to be blocked by Kyrano’s broom as he was about to enter in bare feet.

“John made a pipe bomb and trashed the house.” Gordon grinned like an idiot. “He ruined Virgil’s sketchbook too. Poor Virge, he never even got the chance to use it!”

John stared at the floor and tried really hard to shut Gordon out.

“Pfft whatever. Are you sure it wasn’t you setting him up Gordon? John’s too stupid to do anything that awesome.”

Kyrano watched as John started sweeping under the kitchen bench on his hands and knees. The lack of response from the boy was ringing alarm bells at him. Shouldn’t he be defending himself, even if he did do the damage?

After another five minutes of Gordon gloating and Scott’s insults, Kyrano had decided John had gone through enough and had let him off with a half-hearted warning. Gordon and Scott, deprived of entertainment both left the kitchen to find something else constructive to do.

“Is there something you wish to tell me boy?” Kyrano asked John as he put his broom away to grab the dustpan and brush.

John paused for a moment and shook his head. “I’m sorry for the mess, Mr. Kyrano. It won’t happen again.”

Kyrano sighed. “Alright master John. You’re father still wants you to apologise. He’s in his study.”

“Yes Mr. Kyrano.”

Kyrano put his hand on the young man’s shoulder. “Don’t forget what you told me about your promise.”

This made John smile. “I won’t.”

John listened to his dad chew him out. Well he would have listened, he figured something about no pocket money for a month was mentioned in the speech somewhere. No he was thinking about what Mr. Kyrano said. Not a few minutes ago, but at the funeral… and the promise John had made with himself.

“You don’t seem to be upset, master John.” Kyrano said quietly looking out the window, looking rather calm and serene. He always did, the man was every essence of the word ‘graceful’ in everything he said or did.

“Because she’s not dead.”

“One can never truly be dead as long as they are in your heart.” Kyrano smiled. “Nor can they ever be when they have left a piece of themselves behind.” he stood there in silence for a while before continuing, “You boys have been lucky to have time with her. I know you did most of all. I wonder… little Allie, would he have wanted to spend time with her too?”

“Maybe. I don’t know… he’s a baby, he can’t talk.”

“Yes he can, just in ways we need to learn. Brave little John, do you think if she were to come back, how would Allie know who she is if he knows nothing about her?”

“Surly Alan would know wouldn’t he?” John looked up at his father’s friend and personal housekeeper.

“Not unless he has someone to teach him.”

“Then that’s what I’ll do! I’ll make sure Alan knows who she is, so if she comes back he can’t not know her!” John looked pretty determined. “That’s a promise!” his face changed slightly. “One problem though.”

“Oh? And what might that be?”

 “Dad is very protective of him, and won’t let any of us do anything with him.” John seemed to look sad. “Mum let me talk to him sometimes…. But not often. She and dad won’t let me talk to my other brothers much. I don’t understand why I can’t play with them.”

“Have you asked your Grandma?”

“You think she would?”

“You don’t know unless you ask.” Kyrano smiled. “And John?”

“Yes?”

“I think you not being able to play with your brothers won’t be a problem anymore.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

“John, are you listening to me?” Jeff sighed. That was his biggest problem with the boy. He never seemed to be all there, more or less off on his own little world. True, the next one in age was similar, but at least Virgil had the decency to wait till after Jeff had finished talking to him.

‘Huh? Uh sure dad. No pocket money for a month and no going on any trips off the island on the weekend with Kyrano and my brothers. I got it.”

“Right, now off you go.You need to get some sleep.”

John closed the office door behind him. Ok housebound for a month got it… it could have been worse and he was glad that it wasn’t.

He couldn’t sleep. It was already bad enough to be punished for something he didn’t do but to have Gordon think he got away scot-free? That was a kicker.

He could hear Alan starting to cry in the room next door, so he crawled out of his bed and into the baby's room, where once he entered he turned on the bedroom light, Alan stopped tearing over and started babbling and kicking his legs around excitedly. He was lonely. Little Alan wasn’t used to it, normally sleeping in the same room as mum and dad, but now put into his own room because he just wouldn’t sleep at all anymore. More than anything he wanted a cuddle and for someone to tell him that he was alright and give him lots of attention.

John was more than happy to.

He picked up his little brother, who smiled and started wiggling and squealed. For some reason, Alan had a liking for his older brother that to John didn’t make any sense. It was enough to cheer him up however, as the baby didn’t act this way around anyone else unless food was involved. John carried Alan back into his room and sat on the bed, giving his little brother a bit of a tickle, before bringing a book over to read to him. After a few tries at trying to get Alan to not eat the pages, John found himself laughing along with his little brother’s antics, trying to explore everything by sticking it in his mouth or shaking it around.

After a while Alan was trying to rub his eyes with the whole of his arms, John noticed he was starting to get pretty grumpy. He started to bundle him up to get ready to try and put him to bed when a shadow that had been hovering by the door stepped into his room. John relaxed.

It was Virgil. He looked very tired and unable to sleep. John patted the bed beside him and without words, Virgil clambered on and buried himself under the sheets. Lately, Virgil had not been speaking to anyone at all, including their grandma. He didn’t really talk much to John either as John was never around much, but the noise that he usually made in conjunction to Gordon had really been missing lately. Gordon was getting rather obnoxious and John wasn’t too surprised Virgil wasn’t going to sit around and pretend he liked it. There was also no way he would have spoken to Scott, insofar as he would have been picked on because he was an easy target and he couldn’t do loneliness for long as it just wasn’t his nature.

John ran his fingers through his brother’s hair with his free hand, hoping that it would make whatever nightmare that had woken Virgil up go away. Alan was starting to try and eat his blanket in his own refusal to go to sleep, so John hoped a lullaby might fix things.

“Starman, it time to go to bed, starman you need to rest your head. lay down on a bed of clouds, look into space and see universal galaxies. comets dancing across the sky, meteors showering from way up high, starman, you need to rest your head, little starman it's time to go to bed.”

He repeated his little invented song a few more times till Alan was snoring away and Virgil was also out like a light. John had never felt such a great deal of satisfaction with much before and as he put Alan back into his own crib and crawled into his own bed beside his other brother he felt a small sense of pride, that he could make them feel better.

***

The next morning, Grandma Tracy walked through the kitchen on her way upstairs to check to see if Alan was awake and got a rather big surprise that the baby was already up. It was more than that had gave her that smile as before her eyes the sweetest things she had ever seen was happening in front of her. She leaned on the doorway and watched, rather proud of her grandchildren.

Virgil was holding Alan on his lap at the table and John was trying to feed him something from a bowl. Kyrano’s own daughter Tanusha was also with them, watching Alan and laughing at him and his brothers trying to convince him that the food was yummy to eat. Grandma Tracy knew how hard it was to get Alan to eat anything, the boy refused solid foods and giving him a bottle was a huge struggle at the best of times. She was impressed that after watching his brothers both try a spoonful, Alan was getting excitable and was trying to grab the spoon to eat it himself, as if he thought he was going to miss out and that they were not going to share. There was food everywhere as Alan would then flick it around and fail at getting any of it into his mouth and at one attempt, into his right ear. Even three year old Tanusha tried to give him a spoonful only to get it thrown down her pajama top.

Jeff had to fly out earlier that morning to supervise a build of a hospital in France. She sighed, realising her son we missing out his own children who were trying so hard to be grown up.

“Good morning Grandma, have you seen where my daughter went?” Kyrano had walked up behind her, still dressed in his own night clothes and robe. Grandma Tracy never bothered to tell Kyrano that she had a name, she was aware that where he was from calling her by her title of ‘grandmother’ was a very special honor to be respected in the household.

“See for yourself Kyrano.” she said softly, indicating to him to look into the kitchen. She was also very satisfied to see a smile cross the man’s face. Kyrano rarely had much to smile about since his divorce that left him with nothing but his daughter and even then the courts where trying to take that last little part of his life away. She felt really sorry for him, Jeff’s oldest friend that had fallen on hard times. The only reason he worked as a house keeper on the island was because he felt that being allowed to live there he owed Jeff a debt, he didn’t of course but Kyrano was very set about it so Jeff just relented. He was also highly paid, Jeff putting money aside for him and his daughter all the time because Kyrano wouldn’t take it. This way it meant if anything did happen, there was money for them to fall back onto.

Jeff would never leave a friend in need and some of that was reflected in his sons. If anything the boys regardless of privilege that their parents had earned to look after them never took it for granted. Sure being isolated from the rest of the world made them a little naive about things, but it also meant they were never influenced by the material world outside… even media like the tv or the internet was minimal in impact around them as there was so many more interesting things for them to do around the house.

“I think she would have loved to have real brothers.” Kyrano sighed heavily. “She doesn’t even have any cousins so when she goes to see her mother in Beijing, she is all alone. It’s no life for a little one.”

“Kyrano, you know we both think of you as part of the family. And after watching this, I think the boys do too. They like having a little sister, though I can’t guarantee she isn’t going to be a little bit of a tomboy.”

“I don’t mind.” Kyrano chuckled. “Her mother can worry about it being an issue when she visits. No matter how you train a bonsai, you can never control how it matures. I think my little ‘Cherry blossom’ should be allowed to flower however she wants. Thank you Grandma for your kindness.” he gave a little bit of a bow.

Grandma Tracy just patted his shoulder. Bowing was another custom of his she was never going to get used to. It was done out of respect, but she couldn’t help feeling a little awkward about it. Growing up on a farm way out in Kansas and then owning one while raising her two sons -one of which still was into farming but had little to do with her and the rest of the family which sometimes did make her feel sad - made her see everyone on the same level, that no one, no matter their circumstances was better than anyone else. This sense of class that Kyrano seemed to has picked up from somewhere completely confused her and no matter what she said it never seemed to get him to understand.

They both watched as John started fussing around trying to clean up the mess, clean Tanusha’s Pajamas, clean Alan’s face, fingers and his little all in one suit, both little children wriggling and fighting it, though in Tanusha’s case she was trying to avoid being tickled at the same time. He took Alan off Virgil’s lap to let his other little brother eat, picking up the dirty dishes with Tanusha’s help and putting them in the dishwasher.

“I still cannot see that boy smashing a window.” Kyrano said finally.

“I’m still shocked that he’s just taken over responsibilities.” Grandma Tracy snorted with amusement. “I would have thought he would have struggled to fit in. I was sure Scott would have been more involved with them..”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Oh and why not?”

“Because, he isn’t Lucille. Brave little John is like her in every way, even though he has never had the chance to spend time with any of them. All that time he spent with her going to and from hospitals on the mainland has rubbed off and blossomed into something wonderful. If you notice, Creative little Virgil is watching him with great interest. That says to me he’s learning too. I’ve never seen him watch Master Scott or little whirlwind of energy Gordon in the same way.”

“I think you're right there Kyrano.” Grandma Tracy had seemed to think it over. “You know that I don’t ever think ill of my son or my deceased daughter-in-law, but a part of me does think that there absence needed to happen in order for a few of the boys to come into their own… however there’s a few more that say to me that we need them here too.”

Kyrano nodded. “Yes, Scott and Gordon both need their father. They will not listen to me.”

“Nor me.” Grandma Tracy found herself frowning. “Those two are up to mischief. I can feel it in my old bones.”

“We better keep a better watch on them you think?”

“I’d like to say yes to that, but I think in doing so they could behave far worse. I know my Grandsons.”

“Think we should help?” Kyrano asked, noticing that Virgil had now finished and helped clean up his own dishes and John was leading all the little kids back upstairs.

“I think we might. There’s no way he can help those three get dressed. Even I can’t do that Kyrano.”

***

Virgil was minding his own business later that day sitting down on the beach playing in the sand. It was a nice day, the sun was out and he was getting to do something else other than draw inside. Occasionally he’d look up to check where his older brother was before going back to investing his time in his sand sculpture. Virgil was never interested in the water so he was fine to leave on his own for short periods when they were down by the ocean because they knew exactly where he would be. Tanusha, on the other hand loved running in and out of the waves and in the absence of their Grandmother and Tanusha’s father -who was gardening - were usually never far away when they were near the water, John was with her holding her hand, making sure she didn’t try to walk into the water any higher than her knees. Alan had been laid down for his afternoon siesta that to Virgil all babies seemed to have leaving them sometime to do something outside.

“I got some shells for you.”

Virgil looked up and smiled, holding out his hands. “Thank you Kayo.” He said, making Tanusha squeal happily. Virgil had problems pronouncing her name so he gave her a nickname instead. Even though she was only half his age, she could punch, kick and bite like a wild animal when she was in a bad mood so he called her ‘Kayo, his own made up version of KO because she was a real fighter.”

“That’s a pretty awesome sea monster Virgil.”

“Thank you Johnny.” Virgil pointed to an area he had just finished.”It’s still a castle but in the shape of a monster so to scare the attacking armies away.” he grinned as he held up the shells. “These will make it’s scales so that weapons and things just bounce right off!”

“You’re going to be famous one day.” John ruffled his little brother’s dark brown hair. He seemed to have spotted something along the beach and stood up, not taking his eyes off it. “Do you mind watching Tanushi for a minute?” Tanushi was the pet name John used for Tanusha when the adults were not around. She loved it when she was called that for some reason, getting all excitable over it.

“Ok sure, she can help me add the scales.”

“YAY! SCALES!” Kayo shouted excitedly, getting onto her hands and knees to grab shells from the pile she had brought over for Virgil earlier on and picking out the prettiest ones she could find. “See Virgie! Soooo pretty!”

John left Virgil in charge and walked down along the beach until he was standing near the rocks where Scott was standing on top of, looking into rock pools for fish and other critters.

“You're not supposed to be up there without dad!” He called, shouting up at his older brother. “You could really hurt yourself!”

“Since when do you care what I do, Johnny? Go back and hide under mum’s dress… oh wait she’s DEAD so you can’t anymore.”

“It’s not my fault you found her stuff boring. She was good at drawing sea creatures and star systems and everything, you just didn’t like anything she did!”

“You know what, I’m glad she’s DEAD. means no more annoying little stinky brothers. Pitty I’m still stuck with you. You know why you’re not dad’s favorite? It’s because you look like mum and that makes him sad. He can’t stand looking at you.”

“You take that back Scotty.”

“Why should I? You’re not going to do anything about it. You’re as boring as a tree stump and as emotionally engaging as one. I bet a rock could fight back better than you.” Scott smirked. “You're just a big boring nothing!”

“Oh yeah? Well you're just a… as stupid fat bully!”

Scott lept off the rock, pinning John backwards in the sand and hit him across the face hard. He grabbed his brother by the shirt and shook him. “Say that again you little weasel! I dare you!”

“You’re such a jerk! You used to be nice!”

“Yeah well, things change. You know that no one really like you? The only reason Allie and Virgil act how they do is because you look like her. THAT’S ALL. They don’t like you for anything else. The only reason Grandma and Kyrano are nice to you is because you remind them of her! You are nothing but a copy and I HATE YOU!”

“You’re a liar, none of that’s true!”

Scott grabbed the nearest rock and hit John with hit a few times. “You can’t even cry, because you're nothing but a stupid clone! You’re stupid, stupid, stupid!”

After a couple of good whacks, he stopped when John no longer held his arms up to defend himself. There was blood bleeding into the wet sand all around them and washing away in the incoming tide.

Virgil looked up from his place on the beach with Kayo patting away at the sand making it as smooth as she could and scanned the beach for his older brother like he had earlier. It wasn’t like John to wander off for a long time and he had been gone for a while. He spotted Scott walking away from the rocks and back up towards the trees away from the house, probably to go exploring or something of the kind. As long as he wasn’t coming over to knock over the sea monster castle, Virgil didn’t care what his eldest sibling was doing. Scott had given him the biggest fright the night before Virgil ended up sleeping in John’s room, pinning his little brother to the wall of the hallway and having a good go at him for wasting time in the toilet. Scott never used to be scary. Virgil liked following him a round on his adventures but now it wasn’t safe to be anywhere near him. Looking back at the rocks he could see something in the sand.

Not something but someone. And they were not moving.

Virgil grabbed Kayo’s arm gently to get her attention. “Kayo do you know where your dad was in the garden?”

“Yes, he was by the pink flowers, Why?”

“Go get him.”

“Why Virgie?”

“Just… please, ok Kayo? Tell him to come towards the rocks.”

“But we are not allowed down there, you’re not going to be naughty are you?”

“No. Someone is hurt Kayo. Please? You’d do it for Johnny, you can do it for me.”

“Okay.” Kayo stood up, brushed sand off her pants and ran off towards the house. Virgil got up and started running down towards the rocks at the other end of the beach.

***

Jeff had only just managed to fly back in after the longest board meeting of his life. There was so many things he needed to do back at the house he was grateful to be finally back at home. He found his mother sitting at the kitchen table and sat down with her.

“How’s everything? Under control?”

“More or less. Alan’s asleep, John is with Tanusha and Virgil down the beach, Gordon’s in his room playing with lego and Scott…” she let out a sigh. “Is goodness knows where. Even Kyrano hasn’t seen that boy all day. I tell you Jeff, I’m a little bit worried about -”

She didn’t get to finish as Jeff stood up knocking his chair over when he spotted Kyrano and two of the younger children making a quick dash for the house. Something was bundled up in Kyrano’s gardening overalls in his arms. “What happened?” he almost demanded, trying hard to keep cool. The flight home had done nothing for his temper after the ridiculous board meeting in France.

“Not sure, but John is really hurt.” Kyrano showed Jeff the state of the boy he held in his arms.

“Bloody kid, told him not to play on the rocks!” Jeff took his son off his friend and carried him upstairs.

“But I don’t think-” Kyrano started to say and then sighed.

“What is it Kyrano?” Grandma Tracy asked as she stood up, picking up Jeff’s fallen chair.

“I don’t think he fell. If he did the blood would have been all over the rocks and not the sand. Somehow I don’t think Jeff will listen to me unless I have some proof.”

Jeff was furious but also he was worried. Annoyed that John had been doing things he shouldn’t have been again but concerned that his son had almost killed himself. If he wasn’t so worked up about it, he would have noticed the injuries didn’t make sense for someone who had fallen. Even falling off the rocks into the water didn’t do this level of injury. Eventually he sat on the end of his son’s bed when he was done patching him up and gently rubbed his hand through John’s reddish hair.

He took a deep breath and sighed. “What am I going to do with you kiddo? Maybe I will have to consider boarding school if you keep this up or send you to live with your uncle… I can’t seem to trust you at home anymore.” he patted his son’s bed sheets and tidied them up and pulled them over the boy. “I don’t know what to believe, what I see or what your Grandmother says about you just doesn’t add up.” Jeff stood up and left his son’s room.

***

Gordon tossed and turned and rolled himself out of his bed. All he could hear was that horrid crying and screaming coming for the room at the end of the hall. That ‘THING’ Gordon believed was why they didn’t have a mother anymore. If Alan had not have been born, their mother wouldn’t have left on that undersea thingy and would still be there.

Gordon hated Alan more than he hated brussel sprouts.

He got up angry and stormed out of his bedroom, determined to go into the littlest Tracy’s room and really give him something to cry about. So what if he was a baby? He needs to be made to shut up.

Gordon saw a light coming from the room at the end of the hall, could see a shadow and assuming it was Jeff, slid into the bathroom that was in the middle of the hallway, hoping that he wasn’t seen out of bed in fear of being in trouble. He may have spent most of his day in his room, but he wasn’t oblivious to the foul mood their father was in about his older brother John.

Gordon couldn’t understand why he disliked his older sibling. It was if that all of a sudden shouting and getting his brother into trouble was the most fun and entertaining thing to do. Maybe it was because he never had much to do with John in the first place. It was like their mother tried to keep him and the rest of them apart when he was home, never really there.

Well pox to that. If he wanted to spend time with him he’d make him work for it.

Dad must have worked out how to stop Alan crying, he thought, as now he could no longer hear any screaming. That didn’t make sense to Gordon, babies don’t stop crying that’s what they do isn’t it?

So then why had he?

Gordon poked his head around the bathroom door, enough to see into the hall without himself being spotted. There was giggling and it was something he had never heard before.

“Ah deah!”

“Same to you too Alan. You need to sleep.” the voice was soft and sounded like they were struggling to talk. “I don’t think I can pick you up this time.”

“Dabaaadeeah deah!”

“Alright Alan, just one story ok?”

There was a few other noises before Gordon could see who it was leaving the bedroom with Alan in tow. They seemed to stumble into the wall, right themselves and get a better hold of the baby before trying to carry the extra weight towards John’s room.

What was his brother doing? Gordon wondered. Why was he unable to walk properly?

Gordon left his little hiding place and made his way to John’s bedroom door where he peeked inside. Alan was on his tummy on the bed and John was sitting on the floor in a heap, Alan tugging at his hair and patting him playfully on the head as he was still within reach.

John looked sick. Gordon had only ever seen his brother look like that before when he was about three, and Gordon knew he would be spending another month in hospital. Instead of giving up, his brother pulled himself up onto the bed and picked Alan up to gave him a hug as best as he could.

“I know you're standing there Gordon. Either come in or go to bed. I’m not going to listen to you yell at me if that’s your plan.” There was the sound of sniffing, as if his brother had been crying.

Gordon walked in slowly, not taking his eyes off his older sibling. Alan was pulling John’s hair and looking at it as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world. He didn’t even look in Gordon’s direction, it was if Alan only cared about one thing in the whole world.

“How come Alan goes quiet when you hold him?” Gordon asked. “He’s never been quiet before.”

“I’m not sure Gordon. Maybe it’s because I don’t look or smell wrong… something like that.”

“You used to always smelled funny Johnny. Like Kyrano’s cleaning closet.” he sniffed. “Sometimes you still do.”

“Thanks alot Gordon.”

“You smelled like hospitals. I don’t like hospitals.”

“I don’t either Gordon. But they make sick people better.”

“Why did you keep going away? Mum never really let us play with you much.”

John adjusted Alan on his knee and leaned over to open a draw at his bedside table. He grabbed a little device of some sort and held it out to show the five year old.

“You know how on tv shows they talk about things like blood sugars and diabetes?”

Gordon nodded. He liked watching all those medical shows when he could, the grosser the better.

“Well this little thing takes a sample of your blood and tells you if you're healthy or not.” John thought better of it telling his little brother what it really took your bloods for, besides…. John couldn’t even pronounce what it was called. He just knew it was what made him sick all the time. Even now when he had been ok for months he still panicked and checked every night before bed, even if he didn’t have to. One day he’ll forget to and keep on forgetting, hopefully because it will never ever come back.

“Want me to show you?”

“Yeah that’d be awesome!”

“Ok, hold out your hand.” he held it up out of Alan’s reach so he didn’t prick the baby by accident. He wasn’t sure Alan was old enough to hold a grudge, but babies do remember when someone or something hurts them.

He picked Gordon’s finger and his little brother winced as he felt the slight sting of pain.

“What’s it say?” he asked as John looked at the little LCD read out.

“That you're a lizard man from the planet mars.”

“Johnny that’s not funny!”

Alan found Gordon’s whining amusing and started laughing.

“It is.” John chuckled. Gordon let it slide, he didn’t think his brother had a sense of humor. “It’s says your fine and that everything’s ok. It reads things like iron and calcium and yes, sugars. Your a normal kid Gordo, don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.”

“Why do you need it then? Your normal too right?”

“No Gordon, I’m actually an alien that dad brought back from space. They take me away all the time to perform experiments on me but have yet to find out all my secrets.”

“Really? That is sooo cool!” Gordon’s eyes lit up as he raised his voice. “Wait, can you prove you're an alien?”

John handed Alan over to his brother who tried to hold him the same way he had, although John had to correct where Gordon put his hands so he didn’t squish his own fingers. Then with both his brothers watching - though in Alan’s case he was staring at John because he was now confused as to why he was no longer being held by him - he cleaned the needle point with a sterile cloth that was in a special little pocket and then pricked his own finger. Gordon was impressed that John didn’t show a single sign that there was any pain involved.

John showed Gordon the results and pointed to a long word that didn’t come up in his own turn.

“See that? That’s not supposed to be there. I don’t really know what it is, but I know if it’s high it makes me really really sick. It’s been going down everyday, and one day hopefully it will be gone. Since mum’s gone away, it’s gotten lower really fast so maybe I finally get to be normal and not ever have to go back to hospital.”

Gordon watched his older brother carefully as he sighed. The gentle smile was still there, but the sparkle was gone.

“I like it at home, I love it now I’m allowed to spend time with you guys. I… I don’t want to have to go back….its lonely and no one smiles or laughs. No one plays, sings or dances. It’s horrible. I don’t ever want to go back.” John wiped a tear away. “That’s why when you yell at me and be mean… it hurts. If you guys don’t want me around there where do I go?”

Gordon looked at Alan who was trying to wriggle out of his arms. The baby was leaning forward, trying to touch his hands on Jon’s leg. “Jah ba daaaddda jahhhh baba da!” Alan babbled as he stretched as far as his tiny little body would allow. “Jaabbdeny!”

“I think Alan doesn’t want you to go back either.” Gordon held his baby brother up for John to take him. “I’ve never heard him make any other noise like this ever.”

“That’s because you’ve never spent time with him.” John’s smile came back with a sharp glint to it. “I’m not the only one he doesn’t cry around either.”

“What do you mean?” Gordon looked confused.

“You had been holding onto him for at least five minutes.” John sniggered. “He hasn’t sooked till just now.”

It took a few seconds for it to sink in Gordon’s blonde little head that his littlest brother, who he hated more than brussel sprouts didn’t mind him at all. Infact now Alan was in John’s arms, he was squirming around to try and make sure he could see both John and Gordon at the same time. When he finally got comfortable he looked up and had the biggest gummy smile crossed his face and his whole body bounced up and down excitedly.

“He likes you alot too Gordon.”

“Babies like everyone, that doesn’t mean anything… all those documentaries I watched said so.”

“Actually that’s a lie. Babies are selective with who they feel safe with. If Alan was just smiling at every single person he saw then there would be a problem… it would mean he doesn’t see anyone as a potential danger, but also doesn’t have anyone to feel safe around.”

As if to imply his point, Alan stopped smiling and trying to get Gordon’s attention, checked to make sure John was still there holding him and watching out for him before he started being silly at Gordon again. As Gordon watched, Alan kept on doing this funny little look for approval from John as if to make sure that Gordon was ok to try and play with.

“The truth is they get clingy to only a select few people until they are at least a year old. After that that assuring bond gives them that stable fixed point to always run too if they wander too far. It’s amazing the stuff you learn when you're stuck in a hospital bed.”

“Even if you’re an alien… I don’t want you to go back either.” Gordon said quietly.

“Can you promise me something Gordon? Alan isn’t going to remember any of this so he doesn’t count.”

“Like… Like what?”

“That you don’t tell anyone about me being an alien. That’s between us… and the fact that one day this thing might be completely gone...or…”

“It’d come back?” Gordon didn’t look too happy to hear that. “But that won’t happen though! I’ll make sure it doesn’t! Alan will help me, he will ok?”

“But that’s it.. I don’t really know. That’s why you're not allowed to tell anyone about it. Do you promise me that Gordon?”

Gordon’s warm brown eyes held John’s pale greens for a fraction of a second before he smiled. “Deal. Though I forget stuff so you might need to remind me.”

“I’m pretty sure I won’t have to Gordon. If it comes back you’ll know.”

Gordon smiled and started laughing when he saw Alan start trying to rub his tired little eyes with his whole arm. His hands wouldn’t do as far as the littlest Tracy was concerned, it was the whole arm slapped and rubbed against the face that was the signal that he was going to start getting grumpy because he didn’t want to go to bed.

John couldn’t hide his smile. His brother had the attention span shorter than a goldfish at the best of times but he felt like he knew that Gordon would keep his promise.

“See Virgie, I told you he’d be awake!”

“But he needs to rest, Dad said…”

“PFTTT! Your daddy says a lot of things, if he told you Johnny was a monster you’d believe him! Silly Virgie.”

Alan let out a whine and snorted, as both his brothers looked back towards the door of the room to see Tanusha dragging Virgil along by the sleeve of his pajamas.

“Can you sing us a song before bed Johnny?” Tanusha asked, ignoring Virgil’s complaints from being awoken and Gordon’s amused stares. “Virgie says you sound really good!”

Virgil blushed. He did not want his brother to know he thought that. “Kayo you’re embarrassing me!” he retorted as he squirmed, falling backwards as Tanusha let him go. She tried to climb up onto the bed but her legs were just too short.

“Gordie, helpies please!” she stretched her arms up and wiggled her fingers. She could see that Alan was getting squirmy in John’s arms and trying to bury his little head into John’s t-shirt. It wasn’t the most well thought out cuddle but Alan had never really tried to give them to anyone before.

Gordon half lifted, half pulled Tanusha up onto the bed, her little legs kicking as she tried to get a purchase on the mattress. She then crawled around till she sat right next to John and poked her tongue out at Gordon who folded his arms in a huff.

“Aren't you coming up too Virgie?” she called.

“Come on Virgil, there’s plenty of room.” John reassured him. “I won’t tell anyone else that you like me singing ok? I’m pretty sure Scott couldn’t care less and dad wouldn’t believe you anyway.”

Virgil nodded and crawled onto the bed and sat behind Gordon, tugging the blanket up over around his and Gordon’s shoulders, while Tanusha did the same around John’s but with far less co-ordination, so the corner of the blanket John had got wrapped around Alan, who was drifting off to sleep in the warmth against his brother’s body.

“Ok so what do you want Tanushi? Something made up, a lullaby or a real song?”

Tanusha didn’t even stop to think about her choice, she already knew what she wanted to hear.

“Real song Johnny! Lullabies are boring and for babies, and we’re not babies!”

“But Alan’s a baby Kayo.” Gordon pointed out.

“He’s not, he’s a big boy like the rest of us!” she stuck her chin out to try and look bigger than what she was. John couldn’t contain his slight laughter as it was amusing that Tanusha didn’t think she was a girl when she was around them. She was one of the boys and probably always will be.

“Ok… let me think… are you all rather tired or wide awake?”

“Tired” Virgil yawned.

“A little bit.” Gordon agreed.

“NEVER!” Tanusha squealed and startled Alan who let out a adorable groan and pulled harder on the blanket to try and hide under it.

“Alan sure is.” Gordon grinned.

“I think I have one.”

There was a pause before John started singing ‘The Ballad of Whitby Farm’. By the end of it there was four sleeping children on his bed and there was no way he had the strength or the energy to move them. He yawned and carefully lay Alan down before gently cuddling his little brother into his arms as he rested his on head down on the mattress, making sure Alan was not going to be squashed by anyone. He knew Virgil didn’t move around in his sleep but there was no guarantees that Gordon and Tanusha did.

 ***

Jeff sat heavily down on the living room sofa and gratefully took the mug of strong coffee that was offered to him by Kyrano.

“What went wrong Kyrano? Did Lucille hide him away too much and now he’s uncontrollable to anyone?”

“She didn’t hide him, nor did you Jeff.” Kyrano answered calmly. “He had been a very sick little boy for many years and has to get used to being at home without his mother. It’s a lot to take for one so small.”

“So everyone keeps telling me.’

“He wants to be like you, you do know that?”

“Everyone tells me that too. I was never that much trouble as a kid.”

“Oh… I remember when I first met you at University.” Kyrano smiled shaking a finger at Jeff. “You were not an angel either.”

“That was different, I was a lot older than my son is now.”

“That is true but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, for him and all your other boys.”

“Carrying him upstairs hours ago… made me remember when he was tiny Kyrano. I didn’t know what to do then either. Even now as I think about his future I can’t imagine him being a huge part of this family, rather than some sibling his brothers will just accept is related to them but never have much interaction with.”

“He’s not a sick little baby anymore that needs constant care Jeff. he can fight his own battles.”

“And destroy the house.”

Kyrano sighed and ignored that last comment. “I remember when you had that accident in the international space station and spent months in and out of hospital. Lucille was so worried about you and stressed out that she had little John five weeks early. The two of you where in a real state, both you and a tiny little one. Everyone was afraid you wouldn’t make it.” Kyrano sat down beside his friend, his employer and confidant.

“The only reason you pulled through was because of that boy. You held him tight in your arms on that hospital bed because you were afraid you might never get to again after you put him back down.”

“I still feel that way Kyrano. Only in the last year or so have I thought any different, though I must admit when they finally gave him the all clear to come home for good at the start of this year I guess I got a little over protective. They still said it could come back at any time, I just don’t want the others to get too close in case I loose him.”

“It may also never come back and he could be fine. Do you think keeping him away from the rest of them will be any good for any of them? I have been telling you, he has really done well this past year despite you losing Lucille. Shouldn’t that be enough?”

“It doesn’t feel like it Kyrano.”

 Kyrano shook his head. He was having a tough time getting Jeff to see his son for what he really was. Lucille knew. She always knew. He wished she was here right now to make him understand it.

“There you are Jeff.” Grandma Tracy said happily as she walked down the stairs from the hallway that led to the boys rooms. “I want to show you something, as you will not believe me if I told you.” she waved them over, indicating for them to follow her back up the stairs.

Reluctantly, Jeff followed with Kyrano bringing up the rear, just as curious as to what Grandma Tracy had in mind.

They followed her to the second last room in the hall, John’s bedroom and she indicated for them to look inside, holding a finger to her pursed lips.

Jeff’s shoulder slumped and he let out a deep breath as a smile slowly blossomed onto his tired features.

Lying on the bed, cuddled all together was Gordon, Virgil and Tanusha all hugging onto John very tight while he had little Alan asleep carefully cuddled into him, John having made sure that Alan could roll around and not be squished by anyone else on the bed.

“I think they know he’s part of the family, Jeff, and they worry about him as much as he worries about them back. If anything you only need to worry about him being suddenly overprotective, just like yourself.” Grandma Tracy said softly. “We thought keeping him away around Lucille was best for him while he was ill all the time and we were wrong. He needs his family, just like the rest of us. We might have to learn to accept that.”

“I told you he is a good kid. He just needs us to listen.” Kyrano nodded. “Even my little 'cherry blossom’ thinks so. Children have so much wisdom that we as adults loose as we get older. The world for them still so huge and there is room for everyone inside of it.” Kyrano patted Jeff on the shoulder.

Jeff found himself agreeing with his old friend. “Your right as always Kyrano.”

***

Scott had gotten sick of wandering around the island, without Gordon or Virgil around there was very little for him to do. Sure he would have only just told them to go away but that was still doing something as far as he was concerned. Eventually he found himself in the living room heading out towards the balcony where his brother John was lying on the wooden floorboards with a book over his face, enjoying the sun.

Scott kicked his brother’s foot. “Wake up stupid, you’ll burn to a crisp.”

“That’s why they invented sunscreen.” John glared out from under the book. Kyrano and their father had gone and taken Virgil and Gordon with them to Beijing for the weekend as it was Kyrano’s ex-wife’s turn to look after Tanusha, who didn’t want to go. With only Alan and the older boys to look after, Grandma Tracy took the time to put her feet up wherever she could and had decided to take Alan down to the beach while he was still in a good mood after cuddling John and his other siblings most of the night.

“Sunscreen gives you cancer.”

“Everything gives you cancer. Why waste time thinking about it?”

Scott kicked him again.

“Hey what’s your problem?” John sat up, irritated. “You know if you hate me that much just leave me alone and stop kicking me.”

“I’m bored.”

“So? What’s that got to do with me?”

“I’m entertaining myself.”

“By kicking me?”

“Yes. it’s fun.”

John got up and while shorter than his older brother, still managed to grab him by the shirt and pull his face to meet his. “Stop it.”

“Look who grew a spine after yesterday.” Scott grinned like a shark. John let him go.

“I don’t want to fight you. Waste of time.”

“No, you’re the waste of time. You were always a waste of time and space come to that.”

“If you think so.” John sighed but then he was back in his older brother’s face, grabbing him by his short dark brown hair and pulling it as hard as he could while fending off his older brother’s violent swinging arms. “I got told every day ‘Why couldn’t you be like Scott?’ or ‘why can’t you be fit, big and strong like your brother Scott?’ And you know what? I started to think you were the greatest thing ever according to mum and dad, because all they ever talked about was Scott Scott SCOTT!” he slammed a foot heavily on his brother’s toes and got a yelp from his older sibling.

“If anyone should be hated, it’s YOU.” John’s voice was low as he growled. He didn’t shout or yell, because that wouldn’t have been effective in dealing with his older brother. “You get EVERYTHING. You got to play with our brothers because you are the one that everyone thinks they should be like. You are the damn role model that everyone thinks is the best in the whole world… and I HATE YOU.” the last words were spat into his brother’s face. “You’re mean, horrible and nasty and I’m so glad that Gordon and Virgil are nothing like you… and I hope Alan isn’t either!”

John then let go. He wrapped his arms around himself. He didn’t like how he sounded. It was scary, it was not him. He fell to his knees and started to cry.

“I hate always been treated like the monster, the freak of nature that no one is allowed to talk to. I guess I just proved that I don’t deserve to be anything else.” he sniffed. “Maybe mum and dad were right not letting me play with any of you. I don’t deserve to be like you, or have them be like me.”

Scott froze. He didn’t know what to do. He had not expected his little brother to have feelings, as he had always thought his brother John was a emotionless robot. And yet there he was, balling his eyes out on the veranda in front of him.

Scott crouched down and tried to get a look at his little brother’s face. There was one thing that made John look nothing like their mother and that was him crying. Their mother never cried. For the first time Scott realised that his little brother was not like their mother at all and he was another person, completely different altogether.

“I’m sorry John. I didn’t know. Mum and dad always seemed to keep you away, so I thought they liked you far more than me. Like they never wanted to spend time with anyone else.”

“They didn’t spend time with me much at all unless I was home Scott.”

“Where did you go all the time anyway?”

“Just a hospital. Got left on my own alot. I always wanted a friend to play with but wasn’t allowed any. I finally get to and had no idea how hard it would be to get people to like me. Guess they were right not to let me have any friends afterall.”

“You’re really lucky Scotty. You don’t ever have to worry about being sick or being taken away from anyone all the time. I wish I could be as lucky as you.”

Scott held out a hand. “Want to play a game with me?”

“Not going to beat me up are you for fun?”

“No. I want a friend to play with too. For once, someone who isn’t afraid to tell me I’m being an idiot.”

“I can tell you all the time if you want.”

“Don’t push it.”

***

A few nights later Grandma Tracy called to Jeff to come and see what she had found. She even took a photograph for her phone.

“These boys are really something special Jeff. I hope you can see that now.”

“I’ve always know they where… just maybe not as much as they did.”

“You’re terrible at being humble Jeff. Maybe that’s something they need to teach you.”

“Then I’m ready to learn.”

“I can still see it in your eyes, Jeff.” his mother sighed.

“I’m sorry mother. It’s just… if anything does happen to him now it’s going to make it so much harder to get them to accept it.”

“Maybe they won’t need to. You can’t predict the future.”

“I guess you're right.”

“Son, you know I’m always right and it’s about time you stopped hiding him and them from each other in the shadows.”

***

(link to next bit's location)

 John sat in the kitchen trying to feed his littlest brother Alan who was propped up in a high chair. Alan had just discovered he had teeth in his mouth now and was biting down hard every spoonful. Sure Alan was now capable of feeding himself, however it was a case of whether or not you wanted it in his tummy or all over the kitchen floor. John wouldn’t let anyone else do this with Alan, this was just his and his little brother’s quality time, even if it was really rather messy and mostly one sided in conversation.

Alan thumped the table every time he had the spoon taken from him and pulled faces every time he grabbed it and shoved a load of food into his mouth. Alan loved tuna bake but not today. Today, it was a funny tasting meal that he would rather throw down his brother’s t-shirt and laugh about it.

This time was special. Very little could ruin it… except for their father.

Jeff had walked into the kitchen at the other end away from the table and was talking to Kyrano as he proceeded to pour them both a drink from his brandy cabinet which was up high and out of the reach of little grabbing fingers. He was tired after a long day flying in and out and endless board meetings were weighing him down, which might have been why he failed to register his son’s presence in the same room. There were a lot of things he had to talk about with his old friend, some of which were immediately important, and some, while still fairly important, were stuff he really didn't want to discuss… but needed to because the problem just simply wouldn’t go away. Usually, it was about one of his sons.

Sure it was pretty hard to ignore a baby in the room -Alan had a tendency to be quite vocal in the presence of everyone he saw now just for attention - however Alan had gone really quiet, curiously watching his older sibling who had gone from playful with him to very restrained in one quick behavioral change.

“- I tell you Kyrano it doesn’t matter how smart the boy is, his grades are so far behind the rest of the others it’s appalling. Sure he has a lot of catch up to do, but when his grades are worse than six year old Gordon’s there needed to be something done. I had been thinking about a boarding school again, however he would be in need of serious tutoring if he was to be sent to on in the first place just to get up to speed.”

“You need to have a little faith Mr. Tracy.” Kyrano gratefully took a drink off his friend and employer. “Four years of education is a lot for a little boy who only knows how to read… which you should be proud of by the way, seeing as it was all self taught.”

“He’s left handed too. That’s going to be impossible to get him to change now.” Jeff continued, oblivious to Kyrano trying to subtly indicate said son was in the same room.

John looked at his hands and attempted to give Alan the next spoonful with his right hand. It felt wrong, but he didn’t want to have his father disappointed in him. He had been well enough the past year to spend time with his brothers and just like them, he wanted to show that he was something to be proud of to a father who he didn’t really know at all.

The school part had been hard. All of them were learning via correspondence and John had alot he needed to learn just to be able to do the work aimed at his year level. It meant twice, maybe three times the amount of homework the others had to do and it didn’t help his confidence to know that he was still learning to write with a pencil in his hand and had handwriting worse than his seven year old sibling. Yet the only reason Scott was doing well in maths was because John would help him with his homework. John understood numbers better than he understood words, but that never stopped him try to learn everything he could as fast as he possibly can.

Alan, who was used to being feed from John’s left hand had grabbed the spoon far too easily from the right and flicked food in his older brother’s face. He wasn’t stupid, he knew when he had an advantage and would take it the second he saw it. Alan watched as his brother’s face remained impassive, then proceeded to poke his tongue out playfully the try and get his brother to laugh at him.

“You know that they say, those who are left handed are far more creative and very intelligent.” Kyrano promoted, trying to get Jeff to see the upside of having a son who was a little different to the rest.

“So far I am beginning to doubt that. I have yet to see anything that makes that theory true. The kid doesn’t even have any hobbies… or at least any that I’ve seen. No Kyrano… I think.. I think there is something wrong with that boy and he’s going to be left behind no matter what I do.”

That was when both of them heard the clatter of a dish smashing to the floor. Jeff was fast from around the bench to to pick the bowl up off the floor and give John a disapproving look. His son was on his hands and knees on the floor trying to pick the chunks of tuna bake off the tiles. When John noticed his father paying attention he tried doing it with his right hand, only to just spread the mess around. It was frustrating, but he wanted to try as hard as he could just so his father would say something nice about him at least once today.

All he got was Jeff reaching out to stop him and shoo him away. John stood up and threw what he had picked up away, washed his hands and paused as he heard his father grumble, “Honestly boy won't you do anything without making a complete hash of it? Kyrano can I please have something to clean the floor with?”

Kyrano gave John a sympathetic look before answering. “I’ll go get the mop Mr. Tracy.” And with that he left the kitchen. Before he did, he patted little John on the shoulder. “Help your father with your little brother.”

“No, I can do that myself thank you. You’ve done enough for one day. Go… go do whatever it is you have to do Jonathan. Maybe do some writing practice if you haven't got anything constructive to do.”

Jeff looked up at Alan in his high chair who had just dropped the spoon on the floor, gave his father one lone look and after deciding that Jeff wasn’t the person he wanted to be left alone in the room with, started to wail.

“John wait!” Jeff called out. His second eldest son stood in the doorway with his back towards him as he was about to head back upstairs. If he was more observant he would have noticed his son’s shoulders slumped in dejection, waiting for the next round of being told he was a worthless addition to the family.

“Come clean up your little brother please. Then go and … do whatever you want.”

John turned back around and grabbed a cloth off the bench to wipe Alan’s face. The little kid fussed, snorted and puffed out his cheeks as his brother tried to clean him up but once done Alan was all smiles, laughing and babbling at his older brother who used the same cloth to clean his own t-shirt and the bits out of his hair. Then John unstrapped his brother and started to leave the kitchen, Alan in tow.

“Where are you off to?” Jeff asked.

“To clean Alan like you asked. He’s stinky father.”

Father. John was the only one who never called him ‘dad'. Jeff couldn’t see the reason why his son had to be so weird but then it was partly his own fault. With his son always sick he never really had much to do with him and now with Lucille gone he had to learn how to look after not just a baby, but a son he never truly felt was really his. Sure John was definitely his son there was no question about that, he recalled holding him as a premature baby in the hospital when he had his accident at NASA.

Who’d have thought the little baby that helped him through the toughest time in his life at that point would be such a distant stranger? The fact it looked like it was going to be repeated all over again with the youngest son was something Jeff was torn in two about. In one way he needed to work and keep his family safe from the outside world that wanted to harm them but he also needed to be there to look after his sons and watch them grow up into what he hoped was respectable gentlemen. The other little part that made it a hard call was that his son that he was distant with had flourished now that his mother was gone and that Jeff was barely ever around. He could say all the negative things he liked about John’s school grades and how much slower he was to bring up to the educational speed of his older sibling Scott, the truth was without his assistance with Alan and his other brothers the past year the world he was left with would have been a more difficult thing to deal with.

Five years of being sick, not spending time with any family and isolated from them when he was able to be around the house had in a way robbed his son of half his childhood. He was far more mature than his older brother who was about to turn eight in a few months time… here he was looking after his baby brother like it was second nature.

To top it off Alan only ever smiled for John.

Jeff would have thought it would have something to do with how much John looked like their mother, another sticking point that made it hard for Jeff to really spend time with his second son. He was a constant visual reminder of her and it hurt every time he had to speak to the boy since he really did not have the time to grieve for her loss. The reddish gold hair, the crooked half smile, the bright hazel green eyes, the fine and lithe appearance with the grace in everything he did….

But that wasn’t why Alan saved his smiles for him and him alone. Alan was too little to remember what his mother looked like. Jeff may never know the real reason but he knew deep down it had nothing to do with Lucille.

A little while later Jeff found them sitting together on the floor on the living room balcony, Alan sitting in John’s lap being read to from a big thick book. Jeff had no idea what it was but clearly his son was trying really hard to read something that was way too advanced for his level but nevertheless plowed through and even made up words when he couldn’t pronounce them just so he could prove that he was smart just for Alan.

Jeff found himself watching, smiling as his boys bonded over something that he wouldn’t have done with his own brother all those years ago back on the farm. Back then bonding was mud fights in the pig pen, playing hide and seek in the hay barn and seeing who could spook the cows and the chickens… stuff his other sons were quite possibly doing somewhere else on the island. If only he could give those five years back to his son…. Things might have been different…. And quite possibly as much as Jeff didn’t want to admit, he knew that in the next few years to come he was never going to fully get one either. It was rather sad to think that about someone so young but there are times the hands of fate are hard and harsh. Maybe when he retires and gets to be a proper father to them… maybe then he’ll get his chance to finally be a kid.

Jeff walked back into his little office, wondering what the future would hold for his family and those who he knew deserved one that were not. He still had a children's hospital to build and that wasn’t going to go away any time soon.

PRESENT DAY

Making his way down to the hanger was took quite a bit of effort these days. He really had to do something and repair the stair wells but he was finding less and less time to do so. You could only do so much when there was only one of you.

The empty house was an echo chamber of memories both good, bad, heroic and abysmal so John spent most of his free time avoiding it by preforming machine maintenance. sadly, the only thing he had left besides the house and International Rescue were those memories and some left him reeling for days when they decided to surface.

When he finally set foot in the hanger and started to make his way across to Thunderbird Two he brushed his hands against Thunderbird Four as it was hanging up in the dry dock, the next of the machines to get a long list of repairs done. He had requested parts from Virgil but that was a few months ago and he was still awaiting them. Hopefully his younger brother hadn't forgotten with his busy schedule.

The glowing nods on his prosthetic leg glowed as EOS regained her connection to him and her chirpy voice filled the silence.

"So, what are we trying to fix today?"

"The Port-side vertical take-off Ramjet and the afterburner nozzles. The canisters need replacing, a few new wires and of course the nozzle caps for the afterburners. Those took some serious damage and accidentally sucked a bird into them after the rescue in Dubai."

"Ah yes, the hotel fire."

"I don't understand why they build things that high. You couldn't even get a fire department up there let alone get anyone away far enough if the entire structure came down."

"The GDF did help."

"So they did. Only after I had to get you to take over one of their planes and fly it over so they would take me seriously. The person he landed on top of the plane....they're alive are they?"

"Yes, they were released from hospital two weeks ago."

John let out a sigh. "That's a huge relief."

"Total lives you all saved, Five hundred and thirty six. Lives lost, two hundred and fifty four."

John winced and wished EOS didn't remind him. A tower that tall and a huge explosion wasn't something you expected to happen but it had. Many fell to their deaths when they realised there was no escape from the top twenty floors. Getting those he could out in one piece onto Thunderbird Two and the GDF planes before the top crumbled was not something he planned on reliving any time soon.

"Did I say something wrong, John?" EOS asked, her almost child-like voice sounding concerned.

"No. You just stated the facts. Like always." he knew she couldn't help it, was how her code was and there was no way to reprogram her without her doing it herself. Rouge AI that he made by accident because he was the one that helped make it when he was working in the US for NASA. The same technology was used in the Tokyo bullet trains and when they were able to stop one becoming a deadly crash, the code jumped to Thunderbird Five where it made an attempt to murder him. Funny how a killer AI was now his only friend.

He placed the last of the replacement parts on the mobile lift and climbed on, press it to go up so he could get on with his work.

FLASHBACK (original located here)

It had been a big day and it had taken some effort, but Jeff was happy to finally be able to leave the house for an important board meeting in Cairo, something he didn't really want to do but ultimately because he was head of the company he had to be there. The boys were all in bed - some requiring more effort than others – but all in all, his mother was going to have a very quiet night on her hands and should be fine for the next twenty four hours before he could fly back home.

A quiet night, depended on who you were in the Tracy household. Jeff had a bedroom on the other side of the house, away from his sons as to give them their own space, so for him every night was a quiet night unless someone was ill. For his second eldest son, a quiet night meant something else entirely.

“Jonathan...wake uuuup!”

John groaned. Who on earth told Alan to call him that? Had to be Gordon.

“Johnny!” Alan climbed onto his older brother's bed, which took a bit of effort and a few books on the floor and tried to shake him awake.

“Didn't I put you to bed over and hour ago?” John mumbled, rolling over and poking his littlest brother in the ribs, making him squirm.

“''Es.” Alan grumbled. “But 'dare's a monster under da bed.”

John could have told Alan there was a monster under his bed every night he came to wake him up but he knew it wouldn't achieve anything, Alan was too little to understand sarcasm and irony yet. Besides, John didn't mind the little ritual he had to go through to get the youngest of his brother's to sleep, it had become over the past year quite fun.

John reached over the side of his bed and sitting on top of a pile of unwashed clothes was a small torch, which he grabbed as he sat up. Alan grabbed John's other arm and tried to pull him along, so John just let himself be lead to the bedroom next door to his where Alan froze at the doorway, clinging to his brother tight.

“Wait here Alan, I'll go see if I can find them and maybe scare them away.”

Alan nodded and let go of his brother's arm, only to cling to the door frame encase he had to hide behind it encase a big hairy creature leapt out from under the bed. John knew the score, he had to play the hero who goes into the dark with the flash light as a weapon that evaporates the baddies that terrified his little brother.

He crept into the room, holding the light source like a sword. It was his fault really, Alan never used to be afraid of monsters until John let him sit up and watch some old television shows like 'Doctor Who' and some 'Star Trek', shows that had amazing aliens in really silly costumes and special effects - although for the three year old they where as real as night and day.

John pretended to hear noises and paused for theatrical affect, noticing Alan had hid behind the door frame and was only visible enough to be peaking around encase the creatures tried gobbled his brother up. John dropped heavily on all fours and carefully poked the dangling bed sheets that touched the floor, smiling to himself when he heard his little brother's intake of air. It was all about the anticipation, the thrill of surprise. But no matter what you do it was important to make sure Alan knew it was safe and the theater of it had to always be the same.

“GOTCHYA!” John whispered as loud as he dared - at least - loud enough for Alan to hear. He had thrown the sheets up over the bed to revel the cleanest underside he'd ever seen. The complete opposite to his own, but then Alan didn't have many things yet that he wanted to hide from his siblings. Give him time and he'd most likely have a room as messy as his and Scott's. John sat up on his knees and scanned the room with the torch, pretending to be on the hunt for the imaginary. Alan's heart leapt as he watched his older brother spring up and onto his bed, waving the beam of light as if he was slicing the air. Alan watched him pause and look around carefully until his eyes fell on the wardrobe. Alan started to move around the corner more, entranced in his brother's acting, completely believing his older sibling was tracking and hunting something he couldn't see around his room.

John bounced of the bed, lithe and agile, pouncing on the wardrobe doors and flinging them open. Alan couldn't see what was going on where he always stood in the door frame but judging by the noise and the banging John made he knew he was wrestling with whatever might be lurking inside. Alan flinched and looked frightened when he saw the torch his brother had roll out across the floor and almost turned to sprint down the hallway when John burst out of the wardrobe fighting what was to anyone else an empty shirt but to Alan, was the invisible creature from his nightmares.

Eventually the shirt was thrown on the floor, John rolling and grabbing the flash light and aiming it at the item of clothing as if the light would make the monster vanish. Exhausted from all the pretending, he rolled onto his back, flopped his limbs down and started laughing.

“All gone now Alan. It's won't be back.” John grinned in the dark.

Alan stepped back into he room tentatively and then ran quickly to the safety of his brother's arms as John sat back up. Alan hugged him tightly until he was certain it was safe to let go. John then picked Alan up off the floor, stumbling slightly as Alan wasn't as light as he used to be for him to carry around and sat him down on his little bed before he struck a heroic pose. This made Alan laugh and grab his bed sheets, pulling them up to his face to hide his giggles.

John then tucked Alan in as he snuggled into the mattress and whispered softly as he kissed his brother's forehead, “They'll have to do better than that to out wit me, until then Alan you're as safe as can be.”

“Tank you John.” Alan mumbled as he began to doze off to the land of dreams.

John ran his fingers through Alan's hair till he was certain he was asleep before picking up the torch and heading back to his own room, leaving Alan's door open so the light of the hallway illuminated it enough to keep the monsters out.

Yawning, he headed back to his own room and tossed the torch onto the clothes pile again and before climbing back into bed, fiddled with his alarm clock. He needed to be up early after all.

Hands shot out from underneath his bed to grab at his ankles but John was already ready for them and was quick to stomp down hard with his bare foot onto a set of cold fingers.

“OW! Hey that's not fair!”

“Sorry Gordon, but you pull this every time I put Alan back to bed. You're pranks are getting old.”

His other younger brother Gordon, poked his head out from under the bed. “You cheated.”

John rolled his eyes. “No, you're predictable. If you want to prank me you need to try a lot harder.”

Gordon started to crawl out from his hiding spot. “What do you keep under there? It's smells.”

“Usually it's the sandwiches Grandma makes for school but I saved a moldy squashed banana under there, just for you today.”

Gordon looked horrified and shouted, “EWW! I PUT MY HANDS IN THAT!” he looked around for something to wipe his contaminated paws on. John grabbed them and redirected them to Gordon's own clothes, smearing his brother's PJ's in rotten squashed fruit. “EW EW EW EW YOU'RE SO GROSS, JONATHAN!”

John tripped Gordon over and then sat on him pinning his eight year old brother to the ground, amongst all the hard books and other potentially sharp objects that were on his bedroom floor. He growled, making Gordon's cheery blonde hair stand on end, “Don't You EVER call me Jonathan again! I can just about live with Johnny but ONLY from Alan and Scott. Otherwise it's just John, Got that tuna brain?”

“Get off me John!” Gordon wailed.

John took a deep breath and relaxed his grip. “Why are you in my room again anyway? Did you wet the bed or something?”

“No, and I swear I didn't wet the bed the last time! Someone must have tipped water on me while I slept!”

John relented and stood up, hauling his little brother to his feet by the back of his PJ's. Gordon was quite short for his age and pretty light, unlike Alan who, while small in size, weighed like two sacks full of potatoes. Gordon maybe a practical joker but he couldn't lie worth his own teeth. If he didn't pee his bed, John could believe him. It's not like John had ever done so either and had ended up waking up with wet sheets without having any idea how as he didn't sleep in his own bed that night.

“Go clean up and put clean PJ's on, then go to bed, Gordon.” John sighed. “Do it before I have to march you into it.”

Gordon poked out his tongue. “You'll have to get Virgil out of my room first.”

“Virgil? What's he doing still up?”

“He was jumping up and down on my bed. He's probably ruined the springs by now if his head hasn't gone through the ceiling.”

“Just... Go clean up... Do it if you still want me to get up and time your laps in the pool in the morning.” John took a deep breath and walked out of his room and to the one across the hall where Gordon usually slept. His bedroom had views of the pool and the biggest beach closest to the house.

“You know that's a hollow threat Johnny, you ALWAYS help me with my swimming training.”Gordon said to him before heading off for the bathroom.

“I don't know why.” John muttered to himself as he shook his head. He should ask Scott if he would do it but Gordon has asked him specifically because he wouldn't make fun of him when he couldn't do a stroke properly. Despite the one year age gap, John was more mature than his older sibling, but then he had to be. It was sort of expected that he was now and he never really thought too much about it, except along the lines of  'Dad's not ok and we could be sent away from each other if we all keep acting like horrible little brats.' He took over every duty with Alan and was probably the only ten year old at the time who could change a nappy faster than any mother could. Jeff hadn't done anything to stop it either, as he knew that he had to take up a new line of work and whatever it happened to be he wasn't going to always be there and in one small way appreciated what John did. Sure, it will be a problem he'd have to deal with later, but while the boys were small it didn't matter.

John opened Gordon's bedroom door and got a pillow hurled at his head. Virgil looked mortified that he had hit him instead of Gordon. He slunk down on the bed, knowing that he was in a lot of trouble for still being up and fooling around.

“Virgil, Go to bed.”

“No.”

“Please?”

His yonger brother's eye narrowed. “No. You're not dad, you can't tell me what to do.”

“Dad's not home. I'm going to have to do.”

Virgil pouted. “No. I'm not going anywhere and you can't make me.”

John didn't even give his brother a chance to think about throwing another pillow at him as he launched himself at his sibling, knocking him off the bed and onto the floor, grabbing him around his ankles and trying to drag Virgil out of the room. Virgil fought back, kicking John hard in the chest and punching him on the arms when he got them within reach. Virgil wasn't a weakling either, he had punches that left pretty coloured bruises wherever they landed. One swift kick to the face and John was forced to let go and fall backwards, grabbing hold of his nose.

“What's going on here, and WHY aren’t you three in bed?”

John tried to blink his vision clear from pain so he could look at his other brother Scott, who was holding Gordon by his ear. He must have being doing something he wasn't have supposed to because even in clean PJ's, Gordon's face was red with embarrassment of being caught red handed.

“I would be if these two did what they were told.” John sounded muffled, he wasn't game enough to move his hands from his face. He felt like he had a runny nose and was pretty sure Virgil's mule kick made him bleed.

“I'm going to only say this once, GO TO BED!” Scott raised his voice to the tones that almost matched their father and both Gordon and Virgil scrambled, Virgil darted for his own room and Gordon hit his mattress like a rock sinking into a puddle. “That means you too John.” he added in a more nicer tone that still sounded like a warning. He helped his brother off the floor and walked him out of the room and gave Gordon a glare as he heard him start to giggle at John also being in trouble before turning off the light and slamming the door shut.

John noticed Scott was trailing his blanket around but Scott was quick to grab his brother's face to inspect the damage in the light of the hallway. “There's a little bit of blood but nothing serious. I'd wear a long sleeve shirt tomorrow though if you don't want Grandma asking where you got those bruises from.” he pointed to an area of huge growing black marks on John's arms.

“Gee, thanks Scott.”

“Don't mention it. You need to stop doing this every night, you get absolutely no sleep whatsoever and quite frankly none of them are ever going to appreciate it.” Scott just laid it out plain and straight. “You're not mum and never will be. Get a grip man, Alan's even got to grow up sometime, you can't keep rescuing him from 'monsters' forever, some day he's going to realise you're not a hero and just like the rest of us.”

John removed his brother's hand from his face and looked at the floor boards. He knew Scott meant well but sometimes he wished he wasn't so direct and blunt about it. He didn't say anything, there wasn't much to say in his defense that Scott wouldn't be able to throw back at him.

Scott's feature's softened and he relaxed. “Just try and get some sleep John. They'll be all in you face and turning your hair white early all day tomorrow. You know they will.” He did worry about his sibling but there was sheer arrogance that prevented him from being as affectionate as he should be. That's what Jungle speed in the afternoon tomorrow was for regardless if John liked it or not. Scott loved that game as it was the only time he could hug his brother without feeling silly for doing so and make it look like he was beating him up instead. He needed to be the big brother you didn't mess with after all and tried to maintain that image, even around the brother he felt the closest to.

John wasn't really listening to Scott any more, he seemed to be mentally elsewhere.

“Are you listening to me Johnny? I said you need to go to bed.”

“Huh? Oh yeah, sorry Scott.” John yawned and turned for his own room. He stopped in the doorway and asked, “Why are you changing your bed sheets in the middle of the night?”

Scott gave his brother a dark stare. “None of your business. Just go to bed.”

“Whatever. If your hiding dirty magazines I'll tell Grandma.” John smiled. He had 'The Speech' at the same time Scott did and knew his brother didn't pee the bed either unless he had been up all night reading things he shouldn't have. That was at least one mystery solved.

“Fine, which one do you want?” Scott growled.

“The one that has the lady covered in tattoos. She's really pretty.”

Scott rolled his eyes. “That's not even a dirty magazine.”

“I don't care, she's still pretty.”

“You always like the red heads.” Scott blew a raspberry. “Just don't even think of telling Grandma or I'll shove you into the pool when your helping Gordon with his swimming lessons.”

“Deal.” John's smile broadened. “Besides, I won't have to now that Gordon won't ever be hiding under my bed again.” he left his brother in the hallway to figure out what he meant. Instead, Scott just retorted with his usual.

“You still can't replace mum you know!”

John crawled back into his own bed and pulled the covers over his head. Thanks a lot Scott, John shut his eyes tight. Scott always used the 'you not mum' argument when he couldn't think of anything else to fight with John over. John knew he wasn't mum. Mum would sing to them lullabies, give them lots of cuddles and read stories to them before bed. It still hadn't occurred to the others that Alan will never get to have any of those things and the more they told John Alan's got to grown up he was determined to put his foot down with 'why should he?' Growing up is over rated.

The only reason he had to was because no one else would. Someone had to try and keep Virgil and Gordon from wreaking the place like the little whirlwinds of destruction they are. Someone has to make Alan feel he was a part of this family because he was the youngest and missed out on the things his other brother's were allowed to do. Someone had to make sure Scott didn't get into too much trouble with his rebellious streak because Mum wasn't there to stop dad going completely bananas when it came to dishing out punishment.

He really did miss her. Even now he couldn't even look at himself in the mirror without seeing her face reflected back. Scott did worry about John a lot and he knew it wasn't because he was trying to make sure his brother's didn't miss out on having someone like her, it was the plain fact that John didn't outwardly grieve for her like the rest of them had.

That didn't mean that he didn't when things got too much for him.

Why couldn't any of them just call him 'John'? He hated being called Jonathan. Even his father didn't call him that because he knew how much it hurt him. Jonathan was what mum called him and only she was ever allowed to. They didn't understand that the reason he tries to do things for them was so they didn't call him that and forget the name ever existed, except on his birth certificate. Just once he'd like his brothers to listen to him the same way he did for them.

Something heavy was moving on his bed and frustrated, John flung the sheets off his head so he could tell off who ever it was for not being in bed. He had enough of Virgil and Gordon's nonsense for one night. Last thing he wanted was to have them see him start crying, he knew if they did he'd never hear the end of it.

Alan sat on his chest on top of the sheets. John sighed loudly, letting his defenses down. It was funny, every time he thought of their mother, Alan was always there waiting for John in one way or another. It was almost like Alan had some sort of mental link with John's most deepest thoughts.

“Ev'y one's too loud.”

“Everyone should be in bed.”

Alan's head shook. “Scott's gone to get grandma 'cause Gords and Virg are pillow fighting and he can't get them to stop.” he then looked at John puzzled. “Why are you crying?”

“Huh? I'm not crying.”

“'Es you are.”

John held out his arms and flapped his palms, indicating to Alan he wanted a hug. His littlest brother was more than happy to climb in under the sheets to cuddle him. John's hugs were the best ones, warm and inviting and never judging.

“Ok so I am. What are you going to do about it squirt?”

“Give you lots a hugs.”

John smiled and cuddled his brother tight. “Alan, can you promise me one thing? Pinky swear?”

Alan's head craned to look at his brother. “'Es.”

“Don't ever call me Jonathan or Johnny. Just John.”

“But Gords -” Alan started to protest before John cut him off.

“-Will get pounded into the ground if he ever calls me that again.” Alan fell quiet. He had seen John beat up Gordon before, and the end result wasn't very nice. Sure John wasn't strong like Scott or Virgil but the rage that hid behind those hazel green eyes could be more crueler than the two of them together if John got angry. Luckily it was really rare John lost his temper, usually keeping it pretty self contained.

“I promise.” Alan tucked his head into John's chest and started to gently snore.

“Thank you Alan... and thanks mum for giving me a special little brother.”

 

PRESENT DAY

"John, you alright?"

"I'm fine, EOS."

"But you've been staring at that tool box for twenty minutes."

John took a deep breath. "I'm just trying to figure out this relay system."

"Want me to contact Brains?"

"No.. I think I've got - SHIT!" John jumped back so hard from the sparking electronics that he almost knocked himself over the barrier of the mobile lift. He held his left hand tightly as it now the skin was burned and in agony.

"Your heart rate is going through the roof and sensors indicate a injury to your dominate hand. I'll send an emergency call to -"

"Don't EOS! I'm ok! It's just a minor electrical burn, that's all. Nothing I can't handle."

"John, you need someone to-"

"THERE IS NO ONE!" John shouted, his voice echoing around the empty cavernous hanger bay. "Even if there was, They wouldn't come." There he said it, the one thing he spent the last ten years living in denial over. "They moved on EOS and I refused to join them. They eventually gave up on me and I only let Brain's and Muffy go because I could see they we're turning.... turning into what I have become. I wasn't going to take them down with me and now I'm alone in my own personal hell, where I should be."

"You could always give it up."

"I could but then what? I've tried so damn hard to have a life outside of this. Heck I wanted it more than the others did and almost had that freedom. I came back because two failed marriages had ruined me and left me with nothing and going back to this gave me a purpose."

"Humans have a purpose?" 

John sighed. "I can't give you a real answer to that one EOS other than we like to think we do. I've always found mine in looking after my brothers. When I didn't have that or at least a family of my own to look after I felt empty and alone. The loneliness hasn't changed but at least saving people gives me a purpose. Its.... something."

He stood back up and started the process of bringing the lift down. He would have to try again tomorrow when his head was more clear.